If you read yesterday's Life with Lynnie (LwL) entry, you'll know that I am once again in need of healing. And, of medical care.
Did this physical situation make me feel good? No.
You see, I've had swelling off and on.
Swelling, that I originally thought may have been due to the Seroma (pocket of fluid) still inside me, that could become the basis for cancer, or become an abscess and kill me, or cause swelling problems, since our medical system has not yet dealt with that problem... and won't for quite a while. Eventually, if I'm still alive, I will have that necessary surgery.
But now, the medical help I need is truly important, for swelling has not become the problem I am dealing with. It's far more serious than that.
The pain and suffering I've been experiencing, is not fun. Not in any way.
And, I will truly need a specialist that can fix my body. Unless of course, God gives me a miracle healing.
Have I been happy about dealing with this issue in my life? No.
In fact, I felt so upset at first, that I actually prayed, asking God to take me home.
Why would I do this? Well, I believe if you were experiencing what I am, you would probably do the same.
After all, after being cut open six (6) times since that emergency surgery for the incarcerated hernia, in September 2012 (almost three  years ago), and knowing I already need one (1) more surgery, knowing this serious problem existed, didn't make me happy. In fact, it made me sad.
I don't believe any of you know this, but I have had at least 15 surgeries in my life. :(
Some not life threatening, and some that were. Some extremely major, and some that weren't. None from communicable diseases, but most from my body being injured through various situations that have affected my life.
In any case, I began to feel overwhelmed by needing emergency medical care. Especially, since I was only able to obtain it through the hospital emergency room (ER) doctor, and not through the Muslim doctor that feels he would rather refer me to someone else.
You may be asking yourself why I am feeling like this.
Well, if you were in my shoes, you wouldn't like this medical situation. Nor, any from the past.
It seems I never have anything normal to deal with. It's always been something that is rare to be dealt with.
This makes it hard to get help. Especially, through our medical system here in Ontario, Canada.
We do not have control over our healthcare.
The system does.
We cannot see any doctor we wish to. We do not have any control over our situation. Nor, can we even be guaranteed to receive the treatment we need.
Just like my now deceased husband Gordon, didn't get, when he was alive.
So, I felt I would rather be taken home to Heaven, than to remain here on earth to hurt, and suffer. :( lol :)
I prayed, over and over again. Of course, I cried.
And, I even found myself asking God why I need to suffer, and suffer, and suffer... over, and over, and over again. lol Even though, I already know that His plan is to allow us to suffer.
Just as we read in 1 Peter 5:10, "But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you."
Once my head stopped being shocked, and upset, I reminded myself that God has told us, that we will suffer, here in our earthly lives. Just as we read in today's Bible verse.
The suffering we experience for a while will make us perfect, stablish, strengthen and settle us... for God has called us unto His eternal Glory by Christ Jesus.
So, whatever will be, will be.
And, I will continue to trust God, to overcome, once again.
I'll trust Him for my healing.
And, I'll trust Him for absolutely everything in my life.
Until next time...
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