In yesterday's Life with Lynnie (LwL) entry, I discussed how I had planned to spend time with my church family.
I must say that before I went, I had found myself crying. Even within moments of waking up on SONday.
You see, yesterday... Palm Sunday was also the day that would have been my deceased husband Gordon's and my wedding anniversary, had he still been alive.
Before I left home, I prayed. I asked God to help me through the day.
It's not just a case of grief. I feel like I miss being loved.
During our Bible study class, I seemed to be okay. No tears.
However, afterwards, when I went up to the sanctuary for our worship service, I felt differently.
Why? Well, our Christian music group who were playing so that we could worship through music, played a song that was one of Gordon's favourites.
That's when tears began flowing, once again.
All I could do was think of Gordon and how I missed him. And, his love for me.
I silently prayed, asking God to help me... and not let me cry any more.
It obviously wasn't God's will. For if it had been, I would have stopped crying.
But, I didn't. I couldn't.
Being embarrassed about crying, I decided to leave.
You see, I couldn't stop crying at all.
I picked up my coat and purse, and made my way out. But, was stopped by my pastor's wife and another sister in the Lord.
They hugged me, and prayed with/for me, after I explained why I was crying.
I apologized for being an embarrassment. And, let them know I felt badly about not seeming to be okay about dealing with my loss.
They told me I didn't need to feel that way. They let me know they understood.
For this and for them, I praise God!
Thinking about praising God, brought to mind Psalm 150:1-6, "Praise ye the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power.
2 Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness.
3 Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.
4 Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.
5 Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.
6 Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord."
I truly praise Him for everything.
Everything in my life. Even the trials I've experienced.
Even as I left, I found myself crying.
By the time I got home, I was no longer crying.
At least not for a while. Tears came again, for a short time.
But, after realizing that God helped me through the day, my evening was better.
For this, I thank God. And, praise Him!
Until next time...
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