Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Putting It Away...

Here on Life with Lynnie (LwL), I discussed how God helped me transport myself to the hospital in London, Ontario.  Then, I mentioned about the shocking news I received, after I arrived.

About how, in advance I had been told that the procedure I was to have done, was to have the pocket of fluid inside me, drained.  However, upon arrival, I found out that the procedure was not to have the fluid drained.  Instead, a drainage tube was to be installed in my lower abdomen.

After the procedure was done, I was moved directly into my room upstairs.

Later, I tried to sit up.  And, felt horrible pain.  Pain in a different way.

Please understand that as I have already discussed in the past, I still am having pain sitting up, even if it is much less painful, since I've been healing.  Pain that happens throughout my torso, from having my abdominal muscle used to reconstruct me.  A method that is rarely done, and takes longer to heal.

The pain I felt while in my hospital room that day, was severe.  This was due to the way the procedure had been done, just a short time earlier.

I looked down at my lower abdomen and realized that the drainage tube was only a couple of inches long, outside of my gut.  Then, it had attached a plastic item with various poking points on it.  It is used for various purposes, including flushing of the system.  Then, on the other side of the plastic poking thing, there was more tubing that led to the drainage bag.


I truly wasn't a happy camper.  Seeing this made me rather unhappy. 

I felt frustrated that the tubing from my gut hadn't been made longer, prior to where the plastic item was added.  If this had been done, tubing would have been sitting between my gut and thigh, instead of having an odd-shaped poking item there, causing me pain.

Once again, tears ran down my face.  It seemed that no matter how hard I tried, I just could not calm down enough for the tears to stop exiting my body.

In my heart, I felt like no one truly cared about me.  It seemed every hospital employee just supported what was done to me, not caring about my situation, at all.

The tears were more due to being frustrated than anything else.  Yes, I felt rather stressed.

How on earth was I supposed to be able to sit up?  And, drive home? 

A medical person who spoke with me for a couple of minutes, let me know that even though no one with a drainage tube installed (that would sit immediately behind a steering wheel) should drive, some people who find they are in my situation, do drive to get themselves home.

Hearing this upset me.  After all, it was a rarity for anyone to be in my position, still experiencing pain from surgery that had been done, in a manner that is not normal. 

It had been hard for me to get there in the first place.  But, now with the medical procedure done that day adding another problem causing pain and inability to sit upright, I was really upset.

Again, those feelings of why wasn't I told what procedure was being done in reality, prior to me arriving at the hospital? overwhelmed me.

And, how on earth would I get myself and my van home, again? seemed to prevent my body from not creating the tears that continuously flowed.

After all, if the correct information had been told to me without miscommunication, prior to the date of my procedure, I would not have driven myself.  I would have allowed my daughter B drive me, as she had offered to do.  Even if this meant she would either have to stay overnight in London, or make the trip, two (2) days in a row.

Reading my Bible helped calm me down.  Just knowing that God loves me and provides for me always, helped me become more emotionally stable.

As I continued reading in a more calm manner, I reminded myself that I needed to make sure I was not being nasty to anyone there.  Like my nurse(s).

I didn't want anyone to feel I was taking out my anger, on them.  Because, I wasn't.

Once again, I knew that I needed to forgive those who had managed to not just stress me out over the lack of clarity of communication regarding the procedure being done, but I also needed to forgive those who had done the procedure that increased my pain level and made me feel totally at a loss as to how I would get home, with my van. 

I was thankful for being reminded of Ephesians 4:31-32, "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."

Even though I felt I needed to forgive and began making sure I wasn't hurting anyone through me experiencing the pain and anger I felt, you may be wondering why I felt so upset, regarding having the procedure done in the manner it was done. 

In my heart I had felt like no one seemed to care that even the way the procedure was done, was physically painful and taxing to me.  This was in addition to how I already felt upset about the miscommunication I experienced.

In my mind, I felt that the tube coming from inside me could have been created long enough to avoid me having the extreme pain and bruising I was experiencing from having the plastic attachment positioned where it was, so close to where the tubing exited my gut.

A nurse who was helping out my nurse, was very kind.

She let me know that she wouldn't be happy either, if she had experienced what I had.  And, she also let me know that even though she couldn't tell me who it was, there was another lady up the hall from me, who had a similar procedure done.  This poor woman was apparently suffering the way I was.

This nurse let me know she would ask and find out if more tubing could be added.  This would help both the other woman and myself.

After hearing this, I felt so bad for this other female patient, that I began praying for her.  And, for this nurse who seemed to show me that truly... someone here on earth, cared.

I was thankful God had revealed this truth to me.  And, was happy that He had used someone else's suffering to help me stop looking at my own suffering.

For this, I was grateful.  And, praised God.

Until next time...

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