If you read recent Life with Lynnie (LwL) entries, you'll know that the last couple of days have been rather stressful.
And, tears have been shed.
Phew! I'm grateful those two (2) days are over, now. I must say I truly was not looking forward to the heartbreaking feelings that I knew would surround me.
For the last few weeks, on Monday's I've met friends at a legion, for a time of music, dinner and dancing. This past Monday, I debated on whether or not I should go.
Throughout most of the day, I thought it would be a good idea if I didn't attend.
After all, it was at 3:45 pm when that truck changed my life, years ago. And, I knew I would be at the legion at that time.
In the end, I decided that I would go and meet my friends.
Well, as I've written about, it is difficult living a life like I've been doing.
Not just due to the heartbreaking issues that affected me over the last couple of days. Although I must say that I miss hearing Gordon's voice, praying with him and spending time, together.
But, as I wrote a while back, I feel like I need a life.
Going through life's trauma's aren't easy. And, after feeling like I was basically imprisoned with healthcare issues over the past year that prevented me from doing much, or going anywhere, I truly felt like I needed to do something to encourage me.
So, I joined the group at the legion.
On the way there, I felt myself growing rather upset. By the time the room was filling up, I realized the time was about similar to when the collision happened.
Yes, it happened years ago, but when a person's suffering doesn't end throughout their life, the pain stays with them. When I felt myself tearing up, I left the room.
I made sure I went where I was alone. And prayed, as tears flowed.
You should know that I am used to this. There has not been a time... ever, when this did not happen to me, since the collision happened.
So, it didn't surprise me.
Trying to catch my breath wasn't easy. But, God helped me, just as He always does. And, I made my way back to join in the fun, not letting anyone know how I felt, or what I had just gone through.
After all, I wasn't looking for anyone to feel sorry for me. I just needed to deal with the issue that had plagued me for all those years.
How grateful I was and still am, that God helped me. He helps me, each and every time I find myself affected by pain, suffering and sorrow.
How grateful I am that He promised us this, in Isaiah 41:10, "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."
Some people may think it is fear in life, that brings on the suffering I go through, at this time of year. Or, dismay. But, it's not. It's actually part of the post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that has affected me.
It's simply that I'm human. I'm not God.
The issues that have affected my life, may be difficult for me to deal with, from time to time. But, God provides for me, helps me and never leaves me.
He helps me. He gives me strength. He lifts me up, encourages me. And, provides for my every need.
For this, I praise God!
Until next time...
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