Friday, June 14, 2013

Perplexed? The Answer!

If you haven't yet read the last couple entries here on Life with Lynnie (LwL), I would suggest you do so.  This way, you'll have an understanding what has happened over the last few days.

As I wrote about, Tuesday was a very stressful day.

Since my surgeon/doctor's appointment was cancelled Tuesday, I was scheduled to see him, Wednesday.

In late morning on Wednesday, my daughter P picked me up, once again.  This time, she had her boyfriend with her.

Off we went, doing a little bit of shopping.  And, we picked up some lunch.

After doing another errand, we made it to my surgeon/doctor's office, for my scheduled appointment time.

This time, I waited, but not as long as the week before.  P and I were ushered into one of his examination rooms.

I say that tongue-in-cheek, because on this occasion, I did not get examined.  We discussed what was happening with my gut. 

Then, I asked if he had received info regarding the referral he made to London, to a surgeon who was experienced at doing what he had told me were traumatic surgeries.

In response, he told me he had received a fax.  And, he told me he spoke with the surgeon in London, Ontario.

He explained to me that another patient with a non-urgent situation had also been referred to the surgeon in London.  That person was to wait 14 months to see that doctor.

He also told us, that he spoke with the surgeon in an effort to get me to be seen by him, much earlier than what had been arranged.  Unfortunately, the surgeon insisted that the earliest he could see me would be in November.  November 5th, to be exact.

Sigh...

We discussed my CT scan.  He told me he didn't wait for the results.  Instead, he accessed the hospital's computer system and saw the scan.

I still have fluid around the mesh.

This didn't shock me, and I told him so.  After all, how could it have disappeared?  The drain hadn't worked while I was in hospital.  The female doctor (who sounded Muslim, from her name) he requested assistance from, hadn't done the procedure he wanted done.

And, my drain hadn't worked the whole time I had it, at home.  So, why would this be shocking???  It wasn't.

I spoke up about this and commented that since he had previously told me that as long as there was fluid around the mesh, the antibiotic treatment wouldn't work well.  So, I asked rhetorically, why had I even been on the IV antibiotics for the past three (3) weeks? 

Of course, being a rhetorical question, no answer was needed.

He also told us that he will be searching for a surgeon/doctor in Toronto, who is experienced and qualified to do the surgery I need.  Not just at some point in the future, but that I need to have happen, immediately.

We discussed what was happening.  And, about the super-antibiotics I am receiving, intravenously (by IV).  We agreed that I cannot stay on them. 

He confirmed that once I am removed from them, the infection can spread to all my organs.  And, if there too long, I can die.

Therefore surgery is needed, right away.

Hmmm... I stood up and spoke to my daughter, referring to prior to my surgery in 1994, when I had my abdominal cavity relined.  I spoke about how I had a huge lump hanging out, because I had nothing holding in my intestines inside me, except my skin.

And, commented that this is exactly how I will live, once again... if I were to live through what my surgeon/doctor had told us was surgery so dangerous that not everyone lives through it.  With one exception.  Now, I not only had to have that mesh removed, but all the mesh in my upper abdomen, from the hernia repair, also.

Lovely!

What a situation to be in.  I can suffer without treatment, until I die.  Or, I can die on the table, during surgery.  Or, I can live through the surgery and live in pain, and suffer until I eventually, die.

Sigh...

He said he will call me next week, and let me know what will be happening.

This time, shock was not the most obvious feeling I felt.  Instead, I was unnerved, about the situation. 

Once again, I felt almost angry inside.  My thoughts about why I had been left so long, before obtaining suitable treatment... and thoughts about why as a medical professional, he hadn't thought to test me for this MRSA last fall, made me feel sick to my stomach. 

After all, if my medical situation had been found out, shortly after my original surgery in September, it's possible that I wouldn't be in the situation I am in, today.

Like normal, feeling frustrated, I took a deep breath.  And, prayed.

Only this time, I wasn't even sure what to pray for.

That's when I thought about Romans 8:26, "Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered."

I thanked and praised God, that I don't need to have wisdom about what to pray for. 

God knows my needs, just as He knows yours.  And, the Holy Spirit intercedes with prayer for those of us who are saved.

In my perplexity, I was grateful.  And, thanked and praised my Lord, giving all the praise and glory, to Him.


Until next time...

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