If you've been a long time reader of Life with Lynnie (LwL), you'll know that after my husband died, I used to go to the cemetary, regularly.
Actually, I used to go every Sunday, either before or after church. And, if I found myself anywhere near his gravesite, I would make my way there, just to stand or sit there for a while.
Why I did this, I have no idea. I suppose it is truly just part of grief, wanting to hold onto whatever one can, even if it just means visiting where the body of one's loved one is laid to rest.
As of a couple months or so ago, I decided I just couldn't do that anymore. I found that every time I visited Gordon's grave, I would get upset all over again. So, I decided to not go there as often.
In addition, I began to realize that if my focus was constantly on Gordon, I wouldn't be able to move forward with my life.
Please understand, it is not that I want to leave him behind. Although, in essence he is already left behind, because he is no longer here, with me. It's more that as long as Gordon is constantly in my thoughts, I didn't feel I could leave myself open to any new relationship that God might bring my way.
Of course, there's no guarantee this is God's will for my life, but I just couldn't go on the way I had been. So, instead of visiting Gordon's grave on a regular basis, I've rarely been attending, as of late.
Until today, that is. Had Gordon still been alive, it would have been his birthday.
Yes, I know that he's gone. Some people would say it is silly to be thinking of him. Some might think I shouldn't be feeling sad, today. But, I am.
So, instead of doing nothing and feeling horrible, I decided to get moving.
On my way to the cemetary, I purchased some flowers to place on Gordon's grave. And, some I placed on his mom's grave, too. After all, I am thankful he was born!
One thing I must admit, is that I have realized that true love never dies. Never. It stays with a person, always. At least, that's the way it is with me.
Saying this, I am reminded of the love chapter in God's Word, the Bible. The chapter of 1 Corinthians 13 tells us, "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity."
For anyone who is not aware, charity is love. In some versions of the Bible, the word charity has been replaced with the word love.
Without love, we are nothing. God tells us this, and I believe it. And, while faith and hope are necessary for every believer in Jesus christ, there is nothing more valuable than love.
Until next time...
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