Sunday, June 10, 2012

Living vs Dying...

Well, today was another of my Lord's days.  Being Sonday, I did what I normally do.  I went to church to worship my Lord!

Today, I worshipped only at my own church; no where else, in addition.  As usual, I enjoyed worshipping, singing and praising my Lord.

Afterwards, I had some things I had to do.

Eventually, I made my way to a funeral home in Belle River.  My friend K, who lives in my apartment building, was extremely good friends with the fellow who died.  Although they decided not to, she and E had even spoken about getting married, a while back.

It made me rather sad, thinking about E dying.  It's too late to pray for him, now; although in the past, I prayed for salvation for him. 

The deed is done.  He's either in heaven or hell, and only God knows for sure.  Even so, I have prayed that it was God's will to save him, before he died.

To be honest, once again I asked my Lord why He hadn't answered my prayers.

I cannot tell you how many thousands of times I've prayed that God would take me home.  Especially, since my husband Gordon died.

Since I am still here, writing this entry, I can say that it hasn't been His will to answer my prayer, in a positive way.  If He had, I wouldn't be here.  I'd be in heaven with Him.

It seems that His will is to take others, instead.  Like E, like my friend M, and other people I've known.  Most of these people have loved their lives and struggled to continue on living.

How fair is this?  Those who don't want to leave, die.  Others, like me, who want to go, are left here to continue suffering in this world of sinful existence.

Okay.  I know that fairness isn't always something we receive, here on earth. 

Some people reading today's Life with Lynnie (LwL) entry might think I'm depressed.  Well, maybe I am and don't know it. 

Or, maybe the truth is, I'm not.  But, I know that "for me, to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21).  Of course, that is a Bible verse that I have loved for a very long time.

In my heart, I believe that God has not yet taken me home, because firstly, He has a plan for my life, still.  Even if I'm truly not sure what it is!

In addition, I believe that as long as I keep working for Him, offering prayer and support for His children, my brothers and sisters in the Lord, and continuing planting those seeds for Christ, that are drastically needed in this evil world to help fulfill God's Great Commission, He will leave me here.  Even if I suffer.

So, suffer I will continue to do.  For Him.  Because I love Him and realize that all other love pales in comparison.  After all, as I said recently, God is love.  And, God never fails you.  Therefore, love never fails you... 

Hmmm... that kind of reminds me of my book!  lol

Until next time...

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