Monday, December 5, 2011

Beautiful??

A few Saturdays ago, I was at the YMCA/YWCA (Y) at 8:00 a.m., for their opening time.

As per normal for six (6) days per week, I go there to do my pool exercise for about one and a quarter (1 1/4) hours.  It's a lovely big pool.  Usually, it's nice and warm to get into, without being too hot, or too cold!

My usual routine is to us the family change room, which allows me to not have to climb up and down mega stairs to get to the pool level.  Upon occasion, I see familiar faces; some male and some female.

On this particular day, as I entered the change room, a couple I had seen previously were just leaving to go into the pool area. 

Once I was in the pool, and had begun exercising, the couple made their way past me, as they usually do.  This time, instead of just passing with a smile, they actually spoke to me.

The wife said hello and commented on the pool.  Then, the husband who was following her, on his noodle, paddling his way to the shallow end of the pool, stopped to speak with me.

Much to my surprise, after saying hello, he told me that his wife mentioned to him that I must have been very beautiful when I was young.  I thanked him for their compliment.  He went on his way, after a short conversation.

This man's comment floored me! 

Why would a complete stranger say something like this to me?  While I am never rude to people, and while I have learned to just smile and thank a person when they compliment me for any reason, I was shocked!

As I continued exercising, my mind wandered back to a few weeks ago, when I met in Oakville, Ontario, with my childhood friend M, for a short visit.

During M's and my conversation about how long it had been since we had seen each other, and while we talked about our childhood times, M told me that I was beautiful when I was young.

I recall not just blinking, but actually being taken aback when M made this comment.  Firstly, I couldn't understand why she made this comment, at all.  Then, after being shocked, my reply was that I thought she must be joking.  "Me????  You're joking!", I said.  My friend insisted it was true.

You know, I never in my whole life, ever thought of myself as being beautiful in any way, shape or form.  In fact, I had such a low self-esteem problem in the past, that I actually thought I was ugly, both inside and out. 

After all, I felt like no one could love me.  Love has never been something I've had much of, in my life.  It's something that has proven to be elusive.  Only a dream, that never seemed to come true.

Except for Gordon, that is.  Of course, now he's dead.  Gone.

As you might guess, I have more to say about being beautiful!  Please hang in with me.  See you, tomorrow!


If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com