Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Thankful...

On Sunday, while I wrote a bit about my day, I didn't address anything with regards to my daughter.

Anyone who has been following what has been happening with P, will be interested to know that although she had two (2) blood transfusions on Friday/Saturday and was released to return home, she really was not better. 

This band aid approach to healthcare really doesn't do anything for me, but get me upset.  In my heart, I believed my daughter should have been admitted, with more than just general testing done, to determine what is causing her problem of low hemoglobin.

After all, if it is serious enough to have to give her blood transfusions, so that she will have a level sufficient to supply enough oxygen to the brain, to keep her alive and not be subjected to further repercussions, surely she needs more medical care. 

Sunday around suppertime, she was back at the hospital, once again.  This time, she didn't want me to join her at the hospital, since she knew she'd be there throughout the night.  About 7:30 a.m. Monday morning, she let me know she was on her way home.

I was glad to hear from her, yet discouraged that no further medical treatment was done for her.  Today, P found out that she'll have to wait at least nine (9) days, just to see an specialist.  With God's help and your prayers, I am praying she will receive good medical care.

Thank you for continued prayer for P.  I am thankful for each person who has been praying for her.  May God bless you, always...

Yesterday, being the 2nd anniversary of Gordon's death, I returned to the cemetary, where I sat on my lawn chair for a while, crying and talking with God and Gordon.  It was a beautiful afternoon.  I couldn't have asked for a better day in which to do this.

While looking at Gordon's grave, and looking at my name on the grave marker, I began thinking about my life.

What life, I thought!  I no longer have a life.  Okay, some would say I do have a life, that it is a case where I am just not appreciating my life.  Well, whatever the case, I feel like I have no life.

I began thinking how I thought God was changing my life in a positive way, having me speak at conferences.  But, as you know, all this has changed.  Cancelled conferences mean that my life isn't truly changing, at all.

Thoughts ran through my mind.  As I reflected on how unhappy I am, I recognized that it is not a case where I don't have joy in my Lord, because I do.  I am just totally unhappy with my life.

Praying about this, I recognized that there is nothing I can do about the circumstances that contribute to making me feel unfulfilled.  Realizing this, I thought about how if I can't change the circumstances, then I will have to change something else.  My attitude towards my circumstances, for sure.

In addition, I decided I need to pray for guidance from God, for I truly feel I need to change my life, totally.  For this revelation, I am thankful.

Later, P, her family and I enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner, together.  It was nice to see my grandchildren and enjoy dinner, as a family!   For this, I am thankful. 

Tonight, is the full moon.  Usually, I look up at it.  It's hard not to look up at the moon, when it glistens on the water, creating such a beautiful calming scene.  However, I don't think I'll be able to do so this time.  The moon is hiding behind clouds.  Oh well.  There's always next time, God willing.

So, are you thankful?  I am.  Thankful for everything in my life, both the good and the not so good.


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com