Monday, October 24, 2011

Reflection...

You, who have been reading recent entries of Life with Lynnie (LwL), know that I made a business trip out of town, to drop off some copies of the book I wrote Love Never Fails You... at Good Books Christian Bookstore, in Oakville, the weekend before last.  You will also have read that enroute, I made a few stops to drop off items and visit with friends!

As per yesterday's entry, I along with N, and their neighbour's help, loaded up my van with the dresser and shelving.  After saying our goodbyes, I was off!

Before I write more about my experience, I must say that I am truly grateful to God for good friends, like H & N. 

We've known each other since 1975.  Together and separately, we have weathered many storms of life, with God's help.  I am truly grateful for their love and the love I have for them.  I feel blessed having them in my life.

Driving home was different than normal.  Firstly, I am not used to having my van loaded with bulky items. 

It truly wasn't a problem for me, but it had been many years since I had to drive any distance only using my exterior side mirrors and not my interior rear view mirror.  It kind of reminded me of when I used to drive those large trucks (in addition to the vans) for the post office, many moons ago!

On my way home, I reflected upon my short weekend jaunt.

I thought about how happy and sad I felt about giving up Gordon's wardrobe.  But, in my heart, I knew that I had done the right thing.  I knew that I had to do this, in order to be able to move forward with my life.  After all, Gordon is never coming back.

Thoughts about re-organizing my bedroom ran through my mind.

Just the thought of looking at Gordon's dresser, upset me.  I wondered if this was one reason I sometimes had problems sleeping.

You see, years ago, I had a lovely bedroom suite.  Upon divorcing, I no longer wanted it.  Later, my parents gave me some furniture my dad had finished, around the time when we first moved to Detroit, Michigan, USA, when I was a toddler.

Ever since, I have used this keepsake furniture in my bedroom.  When Gordon and I married, he added his dresser.

Gordon's dresser was something that had been his most of his life. 

When he married the first (1st) time, it had been left at his mom's home.  After his home burned down and his marriage disolved, and after he moved back to Windsor, his mom gave him his childhood dresser to use, once again.

He loved that dresser.  It wasn't due to being attractive in appearance, because truly it wasn't.  In the mid/late 60's, when it was a popular colour, his mom had painted the dresser... orange.

Still, Gordon had loved that dresser and treasured it.  Why?  Because, his own grandfather had built it.

My problem was that every time I looked at it, all I could think of was Gordon.  While I drove the about three and a half (3 1/2) hours home, I reflected on my situation and prayed about it.

As you can guess, there's more to be said, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.


Until next time...

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