Sunday, June 19, 2011
Shocking! Happy Father's Day!
Last night, my sleep was comfy but short. Once again, I had trouble drifting off. Oh well, I'll just keep praying about this problem. I'm confident God will continue providing for me, in the meantime.
Being Sonday morning, I went to church as per my normal Sunday routine.
As I was about to enter the sanctuary, two of our ushers approached me, letting me know that a gentleman was waiting for me and explained where the fellow was seated. I thanked them and proceeded into the sanctuary.
Seated in the middle section of the back row was B. I met B many years ago and have only heard of him being inside my church a couple of times over the course of all those years. It was shocking to me, because this was the first time I had ever seen him seated in our sanctuary, other than for Gordon's funeral, twenty (20) months ago.
I must explain who B is. He is a middle-aged man, who was extremely close to my friend Wanda, who recently died. In fact, they considered their relationship to be of the best friend sort, without romantic involvement.
We sat together throughout the service and afterwards I introduced him to a few friends. He filled out a visitor card and after the service, we met at our hallway information desk with M, one of the ushers who had originally informed me that B was in the sanctuary waiting for me.
M once again welcomed B and gave him a book to take home with him. Then, M graciously invited B to the next scheduled men's monthly breakfast, scheduled for this coming Saturday morning and handed him a complimentary ticket. B gratefully accepted both items, thanked us both and we went our separate ways.
However, what really did my heart good, was when B told me before we ever met with M, that he thinks he will return to worship again next week. I reflected this as I left our church building and thanked God for B, M and the whole situation.
While this whole event was shocking, it was such an uplifting blessing to me, too.
I made my way to the cemetary. As I entered, I noticed my friend J who works there. We spoke for a moment, before I headed to park near Gordon's grave.
Being Father's Day, there were many more people in the cemetary than normal. Still, I got out my lawn chair, set up Gordon's vase with water and the flower I had for him and proceeded to sit, talk to him and cry.
Well, it was too far to drive, being about four (4) hours each way, to visit my dad's grave. So, this would have to do. Actually, I visited Gordon's dad's grave, before I left the cemetary.
It's really hard on me, on special occasions like this. Every year, I used to celebrate Father's Day with/for Gordon. Sometimes with family, but mostly without.
I tried to make him feel special and loved, because he was.
Now, I am just alone. Period. Done. Game over. Living with a broken heart, grieving for the man I still love, isn't easy. But, God helps me every day. I trust He only has my best interests at heart, because I know this is the truth.
Still, I miss my husband. I don't think anything will ever change this.
Before I sign off, I would like to wish each of you dads a very Happy Father's Day!
Until next time...
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