Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Bewildering...

Last night, when I went to bed about 11:30 p.m., I was dead tired.  It still took me until almost midnight to fall asleep.  2:00 a.m. arrived and I was once again wide awake!  How could this be?

After what seemed like ages of tossing and turning, trying to drift off again into never-never-land, I finally got up from bed.  Angry with myself, I read for a while, before going on Facebook (FB) and checking and sending e-mail.  Yuch!

Then, just after 4:00 a.m. my newspaper arrived.

I read the paper, did the puzzles and finally decided about 5:00 a.m. to try to get some sleep.  This time, I was able to drift off, again.  However, I was up before my alarm was set to go off, at 7:00 a.m.

Lord!  Help!  This is disgusting!

Last evening, I even took melatonin, along with my vitamins.  I thought for sure I would sleep well.  It just wasn't God's will.

Consequently, I dragged myself around, today.  No rest for the wicked, people sometimes say.  Well, I suppose by that standard, I must be pretty wicked, for I just cannot seem to fall into a healthy routine for a sleeping pattern.

This morning, I was able to once again go exercise at my friend's gym.  M was feeling improved, but she is still not very well.  Hopefully, after she has her surgery next month, she will feel better.

After working out and working on the computer, I went to my church for our 50+ group luncheon.

This was the last luncheon until September, so I felt it was important to attend.  We had a nice group of people for our catered meal.

All in all, it was a great time of fellowship for me.  Two couples who were friends with both Gordon and I, were seated at my table.  I enjoyed chatting with them and discussing life issues and their upcoming travels. 

Even so, I felt like a fifth (5th) wheel.  Well, to be honest, there were only five (5) of us at the table, so I suppose you could say I was indeed the fifth (5th) wheel!

So, even though I had a great time of fun, food and fellowship with my friends, I still felt like something/someone was missing.  Of course, it was Gordon.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to stay for the whole meeting, as I was paged regarding a work issue I had to attend to.  After giving my apologies to my friends, I left just before the speakers were due to begin.

In a way, I suppose you could say God rescued me by arranging for me to have to work, instead of relax with my friends who were discussing how they rely on each other, regularly.

I don't feel badly that my friends discuss their loving relationships around me.  On the contrary, I am happy they feel comfortable enough to be normal.

Even so, I found I was grateful God arranged it for me to leave, because I found myself feeling rather low in spirit.  It's bewildering to me why healing is so slow in coming.


Until next time...

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