Monday, February 28, 2011

A Tasting... Plus, Grace and Forgiveness...

Saturday, after cleaning up my older computer (yes, it is operating better, now!), and after working out at my friend M's gym, I cleaned myself up and got ready to go out.

First, I returned to my friend M's home.  She was having an Epicure tasting party.  Actually, M is a sales rep for the company. 

In addition, M had a couple of other friends there at her home, showing their products, as well.  One woman was selling purses and another, was selling nutritional supplements. 

My friend knew I was only in attendance for her sake, and not for the other salespeople, for I was not interested in the product line of purses, nor for nutritional supplements. 

I already take the best supplements available, and have done for over 16 years.

Okay.  Now, you'll hear the truth about me, once more.  I cheated once again, on my weight loss diet.  How could I not?!

My friend M had prepared all these tasty treats, meant to show everyone in attendance the kind of delicious meals and snacks that can be made from the sodium-free products.  Mmmm...were these good!

I know I could have cheated more, by eating more, but I limited myself to only a few delicious morsels.  lol :-))

Originally, I had planned to pick up at least one (1) of my grandsons, and possibly two (2).  We were to go to Calvary Community Church, in Tecumseh, for the monthly movie night!  After all, it was the last Saturday of the month. 

The trouble was, they were both sick.  In fact, my daughter B and all her family were sick, so I headed off to meet my friend J, who was bringing our friend D, with her.

The movie was wonderful.  Another hit, in my book.

Just as the movie began, J offered both D and I a Kleenex, in case we needed it.  She obviously knew more about the movie we were about to watch, than I did.  Yes, I needed it, and used it!

If you're looking for a fabulous, heartbreaking, heartwarming movie make sure you watch Amish Grace.  This movie was based upon the 2006 Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania, Amish school shooting and the spirit of forgiveness the Amish community demonstrated in its aftermath and the book,  Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy.

In my opinion, Amish Grace totally portrayed not just the facts and heartbreak of what occurred during this real life tragedy, but the struggle with the pain of grief by people who wanted to be obedient to God's Biblical command to forgive.  Amish people and others.

This touched my soul so completely, that I am considering purchasing several copies of Amish Grace, in order to loan out to others, so the message of forgiveness can be visually displayed.

After all, God not only called us to salvation, but also obedience, including the act of forgiveness

In the past, I have written about each of these, but there is always more to be said.  Another, time will have to do.

Until next time...

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Sunday, February 27, 2011

Busy Birthday Week!

This week has been quite a mixed up week, at least for my Life with Lynnie (LwL) entries.

As you know, if you've read recent entries, I was ill Monday.  The day of our big snowstorm. 

Consequently, I wasn't able to go work out, or do anything I had scheduled outside my home.  But, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I worked out!  Friday morning I got a call from my friend M, where I got to work out.  M asked me not to travel out, because we were getting another storm, so I didn't go work out with her.  Instead, I did exercise at home, in my apartment!

Wednesday, was quite a day! 

Visiting the cemetary, I climbed through a snowplow-created snow bank, in order to visit Gordon's grave.  After all, I hadn't been in about 10 days or more!  Besides, in addition to wanting to go to Gordon's grave, I knew I had to be in South Windsor, so why not go?!

Afterwards, I dropped by my real estate partner/friend's home for a few minutes, to drop off something to him and to say 'hello'.  As you know, C had been in hospital for about 10 days, after collapsing in a diabetic coma.

Doing errands and having to see my daughter P for a few minutes, kept me busy until it was time to pick up my friend M, who will be getting married in May.  Since she'll be moving, she needed to get boxes.  So, off we went, got our fill of my van, before heading to Tim Horton's for coffee.

Then, it was off to Franco's (restaurant), to meet my friend J, for a late lunch, about 1:30 pm.  We celebrated her birthday.  Happy Birthday, J!  Together, we enjoyed a great time of fun, food and fellowship.

Later, it was time for another birthday celebration.  Even though my grandson N's birthday was not until Friday, we got together at my daughter B's to celebrate N's birthday, Wednesday evening.  Friday wasn't going to be a good day, since not all the family was available to gather together.  So, we thought:  Better early, than late!

We didn't just meet for a cake and gifts celebration as per usual; my daughter had me share supper with them, too.  What a blessing!  Everyone feasted and enjoyed time, together!  I felt so blessed!  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!

It may have been a celebration day of others' birthdays, but I believe I received the blessing, Wednesday!  A true answer to prayer, for which I praise God and thank Jesus!

Thursday and Friday was rather uneventful, with regards to my spare time.  Then, again, sometimes a quiet life is the most eventful!  And, a really good blessing!

Until next time...

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Saturday, February 26, 2011

Gotta Love a Lower-Than-Advertised Sale Price!

If you read the entry from two (2) days ago, you'll know that I purchased a new laptop computer.

My decision wasn't a hasty one.  In fact, over the course of the last year, I had been checking ads, comparing, etc.  Rarely did I see a computer I would be interested in. 

A few months ago, I decided that if I saw one advertised for a reasonable price, I would go check it out. 

I did, a couple of months ago.  Instead of buying, I decided to think about and pray about making this purchase.  At the time, I suppose I could say I wasn't 100% convinced I needed to do this.

Then, a few weeks ago, I saw an ad for the same laptop that I was interested in.  Again, I went looking.  Again, I left the store without making the purchase.  Why?  I really don't know!  All I know is, I later regretted not buying the computer.

After praying again, I decided that if God wanted me to move forward with a purchase, He would once again provide me with an opportunity to purchase the laptop I had been a sale price.

The very next week after I prayed this, I saw an ad for the exact laptop I was considering.  It was on sale, too!  In fact, for a better price than I thought I would see.

No, it wasn't a Staples ad.  It was a competitor's ad.  This didn't worry me.

Off I went to Staples.  Upon finding the laptop available at Staples, I spoke with a Staples assistant.  He turned out to be someone I have known for a while, through my work.

After asking a few more questions, I showed him the ad I brought with me. 

Since I had done this same thing, when I purchased my older laptop at Staples, I requested the price matching program + 10% of the difference, that was Staples' policy, in the past.

The assistant confirmed that he could do this and wrote up the purchase for me.  So, after all was said and done, I actually had a purchase price lower than what was advertised in the competitor's ad.  I praise God and thank Jesus, for taking care of me! 

You may be wondering what I bought. 

Well, I am happy to say that both yesterday and today, I actually used my new Compaq Presario with AMD Vision, to write and post these last three (3) entries.

Since the keyboard is slightly different than what I had previously, it will take a bit of getting used to, but I am becoming more and more comfortable with it.  I'm sure it will prove to be as great a blessing to me, as my older laptop has been!   :-))

Again, thank You, Lord!  Not just for taking care of me, but also for answering my prayer in a positive way.

Until next time...

Friday, February 25, 2011

Happy Birthday! & Please Vote...Now!

Here is a pic of my grandson J, my daughter B, grandson A and birthday boy grandson N!

In yesterday's entry, I mentioned that I would continue the story, today.  I didn't do this, because I realized that I had to write about a couple important family situations!  So, I apologize, but if you don't mind, please read the ending to yesterday's entry, tomorrow.  Blessings...

Fifteen years ago, my grandson N was born!  Happy Birthday, N!

At the time, he was my third (3rd) grandchild.  Now, he's one (1) of eight (8)!

His birth was a blessing.  He was born about six (6) weeks early.  Being premature, he was kept in an incubator and received special healthcare treatment, until he grew and was healthy enough to go home.

You may/may not have read in previous entries about how God blessed N with a miracle healing, after my daughter B allowed N's Neonatologist to bring in a pastor and elders from his church.  These faithful men laid hands on N, annointed him with oil and prayed for him.

Later, when N was due to be released, N's Neonatologist confirmed to B that her son (my grandson) had received the only miracle healing in the ward, at that time.

You see, the first scan N had, showed brain damage; the scan taken just before N was to be released, showed no brain damage.  None!

Brain damage doesn't heal; it doesn't go away.  Nor is there any medicine or treatment for it.  It's permanent.  Unless someone receives a miracle healing, like N did!

For this, I will be eternally grateful!  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!

Today, N is a tall, healthy and intelligent teen, who won awards in the 4-H club, he was previously a member of.  I pray that God will bless N with a career that will honour Him.

N has a baby sister, who was born, last May.  A, is a beautiful baby.  She is my only living granddaughter.  And, boy... does she get love and attention from her older four (4) brothers!

Here is a pic of A:

Here is my granddaughter, A.  Isn't she beautiful?!

A's pic is the same one my daughter B used when she entered A into Johnson's Baby Pic Contest.

Since there is only a couple or three days remaining, for you to be able to vote, please vote, now.  In addition, if you could vote again, each day, until the contest ends, it would be sincerely appreciated!

Here is a link to vote for A (you must be logged in on Facebook):

Thank you for voting.  I appreciate you voting, more than you know. 

As you can see, I have been blessed by God.  In many ways.  We all have problems in life.  But, by trusting in Jesus, God blesses us, in and out of trials we experience.

May God bless you, now and always.

Until next time...

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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Sick, But Interesting!

Monday, I had plans to meet with a friend/client for lunch. It didn't happen.

Unfortunately, I was extremely ill Monday. It was totally unexpected, too. I can only think it was a 24 hour flu.

There was no warning. All of a sudden, I was ill.  Truly ill!

Pain in my stomach, bowel troubles, nausea, etc. (too much info?). In any case, I didn't want to leave my home. So, we rescheduled our luncheon.

Being at home, instead of being out, meant that I had some time on my hands that I hadn't planned for. I rested. 

However, I finally got around to doing something I had wanted to do, but hadn't yet found the time. I unpacked my new laptop computer!

Still, not feeling the greatest, I didn't take the time I needed to get acquainted with it, setting up and operating the laptop. I just kind of checked it out, more thoroughly than I did at the store. 

Well, if I had to be sick, at least I had something interesting to do!

Before purchasing this new laptop, I looked at it fairly thoroughly at Staples. Three times, in fact!

At first, I couldn't decide if I really needed the computer.

My older laptop seems to be functioning okay, but the truth is, it is getting older and has been running slower than in years past. I believe this is probably due to needing more memory.

In fact, I have owned my older laptop for a number of years and it had never given me any problems. Still, with more modern programmes using more memory, etc., I wondered if I should bite the bullet and get another one. 

The worst thought possible would be for me to go turn it on one day and find it didn't work. Several people had told me that when an older laptop expires, it doesn't always give warning.

Ever since hearing this, I began thinking about the need for a second computer.  This way, I would always have a spare.

For the same reason I own two (2) printers. Remember, I use my computer and printer for work.

Okay. I may not be writing legal documents daily, but I certainly do need to not only use them daily, but have my equipment ready at a moment's notice. A Realtor's working life is like that. One moment, we don't feel busy, the next we are overwhelmed with work!

Besides, with writing Life with Lynnie (LwL), it is just one more reason to ensure I am capable of having internet access to LwL, for writing and publishing.

Since I had never had any problems with my older computer, I had long ago decided I would want to purchase a similar product, if I could. Also, I was hoping for the same operating system, but in an upgraded version.

This was definitely something I had to pray about.  I am happy to say that God answered my prayer in a positive way!  Thank You, Lord! 

More about this, tomorrow!

Until next time...

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Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Above (sorry, they're dark!) pics are of a mini hocky stick from 1999's memorial hockey tournament in memory of my Dad.

Sunday evening, I began to feel rather low in spirits, again.  All weekend, I had felt like this, but it got worse Sunday.

At first, I didn't know why.  Late in the evening, I thought it may have been because I didn't go to Kitchener, Saturday.

If you've been a reader of Life with Lynnie (LwL), you'll know that my brother Glenn died last July 1st.  He lived in Kitchener.

You'll also know then, that last fall, there was a memorial service held, honouring all who had died within the previous few months.  My brother Glenn, was to be memorialized at this service. 

After making a business trip to Brampton, and Mississauga areas, I stopped on the way home to attend Glenn's memorial service.  The only trouble was, they forgot to add Glenn.  So, some family members, friends and myself enjoyed a lovely memorial service, without honouring my brother.

The funeral home decided to add Glenn to last Saturday's service.  Nice thought.  However, since my sister does not speak with me and my brother B said he didn't think he could make it, I thought why go

It is a three to three and a half (3 - 3 1/2) hour drive to get there, and then the same to get home, again.  Was it worth driving seven (7) hours to see my brother's name on the screen and hear him memorialized?  Well, in my heart...yes.  In real life... no; not from a logical sense. 

Logically speaking, I would probably not even be able to find Glenn's grave, because there is no plaque and the ground would be covered with snow, still.  So, I didn't go.

At first, I thought maybe I was feeling badly about not attending, especially since I love and miss my brother Glenn.  Around bedtime, I realized that there may be another reason.

In the past, every year, the Clarkson Hockey Association sponsored a minor hockey tournament; for about
13 years after my Dad's death (until my Mom requested they rename the tournament), it was held in memory of my Dad.  It was called the Dick Rutter Memorial Hockey Tournament.

Every year, our family members, including usually some of my family, attended the tournament, at least for the opening ceremonies.  Usually Mississauga's Mayor Hazel McCallion (who knew my Dad well, from hockey) attended and along with my Mom, officially opened the tournament.

The tournament was always held this very same weekend, every February.  Just around the time of my parents' wedding anniversary, February 22nd.

In any case, it was Sunday evening that I realized that maybe that was why I had been thinking about and missing my family so much.

Grief is a terrible thing; an emotion that never seems to leave. 

While I know I am still deeply grieving my husband Gordon, and my brother Glenn, every time it gets near a calendar date of family importance, it seems my subconscious takes over and controls my emotions.  Without me even realizing it.

The saving grace, is that once the date passes, I usually feel better.  Thank You, Lord...

Until next time...

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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Something New!

Before I begin, I just want to mention that I forgot to add the pic of J, J and B celebrating their birthdays with cupcakes, a couple days ago.  If you're interested, you may want to take a peek!

Saturday afternoon brought something new into my life.  Skype!

In the past, some people had asked me to use Skype, but until Saturday, I had always refused.  Actually, I had a good reason for downloading the programme.

You see, I knew that on Sunday, Pastor Dave Roberts of Partake Ministries, from England, was going to use Skype to reach a few of us who volunteered to try out the system.  More explanation to follow, later, in another entry.

Some of you might think that I am a computer whiz.  The truth is, I am not.

I know how to use the programmes I need to know how to use, for work.  Everything (including my work programmes and learning how to use this blogging programme) has been a learning experience, for me, as it is for most people.  After all, this learning curve doesn't come naturally!

While some people in my age group are fairly computer-literate, there are many who don't use a computer, at all.  I place myself sort of in the middle.  I can use the computer fairly well, but don't ask me anything about how it works, or fixing it, because I cannot tell you!  :-))

Even so, I can reflect upon before I began using a computer, many years ago.  Now, I wonder how I ever lived without one!  How did any of us live before computers and the internet?!

In any case, I downloaded Skype.  Pastor Dave guided me, through it.  Okay, so I'm not perfect!  The 'lingo' used with some programmes doesn't always make sense to me, but once I understand what they mean and want, I'm usually okay.

Afterwards, he called me.  As I mentioned, Pastor Dave is in England, but hearing his Aussie accent was fabulous!

If you aren't aware of who Pastor Dave is, he is the head of Partake MinistriesPartake Ministries has pages on Facebook (FB), including a ministries page and a prayer support page.  Last year, Pastor Dave made me an administrator of both these pages, so I am involved in the ministry process, along with others.

Hopefully, Pastor Dave and his wife will travel to Wichita, Kansas, USA, to be a speaker/participant in the upcoming November Celebrating Christ Conference, along with me and others from various parts of the world.

It never ceases to amaze me how small the world has truly become.  Internet, computers, programmes like Skype sure make it simple to access those in other parts of our world.  After all, some of our parents, all our grandparents and other ancestors never had this opportunity!

While I may be shocked and happy to have such contact, God isn't.  It's all part of His plan for our lives, otherwise we wouldn't have it.  He doesn't always provide good/bad things in our lives, but He always ordains/allows them.

What a blessing I have received from all this technology.  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!

Until next time...

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Monday, February 21, 2011


In yesterday's entry, I forgot to talk about what we ladies did, after dinner.

I'll bet you can guess that my friend J suggested we play a game of Phase 10.  If you guessed this, you would be right!

We all agreed to end the game if we weren't finished by 9:30 pm, because J (who works at the cemetary) had to work the next day.  In addition, my other friend J was going to stop by my friend M's home, on her way home.

Just so you know.  We ended the game just before 9:30 pm; I won!  Then, my friends thought we should play another round or two.  The game changed.  I didn't win.  My friend B, did!  Congratulations, B!

Can you guess we had a good time, together?!  We did!  Thank you, friends!

My friend J suggested I watch a movie due to begin at 10:30 pm, called Madhouse.  She said it was a funny movie.  Until then, I began cleaning up the dinner dishes, etc.

When it was movie time, I was ready to relax.  I turned on the station, settled into my recliner, watched the beginning of the movie, which I thought was rather funny.

Then, it began.  Struggling to stay awake, I began dozing off.  Not only did I miss parts of the movie, but I missed the ending, too.  Oooohhh dear!  Now I'll have to watch it again, in the future.

Climbing into bed, I think I may have been asleep before my head hit the pillow, for I don't even recall getting into bed!

Waking in the morning, I truly didn't want to get up.  My body was hurting.  All I wanted to do was to stay in bed.  Unfortunately, even on the best of days, I cannot do this, for I have too much pain when I awake, to stay in bed.

Being Saturday, I read the paper and watched some television, the Create (PBS) station.

Once again, I found myself drifting off.  In fact, while doing the newspaper puzzles I enjoy so much, I could hardly stay awake.  Then, it happened.  I fell asleep, sitting in my recliner chair.

When my phone rang about noon, I woke up!

Wow!  I could hardly believe that I did that.  I knew I was tired and worn out, with every joint in my body hurting, but I was still shocked about falling asleep, Saturday!

Hopefully, I'll feel better, soon.  I need to recover by Monday.  Not only to work, but to begin working out, once again.  Lord, help me, please!

Until next time...

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Sunday, February 20, 2011


Here's my friends J, J & B, after they blew out birthday candles!

When I left off writing yesterday, I mentioned I had been beginning to describe my evening.

After all three (3) friends J, B & J arrived, together we sat down for dinner, together.

For starters, I served veggies with dip, plus two (2) dishes of creamed cheese, each with a different jelly topping I purchased from my friend M, at her last Epicure party.  Yes, this is the same friend M, where I go to work out!

I was eager to see my friends' reaction to the appetizers, but wasn't surprised when they loved them!  Especially the jellied cream cheese dishes. 

At first, I wouldn't tell them what they were, for I was afraid if they knew, they wouldn't try them.  Eventually, I explained the red jelly topping was a Chili topping; they loved it!  When I explained the green jelly topping was a Jalapeno jelly, they were truly shocked, for it is not hot, but sweet!

Then came the cheese dip that I had baked in the oven.  Again, another taste of pure heaven, for all!

Okay.  I cheated on my diet, somewhat.  I had a little bit of the appetizers with my friends.  Sniff, sniff!  How could I not! :-))

That was the only cheating I did, though!  While my friends dined on regular food, I ate only what my diet called for, so hopefully, my cheating won't affect me, too much.

Seriously.  While I would like to have joined my friends in a delicous meal including chicken breasts stuffed with ham and swiss cheese, squash and baked potatoes, I stuck to my plain grilled chicken breast and squash.

Afterwards, I surprised all with cupcakes for dessert.  While cupcakes are not anything out of the ordinary, the two (2) candles in three cupcakes were a surprise for my friends.  One to wish them Happy Birthday! and one to wish them Good Luck!

Well, since J (who I see, regularly) is having a birthday next week and B is having a birthday at the beginning of March, I thought I would celebrate their special days.  Feeling badly that I hadn't celebrated my other friend J's birthday recently, I made sure we celebrated everyone's special day!

My friends wondered why there was no candles in my cupcake.  I explained that it was because it was a leftover and not meant for me to eat; therefore, no celebration for me!  Sticking true to my promise to myself to not eat dessert, I didn't.

None of my friends ate the extra cupcake, for everyone was too full.  J was going to take it home, but forgot to take it when she left.

I'll bet you're wondering if I splurged.  No, I didn't.  In fact, I knocked on my friend K's door across the hall and handed her the tasty treat.  Never for me to see it, again!

Until next time...

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Saturday, February 19, 2011


Being tired yesterday, didn't keep me from doing all I needed to do.

In addition to my normal stuff, I went to my friend M's and did my workout.  Exhausting as it is, I feel blessed being able to do this, at all!

Afterwards, I came home to shower and change, before heading out to my Chiropractor's for my adjustment.

By the time I arrived at Dr. Gemel's, I could hardly walk.  Last Friday, I was the same way.  I believe it might be that by the time I have worked out five (5) days in a row, the pain has caught up with me, to the point, where my body screams I've had enough! or I've had too much!

In any case, Dr. Gemel used his computerized system to see what was happening with my body.  The adjustments he did were more intense in my lower back area, in addition to my neck/shoulder adjustments, normally done.

I praise God and thank Jesus for Dr. Gemel and the measure of healing I have been receiving throughout the years of treatment.  Where would I be without this?!  Well, for sure, I would be as disabled as I was years ago!  Again, I must say that although I may not ever be fully healed and restored, I am grateful for the measure of healing You have given me through Dr. Gemel, Lord!

Dr. G was shocked I was able to do what I had been doing, but was glad to hear I had been able to work out.  He told me to continue doing what I am doing, as long as I am not doing too much.  Go at my own pace.  The same advice I receive from my friend M, where I go to work out.

Once I arrived home, I took something for pain and laid down for about a half (1/2) hour.  My body would have liked me to lay down for longer, even if I wasn't sleeping, but I knew I couldn't continue resting, as I was expecting company for dinner.

After getting up, I began setting the table for my guests and continued working on my preparations.

My friend J (who works at the cemetary) arrived first (1st), a half (1/2) hour early!  It was shocking to me, because she had told me she would probably be late.

Next, came my friend B, who I hadn't seen since before Christmas, when she went to Ottawa/Gatineau area for a few weeks.

Then, came my friend J, who I see fairly regularly.  Thank you for the beautiful flowers you brought me, J.  I sure wish she would stop doing this though.  It seems no matter how much I try to impress upon her that she needs to come to my home empty-handed, she does not.  Still, I thank you for your loving appreciation.

Since I'm growing weary, I won't tell you yet about our evening.  Hopefully, you'll once again join me and read tomorrow's entry.

Blessings to you!

Until next time...

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Friday, February 18, 2011

The Highlight of My Day...

Yesterday, was Thursday.  That's the day I attend prayer and Bible study.

However, since our Pastor has introduced a different format for prayer and Bible study, I no longer join those who meet at my church, which is on Windsor's west side; I live on Windsor's east side.

Across Windsor and surrounding area, many groups meet at homes of those who host small groups.  I suppose some good things could be said about this.

For instance, I agree with our Pastor that this will encourage those who participate in each small group to know on a more personal level.  Even so, while I enjoy getting together with my friends and appreciate their hospitality, I still miss our traditional Bible study.  I've said this before, and I suppose that until the day I die, I will probably feel this way.  Oh well, such is life.

Even so, gathering at W & J's home last evening was the highlight of my day!  Thank you, for hosting our new home Bible study and prayer group.  I have no doubt that God will bless you for this.

Once back at home, I proceeded to do a bit of housework, as it needed doing.  Hey!  Let's face it!  No one is going to do it for me, so I must do it, myself.

When bedtime came, I made every effort to fall asleep, but sleep was elusive.

What is it about me?  I seem to go through this, regularly.  Sometimes, I can't sleep, so I stay up later and read my Bible.

Let's face it, it's a pretty bad situation when reading won't even make you tired!

One thing I make sure I don't do.  Even though I have a television (tv) set in my bedroom, I DO NOT turn it on.  While some people are lulled to sleep with the sound of a tv, I am not one of those people.

The only time I turn the tv on in my bedroom, is if I am working in my room during the day or early evening.  Usually, I am folding laundry or putting it away, or something like this.  Obviously, I only turn the set on, if I don't want to miss part of a favourite show of mine, like The Amazing Race, The Biggest Loser, or whatever.  If ever it is turned on, it is usually so, for only a few minutes.

So, it is rare for me to watch tv in my bedroom, ever.

Actually, once I have been in bed and had to get up, because I couldn't sleep for extended hours, is about the only time I turn on the tv in my livingroom, where I won't disturb any of my neighbours.

Although, I must admit, there are times when I get up and turn on my computer.  But, I have to be so wide awake that I know I just cannot and will not be able to get to sleep.

I did not do either last night.  Yet, once again, I was awake for more than half (1/2) the night.  All I did was lie in bed, thinking and praying.

Hey!  It's Friday!  I should be happy; I am.  But the reality is, all I am is tired.

Until next time...

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Thursday, February 17, 2011

What An Honour! Celebrating Christ!

Ahh...  Last night, I slept like a log.  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!

Obviously, I was exhausted, but it wasn't all from yesterday's schedule.  The night before last, I just could not relax.  Consequently, I don't recall having any sleep.

I was too excited to sleep.  Anticipation and other things kept me awake.

While I was anticipating attending our 50+ group luncheon at my church, it was not the reason for my anxiety.  Even if I was somewhat nervous about singing, there.

Truly, I had no reason to be anxious regarding the luncheon, for I attend the group every month. 

Yesterday's meeting was actually a health fair.  We had guests who set up table displays and talked to us and handed out information.  Some of the participants were from The Diabetes Association, VON, Hospice and The Heart Association.  All in all, it was a very interesting and informative meeting.

Unfortunately, not everyone who I usually see there, joined us.  For some reason, our Fellowship room was only about half (1/2) full.  At first, I thought this was strange.

Then, I thought possibly some who attend, who are from another church, possibly had a conflict in their schedule.  Other thoughts passed through my mind, too.  Including the fact, that since the topic was on health, possibly some people didn't like the idea of having a healthy lunch!  :-))

While together, we enjoyed a healthy and delicious lunch of soup, salads and fruit for dessert, this was not our typical lunch menu.

Most often, we have salads, some of which are not always the healthiest.  But, quite often there are so many dishes to choose from that people tend to overeat.  Not to mention the delicious desserts that many of us bring to share!

Whatever the reason for the low attendance, those who were there had a good time of fun, food and fellowship.  Those who were not, missed out.

My friend M, who is now retired, joined me at the meeting.  Thank you, M!  I pray you enjoyed yourself enough to join us again, another time!

Okay.  Yesterday, I mentioned that if you wanted to know what gave me the anxiousness that you should stay tuned.  So, here goes:

Tuesday evening, I received a phone call.  A long distance call.  This call was different than most I receive, because it was from a Facebook (FB) friend.  Together, along with others, we have ministered to many people. 

This was the first (1st) time I had ever heard her voice.  What a blessing it was to be able to speak and pray, together!

The call was filled with excitement, because my friend formally asked me to speak and sing at an upcoming conference.

The 'Celebrating Christ' Conference, will take place in Wichita, Kansas, USA, early in November, this year.

More details will follow.  However, I already know that I have been asked to speak to attendees regarding being single, divorced, widowed and/or married. 

Wow!  What a blessing!  What an honour!

Until next time...

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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Stay Tuned...

If you've read Life with Lynnie (LwL) lately, you'll know that my nine (9) year old grandson S, was once again in hospital, dehydrated, with infection, swelling, etc.

Monday, S was once again released from hospital and has been home, since.  Today, my daughter P (S' Mom) let me know that he has been refusing to swallow, eat or drink, anything.  Not even cold juices or ice cream!  To make matters worse, he won't even take his medicine.  Great!  Unless God intervenes soon, I can see S being admitted to hospital, once again.

If you believe in prayer, I would appreciate you praying for S.  Yes, he can be stubborn, but I also know he likes to eat.  So, if he is refusing food and/or beverages, you know he must be hurting fairly badly, still.  Thank you.  May God bless you.

Originally, I was scheduled to attend a real estate meeting, early this morning.  However, between my grandson being hospitalized recently and my business partner/realtor friend C being hospitalized, I decided to not attend and cancelled for both myself and my realtor/partner C.

Even so, I was up early today.  In fact, I'm not sure I slept at all, last night.  I know I laid in bed awake, praying and making every effort to drift off.  But, I don't recall drifting off.

What I was thinking about and praying about is a topic I will have to discuss another time, for it would be too much information, for today's entry.  So, if you're interested, please stay tuned!

Consequently, I am absolutely exhausted, this evening!

Knowing I had a bit of spare time, due to my cancelled meeting, I used my time wisely.  I went to the hospital, not just to visit my realtor partner C, but also to see his roommate.

On Monday, when I originally visited C, his roommate H told me how shocked he was to hear me tell C about how sick my grandson S had been on Saturday, when my daughter P brought him back to the hospital where he had surgery the day before.

H explained he was shocked, because he had been in the Emergency Room (ER) at the same time my grandson S had been there.  In fact, H had been in the bed directly across from S.  He made sure he told me how extremely sick my grandson had been.  Wow!  Talk about a small world!

When I had visited on Monday, I read in John 3, to C.  When I did so, I made sure I spoke loud enough that roomie H could hear.  The passage told of how we all need to be born again.  In addition, I had deliberately brought a New Testament Bible, so I could leave it as a gift to C.

As is normal for me, I had introduced myself to C's roomie H and prayed for healing for him.  This was when H explained to me about having met my daughter and her son, my grandson.

When I left the hospital that day, I knew in my heart I had screwed up.  Had I been on the ball, I would have brought at least one (1) other copy of a New Testament Bible, to give to C's roomie.  Agh...  How silly of me.  I usually do this, but for some reason I just plainly forgot.

No problem!  The solution was to go once again to visit.  Today was the day!

As I entered the healing duo's room, I made sure to hand H the gift I brought him, so I wouldn't forget.  My visit only lasted a few minutes, as I had to head out to another commitment. 

Before I left their room, I sang to these guys who proved to be a captive audience!  :-))

When I looked over at H, I was surprised and felt blessed to see H actually reading the Bible I had given him, only moments before.  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!

Until next time...

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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Hidden Away...

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. As I do every year, I sent out an e-mail wishing friends Happy Valentine's Day.

Some replied with words of encouragement, like one friend who hoped I had an, "easy day". Another friend responded saying, "Thanks Lynn but I'm just glad it's over as it is just another reminder that I am not the kind of woman men go out of there way for. Reality bites......Hope yours was better.."

Well, like my friend who was glad the day was over, I was glad I made it through the day, too.

My day wasn't much better than my friend's, actually. Oh, nothing was seriously wrong, except that I understand how she felt, considering some of us don't have anyone to love or be loved by, to share the day with.  Once you've had someone in your life to love and be loved by, it's difficult to no longer have it.

Even though Valentine's day is a heartbreaking time for some of us, I am glad that I celebrate the day.  Usually, I send out Valentine cards; this year, I didn't.  Usually, I give out candy hearts; this year, I didn't.  Not for as many people as I normally do.  For family, I did.  Celebrate Valentine's day, I mean.  We celebrated it, last week, before my grandson S had his surgery.

This year, I limited my celebrating with those who are really close to me.  The rest of the day and all the heartbreak it brings, I left with God, who helped me through.  Thank You, Lord!

Even so, I do believe that Valentine's Day is a good time to tell those who mean a lot to us, that we care.  That we love them.

When I say this, I am sure there will be some who will think badly of me, for telling others I love them, but this is what I believe is right to do.

In the New Testament, Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-39, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like it:  You shall love your neighbour as yourself."

Truly, I do not see anything wrong with telling those I care for, that I love them.  I do this, regularly.

Maybe it is because when I attended Celebrate Recovery (I needed support, when I was going through the hell of life, when Gordon was sick), I got used to hearing my friends tell me they loved me.  I learned to respond in kind, to those I am really close to, to those I love.  Because I do; love them I mean.

Of course, some people might think it is wrong, because maybe they take hearing the words  'I love you', out of context.  Or, maybe they think there is some underlying motive, or desire that is going unsaid.  After all, there is nothing wrong with loving someone.  Unless of course, it is in a sinful way. 

Personally, I am not about to become involved in any sin.  However, if you are not looking to invite sin into your life, there's no reason to not 'love' someone.

No.  I am not someone who wants to do anything that would upset my God.  Unfortunately, not everyone loves me, because I am like this.  Some friends think it is okay to walk the tightrope of life, on the edge of sin.  But, I am not like that.  Maybe at one time in my life, but not now.

So, I'll just carry on, being me.  I will show my love to others and tell them I love them.  I won't keep my love hidden under a basket, but I will let my love and light shine.  Hopefully, you will, too.  After all, every heart craves love.

Hopefully, you'll be like me and not keep your love hidden.

That reminds me.  There is a song I really enjoy that speaks of love being hidden away.  I hope you'll enjoy Josh Groban's Hidden Away

Until next time...

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Monday, February 14, 2011

Love...The Final Word.

Before I get into what I want to write about for today's entry, I need to say that I thank you for prayer for my grandson S.  If you read recent entries, you'll know that he has been hospitalized.  Well, even though S had profuse bleeding through his nose in the night, he has been released from hospital and is now at home.  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus! 

However, I must also add that my co-worker/real estate partner/friend C, collapsed Sunday through the night, in a diabetic coma.  He's currently admitted at Hotel-Dieu/Grace Hospital.  Since there are no beds available, he is once again held in the Emergency Room (ER).  Any/all prayer would be appreciated.  Thank you.

To me, it's rather sad to have a loved one, or a friend sick in hospital, especially on this special day of love.

After all, love makes the world go around. 

Isn't that what the world tells us?  Isn't that what most people think?  In a way, it is the truth, even if it is a secular thought.

Of course physical love (procreation) has always made a way for humankind to perpetuate itself.  It also fulfils God's commandment.  So, in a way, it does make the world go around.

But, leaving physical love aside, love from the heart doesn't always mean a fulfilled life, with happiness.  It seems that we, as humans, sometimes find ourselves married to those we truly don't love, or to those who truly do not love us. 

Without human, emotional love, it's hard to feel fulfilled, sometimes.  Especially, if we don't have Jesus in our lives.

Of course, there are others, like me, who wish the day would have just disappeared, so I didn't have to think about my loss and of being alone, without the love of a partner to love, and share life with. 

People sometimes find themselves alone, feeling rather sad on this special day of love. 

At least this year, I feel only sadness and heartbreak, rather than the devastating, shocking, overwhelming pain and sorrow that I felt last year.  Still, it broke my heart visiting my Gordon today, at the cemetary.

There is another kind of love that God tells us is the greatest love of all.  The most important love.  The final word, on love.

God told us in John 15:13, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."  That's what Jesus did, for you...and for me.

Being obedient to God, the Father's plan, Jesus didn't wait for us to become 'right' with God.  Instead, He fulfilled God's plan.  God's word tells us in Romans 5:8, "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

Wow!  Jesus proved His love towards us, before we even knew Him.  Before we were ever born, He loved us.

What a revelation it is, to know that no matter what life holds in store for us, that we are loved.  With an everlasting love.

I thought I would celebrate this special love day with you, by providing a link to Josh Groban's You Are Loved

I wish you a very Happy Valentine's Day!  Know that you are loved.

Until next time...

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Sunday, February 13, 2011

Call the Man...

Last evening, I wrote that my nine (9) year old grandson S, is in hospital. 

If you've read yesterday's entry, you'll know that S had his tonsils removed, Friday.  You will also know that S has a heart problem:  Supraventricular Tachycardia with evidence of Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome.

In fact, S was born prematurely, with emergency surgery necessary, because his fetal heart rate was more than double what it it should have been.  When neonatoligists here in Windsor couldn't get his newborn heart rate under control, he spent some time in London, Ontario (2 - 2 1/2 hr. drive from home), where the nearest pediatric heart specialist was located.

This heart problem means that S cannot have many meds, even cough syrup.  Surgery is dangerous, for he is not supposed to have anesthesia, either.  Friday, he had this, plus Morphine for pain.

Saturday afternoon, he was at home, but extremely sick.  My daughter P took him back to the hospital.  S was severely dehydrated, his glands and throat were swollen, had a throat infection, his heart rate was not stable and on top of all this, it is believed that he may be allergic to Morphine.

Needless to say, S was a very sick little boy.  I visited with him and his Mom, this afternoon.  S seemed to be feeling improved; he was finally able to eat ice cream and other soft, cold foods.  How long he will be in hospital, only God knows.  Hopefully, he'll be home, soon.

In any case, I praise God and thank Jesus for protecting S and my daughter P (who suffers from Lupus), who is feeling worn out and thankfully, less stressed.  I thank you, who prayed and continue to pray for S and P.  May God bless you, now and always.

Talking about God, if there is one thing that bothers me about some people, is when they irreverently call God...The Man Upstairs.

In the past, I've asked some of those who have used that phrase if they are saved or born-again.  Maybe it is different with you, but in my experience, most have admitted they are not.  It doesn't surprise me, for I have never met a born-again, Bible-believing Christian who would call their God this name.

God means everything to me.  When I say I cannot take my next breath without Him, I mean it.  Even so, life is hard. 

For me, life has been filled with trial after trial.  I know.  God tells us in Hebrews 12:6, "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth." In addition, He tells us in Malachi 3:2, "But who may abide the day of his coming? and who shall stand when he appears? for he is like a refiner's fire..."

In short, while God does not do anything to harm us, He does allow trials in our lives, to mold us into the people He wants us to be. He is obviously still molding me into the person He wants me to be.

Grief has broken me.  I feel like it's been the icing on the cake of a life that has not been all I had hoped it would be. But then, no one ever promised us a rose garden.

Even so, God has always been there for me. Through trial after trial, He's been with me. Always.

Celine Dion is not a favourite artist of mine, even though she has a lovely voice.  Still, her song Call The Man is a beautiful song. 

In my opinion, it makes no difference if your heart is filled with love and full of joy, or is broken or empty, I am sure you'll appreciate not only the song, but what is written in this YouTube clip:

Did you enjoy reading what was written on the video?  I did.  The words struck close to home.  Reality is knowing that in this world, there are very few people who love you (unconditionally, as God would have us do)...for you.  Most love you for what you can do for them.  Some don't like you, at all.

Wow!  What a world!  I'm glad it won't be this way, in heaven.

Until next time...

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Saturday, February 12, 2011

Birthday, Popsicles & Prayer Needed...

Last Sunday was my Lord's day.  Being the first (1st) Sonday of the month, it was Communion Sunday.  A truly enjoyable experience for me. 

Later, I visited the cemetary, as I usually do.  This time, instead of a blanket of snow, it seemed that I was almost up to my knees as I made my way through drifts.

It wasn't hard to know where Gordon's grave is located, for I have a wreath set up, there.  Although I must say that one time, a few years ago, Gordon and I visited his parents' grave (close by his) when snow covered the terrain.  I recall he carried a shovel.  Together, we made our way to where we thought the grave site was.  Gordon carefully lifted away snow from the area and...voila!  There it was!  On the first try!  Almost unbelievable, for the whole area has only flat markers.

This week, I did something unusual. 

It wasn't my daughter P's boyfriend K's birthday, for his birthday is actually February 14th.  Yup.  Valentine's Day!  However, since my grandson S was scheduled to have his tonsils removed on Friday, the 11th, we realized that S probably wasn't going to be feeling like eating anything, even cake, by then.

So, we got together and celebrated K's birthday...early!  As usual, I baked a cake and went to P's, where we enjoyed some time together, celebrating and enjoying our sweet treat.  Here's K, blowing out his candles! 

In case you're wondering, we did NOT have to call the fire department! :-))

As I mentioned, my nine (9) year old grandson S was scheduled to have his tonsils removed.  While this surgery is fairly common, even if it is not done regularly any more, it was a risky surgery for S.

If you've been a reader of Life with Lynnie (LwL), you'll probably recall that S is my grandson who has the heart problem that he will have to have surgery for, when he's older.

This means that he is not supposed to have general anesthetic or certain medications, like heavy duty pain meds.  Even just the stress leading up to the surgery is enough to start his heart rate going double the rate it should, or worse.  So, this was a stressful time, for S and his Mom.  For me, too.

If I told you I worried, you might think what kind of Christian is this?  After all, our Lord told us to not fear or be afraid, for He is with us always, even to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20).  In addition, Jesus told us in Matthew 6:34, not to worry about our life.  Besides, His will is always done, so what's the point in worrying?!

But truly, we are all only human.  Besides, I really didn't worry; but, I was concerned.  Only because I knew how dangerous it was for S to have this surgery, or any surgery.  Especially, since the closest pediatric heart specialist is located in London, Ontario; more than two (2) hours drive, away.

While in the recovery room, the nursing staff decided to move S to a regular room, where it was more quiet, because someone else in the recovery room was waking up, in distress. Just the stress in the room caused S's heart rate to skyrocket (even though S was still unconscious), during this other person's episodes.

I praise God and thank Jesus, for keeping a hedge of protection around S, and bringing him through the surgery, without any serious and unmanagable incident, yesterday.

Now, he's resting at home.  S has been refusing to swallow even his own saliva; but hopefully, his Mom can convince him to have a popsicle and he'll find out that it will help the pain.

Thank you, to all who have prayed for S and will continue to do so.  May God bless you, richly.


Oops...there's more I need to add.  Currently, my grandson S is back at Hotel-Dieu/Grace Hospital and is having an EKG.  He's extremely sick. S is dehydrated, his throat is swollen and filled with (white) infection and inflammation; he's been vomiting, too.

Once they have finished their tests, the hospital will be transferring S to Windsor Regional Hospital - Met Campus, where he will be staying until he's better.

Please pray for S...and for my daughter P.  Again, I thank you.  May God bless you, now and always.

Father,  On bended knee I come to you, because You are my God.  You are everywhere, know everything and are in control of all things.  Father, I come to you, requesting that it is Your will to heal my nine (9) year old grandson, S.  Father, Your will is always done.  I pray it is Your will to wrap Your loving arms around S, lift him up, encourage him and heal him, Father.  You know the plans you have for S's life.  Father, I pray Your plans include saving him, if he is not saved, already.  Heal S, quickly.  I ask also Father, that You lift up my daughter P, who is supposed to avoid stress.  You know her health condition and You know her needs.  Father, I pray it is Your will to protect and keep safe both my loved ones and provide for all their needs.  In Jesus' name I pray.  And, I thank You, in advance.  Amen.

Until next time...

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Friday, February 11, 2011

Kind of a Wash...

Last Saturday was kind of a wash.  Nothing special happened, especially since I didn't go out.  Anywhere.

For the second time ever, I once again went down to the basement, where my storage locker is located.  My intention was to make an effort to tackle the job of removing things from the unit, in an effort to re-organize and be able to reach some things I know are stored there, but cannot access.

Honourable intentions are always good.  Like mine were.  Did I make a dent in the chore?  No.  If you saw my storage locker, you would know why!

Last week, when I first went to find my storage locker, I was sort of in shock, searching to locate just exactly where my locker was.  After all, we have about 300 units in this building. 

Dealing with grief feelings, knowing that Gordon was the only person who had ever accessed our storage area, made me feel somewhat uncomfortable.  Not to mention realizing how much was actually stored there!

Even so, I recognized that this task needed to be done. 

Being more calm and collected this time, I quickly realized that in order to re-organize and hopefully reach things at the back of the storage unit that I hope to be able to utilize in my apartment, I would have to unpack and repack the whole unit.  This is not really what I want to do.

From a physical standpoint, it's not only a lot of work, but realistically, I don't know if I can repack everything and be able to shut and lock the door!  I looked at the situation and realized that I need to permanently remove some items, in order to begin this chore. 

Located immediately inside, is Gordon's set of golf clubs, cart and bag.  To make a long story short, all I managed to get done was to inspect and clean them. 

No way was I going to bring this upstairs, especially without elevator service to the basement.  So, after I dealt with the situation, I replaced them back into the locker.

Now, I must find someone who is a tall, right-handed person, who would like to have them.  Certainly, I cannot use them.  Even if I was physically able to golf, I couldn't use them, for they aren't suitable for me; I'm too short!

They are not new, but are in good condition; in fact, hardly used.  I bought them for Gordon as a gift many years ago, while we were dating.  In fact, before the bus collision that changed my life, Gordon and I used to go golfing, together.  Afterwards, he always said that he didn't really want to golf anymore, because I couldn't golf with him.  Consequently, this set has been used rarely, since.

Until we moved into our building that is.  In the basement, we have a golf range, where people can practice their swing and putting.  This is why Gordon's golf clubs were at the entrance to our storage unit.

I suppose you can tell, that I am just beginning to feel like I need to re-organize my life, too.  Giving away Gordon's things and clothing, will probably take me some time.  But, I am doing my best to deal with the heartbreaking issue.  I know God will help me.  Prayer would be appreciated; thank you.

Also that day, I did some household chores and did laundry.  So, I suppose you could say that the day was truly... a wash.  :-)) Pun intended!

Until next time...

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Thursday, February 10, 2011

No Matter What...

All day, on Wednesday, February 2nd, even though I didn't mention it sooner, I just couldn't focus on much, except the fact that it was 16 months ago that very day, that Gordon collapsed.  That it's been 16 months since I heard my love's voice.

I can't stand this.  Every month, I feel somewhat improved, but there are times when it's the same thing, over and over.  Like during the dates when Gordon collapsed and died.  I suffer greatly.  Does everyone suffer like this, in their grief after losing a soulmate spouse?

Lord, where are You?

Every month, I cry out to You, to help me.  You do.  Yet, I wonder why must I suffer like this, repeatedly?

Just once, I'd like to be able to live through the 2nd and 3rd days of the month, and the 9th and 10th days, without feeling overwhelmed.  Without brokenheartedly recalling the culmination of Gordon's suffering.  And, mine too.

Just once, I'd like to be able to not feel stressed as those dates grow close.  Just once, I'd like to be able to live through those dates, without upset, dispair or tears.  Just once, I'd like to feel like I'm not going to die myself, as I live through the flashbacks that burden me.

Well, okay.  Just once really won't cut it.  I need healing.  Permanent healing.  Healing that can only come from God.

Lord.  When are You going to heal me?  When is this pain going to end?  When will my suffering stop?  I keep trusting You, but each month, it's the same thing, over and over again.

People wonder why I sometimes feel that I wish You would just take me home.  I truly cannot stand living, like this.  I keep feeling like I cannot do this.  Yet, somehow You bring me through, each time.

Right now, it's a few minutes after midnight on February 3rd, as I'm writing this part of this entry.  It's about the time, when the emergency room doctor at Metropolitan Hospital asked me if I wanted Gordon treated, or just kept comfortable until he died.

It's about the time, when I had to ask my Father in heaven, to guide me and provide a miracle for my husband.  It's when I told the doctor I believed God could provide a miracle, so if they really didn't know what was wrong, I wanted Gordon to receive treatment.  It's about the time when the decision was made to transfer him to Hotel Dieu - Grace Hospital.

How can I go on like this?  Would you want to feel this way, if you were in my shoes?

I feel so very let down, Father.  In many ways, Lord.

The pain is so-o severe.  I really cannot stand this.  I can't do this; not without You, Lord. 
I don't understand where You are, Lord.  Why haven't you healed me?  Why is it Your will that I continue to suffer in grief?

Father, You alone know the plans You have for each one of us, plans to prosper us and not harm us, to give us hope and a future.  I know this; I believe this.  I come to You regularly, asking You to heal me from this grief that is destroying me, slowly.  Like dying a slow death, myself.  Your will is always done.  Your ways are not our ways, so it is impossible for me to understand why You would allow me to suffer this way.  You may not be causing my suffering, but You are allowing it.  What purpose could it ever serve, Lord?  Haven't I suffered enough, in this life, Lord?  When will You feel I have suffered, enough?  I look to You, for everything in my life.  You do help me through these heartbreaking times.  But, Father, this pain and sorrow has to end.  I pray it is Your will for You to heal me.  Heal me now, I pray.  I ask this in Jesus' name and trust You, for the pending healing that I believe I will receive.  Again, in Jesus' precious name I pray.  Amen.

Yes, this is the way I feel every month.  No matter how hard I try to not feel this way, it happens. 

Now, it's the 10th.  Later in the day.  Believe it or not, I feel improved, now.  I can only suppose that it is because I have survived another anniversary of when my life blew up, when my future was destroyed.

I've received messages from people from time to time, who feel that I am holding onto my pain, for no reason.  All I can say to those people, is that I pray you never have to go through what I've been through, with the suffering with Gordon, the troubles that went with it and with the grief that I've had trouble dealing with.

God has been my refuge.  There's no other way I could have ever gotten through what I have experienced, any other way.

Recently, I came across Christian music that says it all, about the way I feel of how I am getting through this ordeal.  The song is sung by Kerrie Roberts and is called No Matter What.  Here's a link:

Hopefully, you enjoyed it.  That's how I am getting through this horrible grief.  Trusting matter what.

Until next time...

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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Changes and a New Arrival!

Last Thursday, I did something a little different than normal.  I didn't go to Bible Study/Prayer at church. 

I may or may not have mentioned that our Pastor initiated a programme where those who want to attend Bible Study/Prayer do so in small groups at homes in various parts of our area, in Windsor and Essex County.  A group began February 3rd, at my friends W & J's home.

By attending the new group at W & J's home, I was able to achieve the same results without having to cross Windsor.  Instead, I only had about a 10 minute drive.  Hopefully, this will continue.  It proved to be a great time of fellowship.  Thank you, W & J, for your hospitality in hosting.

Friday, was the first (1st) Friday of the month.  We all know what this is, don't we?!  The date of Christian Singles' Cafe!

As you know, we single Christians meet at Tim Horton's, at the corner of Wyandotte St. W. and Crawford Ave., Windsor.  If you are a Christian single 35 years of age or older, come join us!  We meet at 7:30 pm.

When I mention this group to some people, they kind of shrink back, thinking it is a meat market type environment, but it is not. 

While I am sure some people who attend are hoping to meet/find a love match/life partner, it is not really the reason why the group meets. 

It is a great time of fun and fellowship, in a relaxed environment, where we can chat and visit with each other.  No one has to be a host/hostess, so there's no pressure for anyone.  No muss; no fuss.  Just a good time with friends. 

It gets us all out of our homes, once a month.  Some people have mentioned that it is the only time they go out all month, for some fun.  All in all, I must say that I am grateful to my friend J, who began this programme the fall that my Gordon died.

Many who attend, I have known through various means, for a long time.  Still, every month is different.  Sometimes, we have new people come out; sometimes, not.  Generally, we have between 10 and 25 people attend, with no rhyme or reason.

This month, one of our friends who usually participates, wasn't there.  Our friend, J...who we call...B.

In January, B went out to Edmonton to visit his daughter and her family.  B's daughter was expecting a baby; her first (1st).  In fact, B's first (1st) grandchild.

While B is out west, he is hoping to find work, so he can stay out there and be part of his grandchild's life.  May it be God's will for this.

Of course, we would like to spend time with him.  We'd miss him, but God's will is always done.  Time will tell.

All I can say now, is that I am happy to congratulate B on becoming a Grandpa for the very first time!   Gorgeous baby N was born Feb.4,2011 @ 10:05 am, 9Lbs 8oz.  Congratulations to B's daughter and her family, too!

Oops, I did it again.  B doesn't want to be called Grandpa, Gramps, Grumpy or any other name, but Papa.  So Papa, CONGRATULATIONS!  May God bless you as your begin your relationship with your grandson!

Until next time...

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011


Once again, I slept well Tuesday night.  It must have been, because I was totally worn out, after exercising! 

Of course, the hum of the wind that blew around my building may have gently contributed to me falling asleep, the way music does for some people.

Yes, we received a major snowfall.  However, it wasn't as bad as originally anticipated.  Hopefully, this was due to prayer.  Mine and other people's.  I, for one, had been praying that the storm wouldn't be as severe as we were told to expect; praying that the storm would change direction or do whatever necessary, to lighten the result. 

It happened!  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!

Well, Wednesday was another first for me.  Here I thought I had completed all the firsts in my life, since Gordon died, but I guess not.  I'm wondering how many more there will be.

Knowing that one day I would have to do this, I had put it off.  In fact, to be truthful, I had hoped never to have to do this, but it came to pass.  As I knew in my heart it would have to, one day.

In our recent newsletter, distributed to all in our building, there was a notice that some people had items stored outside of their storage lockers.  Apparently, for the first time in years, the notice told all that if these items were not removed by an upcoming date, the items would be disposed of.

My first thought was that we don't have anything stored outside our storage locker.  But, then I realized that I really didn't know, because I had never been down to the basement, in this building.  Yes, you read correctly; I had never been downstairs to the basement, to our storage locker.  In four and a half (4 1/2) years!

Why?  Well, for starters, Gordon never wanted me to go down there, because the basement is only accessible by a very deep set of staircases.  Gordon knew I need a knee replacement done; he never wanted me to hurt myself, by climbing down and up the staircases.  He told me it was difficult for him, never mind, me. 

While we have three (3) elevators to service our building, there is no elevator to the basement.  Amazed?  Well, in Windsor, we are living in the only apartment building, on the waterfront.  Literally, on the edge of the Detroit River.

While I don't know for certain, I can only think that possibly not knowing for sure if the basement area would ever leak or fill with water, the city may not have wanted to issue a permit to allow the elevator to service the basement level. 

Or, the architect/developer may have decided to not take any chances, knowing that an elevator could possibly be damaged by water, if the elevator was taken downstairs to a flooded basement, wasn't out of the realm of possibility.

For whatever reason, my building was built without elevator service to the basement.  Now that it is known that the basement has never flooded, we should approach the board to research the possiblity of adding one!

Both my friend/neighbour K and I had decided to go to the basement, together.  Today, was the day.  Actually, it was a good day for me, because my gym workout at M's was cancelled for today, due to the storm.

Still, I didn't look forward to doing this.  This was just another reminder of Gordon and my loss.  I prayed for God to give me strength and composure.  He did.

Down we went.  K accessed her storage locker to obtain the items she knew she wanted to take upstairs.

In my case, I had to search to find my locker.  I had the locker number, but before Gordon died, he had hoped to obtain a larger locker; I didn't know whether this had been accomplished or not.  So, I wasn't sure if the locker number I had was the correct one.  But, it was.

Not only did I have my set of keys, but I brought Gordon's with me, too.  As it turned out, it was a good thing I had, because the only key for the lock, was on his key ring.

Wow!  When Gordon had told me he couldn't put in another item, I believed him, but it was sure shocking when I saw it for myself!

While I was glad nothing was stored outside the locker, I realized that I will have to make many trips downstairs, in the future. 

While we have volunteers to help out, if requested, I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through unpacking and repacking, just to get out things that I know are at the back of the locker.

Besides, I realize I need to clean out the locker, go through items stored there and dispose of items I no longer want to store.  After all, when we first moved into the building, we had never lived in an apartment, together.  We didn't know if we would like it, or stay.

However, now I know.  I'm here.  I enjoy living here.  It's time to think about cleaning out and reorganizing.  All I need is the ability, time and of course, physically tackle this!

Until next time...

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Monday, February 7, 2011


Monday evening, reality set in.  So did the pain!

In fact, I had such severe pain that I could hardly move around my apartment.  No, I don't mean muscle pain, like we all experience using muscles we haven't used for a while.  Everyone feels that.

The pain running from my back, down my legs was so severe, I could hardly walk.  I was concerned that I would once again experience such spasms, that I would be disabled by it.

I made sure I took Traumeel to give me some relief.  And rested. 

It was shocking that I didn't jump up out of bed through the night, with spasms.  But, I didn't.  In fact, not only did I sleep through the night (praise God!), but when I awoke, the pain had lessened.

While I still felt like I had a pulled muscle in one of my legs, and hurt in the other, the pain lessened by the time I was ready to leave for my next workout appointment.  Praise God!  I was determined to not let pain hold me back, from what I know I need to do.

Even so, I made sure M knew that I may or may not have been able to do as much effort-wise as I had the day before.

M was so good to me.  Patient.  Kind.  Loving.  Not to mention, helpful.

She had told me that in the beginning, she wanted to meet with me, alone.  This way she could monitor me, my ability and my improvement, without any distraction.  I'm grateful. 

Eventually, when I am stronger and more able to work out at a level of the average person, she will have me work out with one of her groups.

M told me I should go home directly and rest, letting me know that I should not have gone shopping afterwards, on Monday.  Oh yes, I forgot to mention this, didn't I?!

Well, I didn't go home to rest, for I still had a small amount of shopping to do.  I know that once I stop, I won't be able to move well, again for a while, so I went and did what I needed to do.

This took place Tuesday morning, not in the afternoon, as like Monday.  After which, I met my co-worker/friend C at Red Lobster for lunch.  Yes, this is the same person, who was ill last Friday and couldn't attend our work meeting luncheon, at my apartment.

We talked over some things that we needed to discuss, while we savoured our delectable meal.

Of course, one of my church sisters L, who works at Red Lobster said, 'hello', calling us double-trouble!  Double-trouble, indeed!  lol :-))

While I know L was only teasing, I truly hate eating out, with my real estate partner, or for any business appointment, for it seems I always meet up with people, who give me the impression they think I'm dining with a man in my life.  As though business is not the issue.  Even if it is not spoken, it is often inferred, with raised eye motions, etc., from those I have run into, in the past.

Lord, give me strength.  Even if I were to have a relationship with someone, it definitely wouldn't be with my real estate partner/friend C.  No offense intended, as you know, C.  He agrees with me; not only is he not a suitable mate for me, I am not for him.  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!

Until next time...

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Sunday, February 6, 2011

Praise God for the Help!

Waking Monday morning at the regular time, meant that I had only slept for a few short hours.  Once again, I was tired.

Even so, I found my way to doing what I needed to do for the day.  During my morning activities, I called my friend M, whom I had visited with, Sunday evening.

I believe my friend M was truly shocked, when I asked her if I could come try working out in her gym, to see if I could handle it.  Believe me, I was shocked hearing myself say the words!

We set a time in the afternoon, for me to drop by her home.  She made sure to tell me to wear workout clothing or old clothes that I won't mind sweating in.  :-))

Upon arriving, we went downstairs to her gym.  We talked about my physical needs and health conditions.  M already knew, so it didn't take long.  We did the paperwork, protecting her from legal situations, as is required by her insurer.  Then, we went to the workout area.

I was terrified, to say the least.  I kept telling myself that I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). 

Even so, as sinful as it is to worry, I worried about hurting myself.  Doing so, would mean time off work, once again!  Who would want that?  Not to mention the pain involved with hurting oneself!

Knowing I still suffer from the effects of neck, shoulder, back and knee problems, plus rheumatoid arthritis (Ankylosing Spondylitis) and Fibromyalgia, M set the strength level low.  She made it clear I shouldn't push myself past a pain level I can tolerate.

Ha ha!  That's funny.  That's one of the biggest problems I experience!  Working past a pain level I can tolerate, I mean.

If you could experience what I do with chronic pain, you would know that if I didn't want to feel pain, I wouldn't move at all.  Of course, even that hurts.  Seriously, chronic pain isn't fun.

Even so, I was shocked to see that I made it around the system of equipment the first time, without feeling like I was going to die!

M monitored my heart rate and we did a second round.  By the time I was done, I was done!

Even so, I was happy I was actually able to do this, for about a year and a half (1 1/2) ago, before my Chiropractor's computerized equipment helped release my neck, I would not have been able to do work out like this.  At all.  Ever.

In fact, a few years ago on one occasion, all I did was lay down on our double-high air mattress portable bed one time after standing for longer than I should have, when Gordon and I were working at a home we were moving from and I had a major problem.  I stretched too much.  That's right.  All I did was stretch, in an effort to get off the bed, by myself without help.

The spasm that followed was so severe, I could hardly walk out to our vehicle.  Gordon immediately drove me to my Chiropractor, who immediately treated me.  Relief followed. 

So, you can imagine my shock, that I could manage to do this exercise, even if it was at an extremely low level of resistance.

Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!

Until next time...

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Saturday, February 5, 2011

Break the Pattern!

After leaving my friend M's Sunday night, I just couldn't stop thinking and feeling frustrated.

Being partially disabled and being rheumatoid arthritic, isn't fun.  It's difficult getting exercise, even though I know I need to do it.  My first choice is exercising in a pool; some people call it aquafitness.  Finding a pool hasn't worked out well, either.

One gym nearby has a salt-water pool where you have to climb a staircase to get to.  Neither the stairs thrill me, nor does the salt-water, for I do not know how my eye problem would react to salt-water.

Another nearby pool is a regular pool, but was very cold in September, when I checked it out.  At the time, I thought I wouldn't take out a membership, because if the pool was cold enough that a woman entering the pool was shivering in September, how cold would it be in February, when the ground is frozen, beneath and surrounding the pool?!  Besides, anyone arthritic should not enter a cold pool.

Consequently, I have not resumed pool exercise.

All Sunday evening, I thought and prayed about M's offer.  Come and try, she had said!

Up until about a year and a half ago, when my Chiropractor treated me with the computerized system that was able to adjust up higher in my cranium area, than he could physically adjust; and when my neck went pop and I felt relief for the first time in almost 29 years of debilitating pain, I always said no to her and to others who offered me a chance to workout.  Why?  Because any time I tried to work out, my body would experience such severe pain and spasms, I would be out of commission, sometimes for days.

No matter how I tried, I just could not stop thinking about M's offer.  I prayed about it.  All evening.

Knowing I have an agreement with my physician who cares for me regarding my diabetes condition, and knowing I'll be seeing him in April, I know I have to make headway in keeping my sugar level under control.  This was happening with my summertime pool exercise. 

If I don't have it still under control, I know he will want me to begin taking insulin by injection.  No way Jose!  Needed or not, I won't do it.  Of course, I also don't want to cause my body any problems, either.  So, I know that even though I have been trying to exercise within my apartment, the quality of exercise is probably sufficient for my need.

By bedtime, I thought I had put out of my mind, everything that could cause me to not sleep.  I was wrong.  Once again, I just could not sleep.

It seems that every time I climb into bed, knowing that Gordon's side of the bed is empty, I begin to cry.  I cannot seem to control this, anymore.

Just like other recent nights, I got up and cried for what seemed like hours.

Eventually, I calmed down.  After reading my Bible for a time, I turned on my computer.  About 3:45 am, Facebook (FB) friends were telling me to shut down my computer and go to sleep.  Believe me when I say that having my computer on, was not keeping me up.  My mind was.  Well, I did shut down my computer, but it was because my morning Windsor Star had arrived.

After reading the paper and doing the puzzles I enjoy so much, I finally felt tired enough to sleep, so off to bed I went.

This has become a bad habit, even if it is just part of my grief.  Getting into bed and becoming emotionally upset, I mean.  Upset enough to cry for an extended period of time.  Somehow, I need to break this pattern, for it has been happening for a long time, even if I had not been writing about it.

If you believe in prayer, please pray for me.  Thank you.  May God bless you, for this.

Until next time...

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Friday, February 4, 2011

Great Minds Think Alike!

After attending the Sunday afternoon church service at Bible Community Church, with my grandson J, I drove him home.

Heading towards my apartment, I had to pass within one (1) block of a friend and past customer of mine, to drop off some information.

Arriving at her home, I noticed an extra vehicle in her driveway.  I've seen this vehicle here before, so I knew it was a friend of M's who was visiting.  At first, I thought I wouldn't stop after all, but prayed for a moment and found myself getting out of my van and ringing her doorbell.

Wanting only to drop off the sheet of paper I needed to take to M, she insisted I come in.  Her daughter M, was overjoyed to see me, too!  M's husband M insisted I had to come in.  So, I did.

At first, I kind of felt badly that I had stopped by.  That was, until M explained that she had called me to invite me over for a light snack.  When I hadn't answered the telephone and my fax screamed in her ear, she knew I wasn't home!

Amazing how God works, isn't it?!  Here she was on my mind and I thought I'd drop by to deliver something to her, while she had been thinking of me and had tried to make contact!

You know what they say, don't you?  Great minds think alike!  Then again, fools seldom differ! lol

In any case, I sat with the group in M's kitchen and enjoyed light conversation, along with tasty treats that were laid out for all to partake of.

M explained that as an Epicure representative, she had prepared several recipes and had food packed up to take with her to her scheduled party that afternoon.  Just as she was about to leave, her hostess telephoned her to cancel the appointment.

Knowing there was too much food for just her and her family, M had phoned a couple friends (me, as one!) to join her family for snacks.  Snacks!  It was more like a meal!  And, delicious, too!  Thank you, M.  It was such a pleasant surprise on a cold winter's Sunday, around suppertime!  I felt blessed.

In addition to being a sales representative for Epicure, M is also a licensed personal trainer, with workout equipment in her basement, that her clientele uses; her business is called Wanna Be Fit.  The programme is similar to the one Curves uses.

M and her husband married a year ago, after knowing each other for a few years.  Her first husband had been Muslim; with her background of being Catholic, for a time she had been Muslim, for she had to convert in order to be married to him.  In fact, for a time, she lived in Jordan.

Through this experience, my friend M had learned bellydancing.  Between exercise and bellydancing, she had lost a tremendous amount of weight.  So, even though she no longer needs to continue bellydancing as a business or for exercise, she still does a teacher, for it is excellent exercise for women.

Busy lady, wouldn't you say?!

I mentioned that I was looking for a pool to use, so I could return to working out in the pool, as I had done during the summertime.  Physical disability, coupled with a crippling arthritic condition, makes getting exercise for me, very difficult.

Once again, M encouraged me to come work out with her gym, so she could be my personal trainer.  I told her I would give it some thought and pray about it.

Until next time...

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Thursday, February 3, 2011

Conflict Arising...

Again, Saturday night's sleep wasn't great.  As I mentioned in yesterday's entry, that old familiar friend seems to return once I arrive home.

No matter how much fun I've had while out and about, that loneliness that one feels when they come home to an empty apartment, returns.  Maybe I should say, that loneliness I feel, returns.

Consequently, after writing/publishing my Saturday night blog entry, I found I was too uptight to sleep.

Eventually, I made my way to bed.  The same thing happens time after time.  That overwhelming feeling of being alone overcomes me and I begin to cry.  Just as I did, Friday night.

Not wanting to disturb my neighbours, I once again got up from bed and went to my livingroom to have crying time.

Eventually, I calmed down and made my way to bed and slept, for a few hours.

Being Sunday, as you know, it's my day for worshipping my God.  At first, I thought that since I was going to worship in the afternoon, I wasn't going to go worship in the morning, but I did.

So, I worshipped at Campbell Baptist Church, my church at 11:00 am.  As always, Pastor B's sermon was wonderful.

Afterwards, I visited Gordon's grave, at the cemetary.  Once again, the grounds looked like the snow fairy had just dusted the landscape with a blanket of white. 

This day was different, though.  This day, there was one other set of tracks through the snow, leading to a nearby grave.  Believe it or not, it made me feel good that someone else had actually visited a loved one, just as I was doing.

Arriving home, I at a late brunch.  Then, headed out once more.

My grandson J, who had attended Saturday evening's movie with me, joined me.  Together, we drove across town to worship with Pastor B's group from Bible Community Church.

J enjoyed himself, very much.  He told me that while he liked worshipping at my church a while back, he likes this group, better.  J even told me that he'll come with me every time I want to worship with this group.  When I asked him why he liked this group better, he told me that it was because it was a small group.  He felt better in the small group. 

Being 12 years old, I am happy he wants to come worship with me, at all!  However, I can see a problem about to arise.

While I have volunteered for Pastor B, to help launch this church, and have volunteered to do special music and lead the music for the new site launch date of Easter Sunday, the time will be exactly the time of my home church service:  11:00 am.  Instead of the 4:00 pm time, that he currently uses for worship service.

Dilemma.  I cannot be in two (2) places at once! 

I didn't mind missing out with worship at my own church, by helping Easter Sunday, but I let Pastor B know that he needs to find someone else lead music for his group, because although I may come possibly once a month, to support his group, I cannot attend worship every Sunday, due to the conflict development of his new time for worship service with his group, being the same as my home church.

Father, You know my heart.  You know that I do not want to give up my home church family, even though I wish to assist with this new church planting.  Father, I pray it is Your will to provide someone to come along side Pastor B, for leading music, as well as whatever other needs this small group has.  I know Your will is always done.  So, I am trusting You, to resolve this issue and am thanking You, in advance.  In Jesus' precious name I pray.  Amen.