Monday, November 29, 2010

One Long Day-Trip!

Today, I realized that I had been negligent in writing about a recent trip I made.  Forgetting doesn't mean it wasn't important to me, for it truly was.  It's just that this has been a busy month, with many topics to write about.

Right from the first of the month, I had been mentally debating what I should do regarding November 7th.  This was the date of a memorial service being held in Kitchener, Ontario, for my brother and others who had died around the time of Glenn's death.  My brother B had arranged this.  I was happy at the thought of attending.

However, the thought of driving all that way for a day-trip, was rather unnerving to me.  Especially knowing it would be physically distressing to my body.  What was even more unnerving, was the thought of making it an overnight or weekend trip.  Why?  Well, the truth is, it would have been another first for me, since Gordon's death.

If I had made a trip away overnight or for the weekend, it would have been the first time I did so, since Gordon died.  In my mind, I tossed the idea back and forth, until I finally decided I did not feel I was ready to do this.  So, I made the decision to make it a day-trip.  Be still my heart!

To say it was a very long day, is truly an understatement.  But, I must admit, God was in control of it all and provided for me, right from the beginning.

Knowing that sleep has been a regular problem, I prayed God would help me be rested sufficiently, to be able to drive.  After all, many a night, I've just been heading to sleep at 5:00 am, not getting up to drive for a long, long day.

You see, I felt that if I was going to go that far, I may as well go just a bit further.  I have a contact in Brampton that has been considering moving to Windsor, so rather than mail info, I had pre-planned to drop it off to them.

By doing this, it also meant I could drop by to visit friends or drop off Christmas gifts, rather than mailing them.  Talk about killing 2, 3 or more birds with one (1) stone!

Well, something happened to me the night before I was to leave on my extended day journey, that hadn't happened to me EVER since Gordon died. 

Just after suppertime, I was feeling so-o-o exhausted, that I couldn't stay awake, so I hightailed it into bed and slept like a log, until my alarm went off, telling me it was time to get up and running, or better yet, driving!  Thank You, Lord, for your unending love for me.

By 5:00 am, I was on Hwy #401 heading to Brampton.  Arriving too early to wake people, I made three (3) stops there.  I did something I probably shouldn't have done.  I drove by some homes of memory from my past.

Driving by my address as a child, my heart longed for those days, but I was able to deal with the feeling.  Being within a block or two (2) of other addresses I lived, I found myself driving by, too.  This was okay.  But, then I found myself one (1) block away from where Gordon had lived.  I drove by.  This got to me.  I cried for a short time, then made my way to Mississauga.

After making a stop regarding the Clarkson Hockey Association, I made my way past my Mom and Dad's home, on my way to the cemetary where they are buried.  I removed dead flowers from their grave and replaced them with artificial ones that will last throughout the cold season; I didn't want to leave a monument wreath, because my sister usually places one on their grave stone, every winter.

Then, as I was leaving, I dropped off a Christmas gift and card to a family member who lived on a street I needed to drive on to head towards Kitchener, leaving it in their mailbox.

Heading up through Milton, I stopped at my friends H & N's home (I've known them for about 35 years or more!), because they were expecting me to have a cup of tea with them.  Actually, they were so kind to me.  H made a delicious omelette brunch.  Talk about tasty!  H sure can cook!  Thank you both, very much.  I truly appreciated your loving gesture.

Not really wanting to leave, but knowing I must do so, I headed off to Kitchener.  Arriving at the packed church, I took a seat, not seeing anyone I knew.  Glenn's memorial service began at 1:30 pm.

The service was lovely; a real tribute to those being honoured.  The only trouble was, they forgot my brother, Glenn.  No photo, no name, no reference, no nothing.

With everyone being invited for refreshments into an adjoining hall, I went to search out other friends and relatives.  Z & W called to me; we spoke for a minute or two.  Then, one of my cousins approached me, hugging me; I was really glad to see her.  After our conversation, I headed to speak with the organizers of fhe memorial service, but turned around to wave at my cousin.  She was exiting the sanctuary with my relative to whom I had dropped off the Christmas gift and card to, very early that same morning (probably earlier than they would have been awake at). 

Believe it or not, while this might seem like a rather upsetting thing to happen, for the person in question never even said 'hello' or acknowledged any of us, it just seemed to roll off my back.  I made my way to the hall for refreshments and to find my brother B, his girlfriend P, Z & W and hopefully, Glenn's friend M.

B & P, Z & W and I sat together and enjoyed conversation in addition to our refreshments.  Since I met up with all, except M, I dropped by her nearby apartment to see her for a moment or two.  Then, it was off to the cemetary where Glenn is buried, in Kitchener.

I secured (artificial) flowers to Glenn's grave, prayed and cried for a short time, before heading for home.

What a day!  To be honest, it was a day that severely affected my heart.  I believe I cried almost all the way home.  No one could have been more joyous about arriving home, than I.

While my heart was breaking over so many heartfelt issues of life, I also rejoiced, for I realized that God had been answering prayer for me.

You see, I have been praying throughout most of the last year, that God would reveal truth to me.  Truth about relationships.  Truth about me and my past.  While it made me cry, I knew I was grateful.  Thank You, Father.

Until next time...

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