Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Never-Never Land...

In yesterday's entry, I neglected to let you know how I have been sleeping.  Some of you may have been glad!  Some may be interested, so I decided to discuss the issue, today.

As with many nights in the past that I've written about, I battled insomnia for most nights since well before Oct. 1st.  As I've mentioned before, I will say again that I believe this is connected with stress and possibly with my grief/depression.

However, I've noticed that prior to each date of stressful importance regarding Gordon's death and buriel, I have battled sleeplessness, only sleeping between two (2) to five (5) hours per night, with most being at the low end of the scale.

In addition, I've noticed that after surviving the stress of each day of importance, I've been able to sleep, in most cases almost a full night.  In fact, the day after the anniversary of Gordon's collapse and the day after the anniversary of his death, I had trouble staying awake.

It may have been that my lack of sleep had just caught up with me.  Or, it may be due to being a release from stress over those painful first (1st) anniversaries.  Or, both.

In any case, I was grateful for the sleep!  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!

Some readers have e-mailed me asking how I survive, receiving such little sleep.  In response, I can only say that I believe it is only by the grace of God, for I don't believe that anyone sleeping so little, or maybe I should say, who is not sleeping, cannot humanly exist without their body being renewed, regenerated, physically.  That's what sleep is meant to do for us. 

Sleep is like our battery charger.  Without being recharged, your electronic equipment like laptop computers, cell phones, etc. cannot continue to operate, for they will run themselves down to the point where they cannot function.  Our human bodies are like this, too.  We need to be recharged.

I need to be recharged.  Especially since in addition to enduring many sleepless nights, I've been sick.  While I am feeling somewhat improved, I can honestly say I still require healing.  So, if you believe in prayer, I would appreciate if you would pray for healing for me, please.  Prayer moves mountains.  And, can heal me.  Thank you, so very much.  May God bless you, richly.

This morning, I forced myself to get up and out of bed, for I knew I had to get moving.  But, I was tired.  Something happened though that was different.

You see, this morning, even feeling not yet healed, I went to a funeral home, to give condolences to a fellow Realtor/friend whose husband died.  Last evening, I hadn't really felt well enough to go out, so I did not attend visitation, but this morning I knew I had to go.

Upon arriving at the funeral home, I saw my friend had been crying.  Normal, wouldn't you say?  I think so.  However, just seeing her so very upset made me feel like I was going to fall apart, myself.  "Get a grip!", I told myself.  It didn't take long for me to realize that I couldn't quite get the grip I needed to stay for her husband's funeral, so I left and went home.

After eating for the first time today, I found myself once again exhausted.  By just before 3:00 pm, I couldn't stand it, so I did something absolutely foreign to me.  I went for a nap.  I set my alarm for a 20 minute snooze, but just as I drifted off into never-never land, my telephone rang.  Upon hanging up the phone, I realized I just could not get moving again and reset my alarm.

All in all, I slept for an hour.  Now, I need prayer that I'll be able to sleep, tonight!  Hopefully, I'll have one of those rare times, when I feel so very exhausted that I won't have any trouble sleeping.

Hopefully, you'll sleep well, too! 

No, I haven't forgotten about finishing up writing about trials; I will continue, shortly.  Blessings...

Until next time...

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