Thank You, Lord, for allowing me to have another great night's sleep! I feel so very blessed. What has made the difference? I'm not really sure. I know I am physically exhausted. Maybe it's just caught up with me.
However, I must say that I do not feel as stressed as I did, prior to the first (1st) anniversary of Gordon's death and buriel. For anyone who has not lived through something like this, it would probably be difficult, if not impossible to explain, so I won't even try, today.
As I mentioned previously, I am trying my hardest, putting all my faith in God to help me find a way to have closure. I am not saying I will forget about Gordon, for I know that won't be possible, but I do need to find a way to go on. I may be alive, but I don't feel like I'm living. It's obvious to me now, that God's will is to not take me home, yet; if it were, He would have already done the deed.
Yesterday, I mentioned a problem I had with a real-life friend (not cyber-friend), who was upset with me over becoming a Facebook (FB) friend to her adult daughter. She did call me, as I mentioned, but I was in the shower and had to leave quickly afterwards to pick up my grandsons.
So, today I made sure I called my friend. We discussed things calmly, and was able to work through the problem. Praise God! Thank You, Jesus! I hate losing friends, especially over nonsense stuff.
Let's face it, no one is perfect. We all need to realize that we don't all think alike, concerning every issue in life. Besides, didn't God tell us that we need to forgive people? Of course He did!
The last time I wrote about my family was Friday, after I met with my daughter B and my grandchildren, to celebrate my grandson T's birthday. As you know, my grandsons N and J had their birthdays earlier in the year and we had not been able to celebrate together, so I baked/decorated a birthday cake and wrote Happy Birthday T..., plus my grandson N...'s name and J...'s name, too. In addition, I gave them their Christmas gifts from last year, as I had (for the first time) not sent them via my youngest daughter P.
We all agreed on Friday, that we would get together on Monday. We made arrangements for me to pick up my four (4) grandsons to go shopping.
T, N and J had spent some of their money on the weekend, while I held some funds for them and all of A's money.
About 4:00 pm, I arrived at B's home. My grandson T wasn't feeling well, so he decided to not come with us shopping. However, my grandsons N, J and A climbed into my van with me and off we went in to do some serious shopping.
Firstly, we had all agreed that even though it is rather early yet, we would shop for a birthday gift for their Mom, my daughter B, plus a Christmas gift for her.
Actually, the boys had some ideas on what they would like to find for her, so it actually was rather simple to shop. We found exactly what they had hoped for. Within about a half (1/2) hour shopping time, we had purchased both birthday and Christmas gifts for B, their Mom.
The hardest part was that the cashier didn't really want to be involved in dividing the bill, so we paid for the purchases in full. Then came the task of calculating how much each grandson had to pay for their fair share of the gifts. That was the easy part. The hard part was explaining to each of the two youngest fellows how I was sorting out the payment and change.
Eventually, we got squared around, for the gift purchases. Then, it was off to the sporting goods department, for the youngest two boys wanted to buy new hockey sticks and tape for themselves, with part of their gift money.
The cashier was a very nice young woman, who was patient with my grandsons. Actually, I was impressed with the people behind us in line, for they had to be rather patient, too!
All in all, it was an experience I will treasure, always. For sure, an answer to prayer. I'm blessed! And, I know it.
Until next time...
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