It would be really nice, if I could just settle down into a proper pattern for sleep. Last night, I was asleep by about 1:00 am, but then a storm about 4:00 am woke me and I never did get back to sleep again, no matter how hard I tried. Hopefully, you sleep better than I do.
Just to recap, my Mom found out she was pregnant, told my Dad, who went ballistic, abused my Mom and terrified her, until she finally walked out of our home, leaving me (about 12 years old, to take care of my sick four  year old brother) with my Dad, who raged, terrified me, threatened me and secured our home on his way out to work, by disconnecting our wired-in telephone and by using spikes on windows and doors that prevented me from getting out and getting help. As you know, when my eldest brother B left our family home the original night of the trouble, he thought the incident was all over.
By the second (2nd) day following the initial evening incident, you might have thought I'd be okay, but in retrospect, I think I was in shock over the whole incident. My brother Glenn was still very ill and broke out in rash-like spots.
My older brother B, came home. I don't recall how B knew that Mom had left, unless she had contacted him, but I cannot really say, for sure. However, B showed up at the house.
Confident that Dad was at work, B removed the spikes from the side door and entered. I thought the whole ordeal was over, finally. I thought he came to rescue me. But, he hadn't.
B told me that Mom was staying across the street with British friends M & J. B found the telephone where my Dad had hidden it and hooked it up, again. We called our Mom. He took a look at Glenn, with me and together, with Mom on the telephone, determined that Glenn probably had Chicken Pox.
However, in case we were wrong and Glenn had Measles, Mom didn't want to enter the house, being pregnant, even if she was in her last trimester.
When B left again, it was for good, for he had to return to where he was stationed with the Canadian Army. B reminded me to not let Dad know that I knew where the telephone was, or that I knew how to use the screwdriver and hook up the telephone. He made sure I knew how to unhook it again, and we placed it back in our parents' bedroom. B also reminded me to not get caught. Then, as he left, he replaced the spikes back in place.
There I was, once again, alone with my sick younger brother, in what I would call today a house of horrors. While over the next few days, my Dad was sometimes more calm, but nasty and sometimes raging. Quite often, he had been drinking.
In any case, life continued on like this for at least another week. Then, one day, my Mom removed the spikes and entered our home.
Together, we packed up some clothes and Mom took Glenn and I to Scarborough, where we stayed for a few weeks with Aunt Chris and Uncle Rick. They truly weren't blood relatives, but had been long-time friends with my parents, so out of respect, we called them Aunt and Uncle.
For sure, my Mom contacted a lawyer, for I still have in my possession a letter that had been sent to my Dad, regarding the marriage separation, etc. However, in the end, they reconciled. We returned home.
Again, I was sworn to secrecy about the whole ordeal. Believe me, I was still filled with terror inside. I was not going to disobey my parents.
When we arrived home, friends and neighbours (except for M & J) thought we had been away on vacation, visiting relatives without my Dad, for he had to work.
To this day, I wonder what would have happened, if I had the courage to tell someone, during this ordeal. I'm sure the result wouldn't have been good. Maybe that's why I didn't tell anyone. I cannot be sure, because between fear, worry and being stressed, I was truly a basket case.
Please realize. I was not an adult. I was a 12 year old child, thrown into the middle of a physical and emotional nightmare, responsible for a sick child of four (4) years old, living with a tyrant, who could not have cared for me, less.
Yes, there is still more. Hang in there. Hopefully, my ordeal hasn't bored you to tears. It gets better. Truly it does.
Until next time...
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