Since yesterday was Gordon's birthday, I wrote about Gordon and didn't write about anything else.
When I left off Friday, I was going out for the evening. My friend J picked me up. Together, we drove across town to pick up pizza at our favourite place, then headed to south Windsor, where our friends M & D live.
M, D and I enjoy the same kind of pizza; J likes it, but her favourite is with different toppings. So, I surprised her and everyone else. I ordered two (2) pizzas: 1 1/2 pizzas with the group's preference and 1/2 of one (1) pizza with toppings J likes. She was surprised, too!
Together, we feasted on salad, pizza and frozen yogurt for dessert. Mmmm...it was good! Considering I had almost refused to get together with anyone, it didn't take long for me to realize it was a good idea getting together. And, not just because of our meal!
At the end of our meal, D went to the rec room for some quiet time. J & M went to her den to show J some stuff on her computer. I just relaxed by myself.
Afterwards, the three of us joined D in the rec room, where he had their Wii game set up. We all had a laugh, as they participated in baseball, soccer and fitness games!
All in all, I was glad I had been talked into getting together, with my friends. I'm blessed. I know it. Thank You Father, for my friends. May You bless them, now and always.
Sleep didn't come easily Friday night. The last time I looked at the clock, it was about 4:00 am; I vowed to not look again, so I don't know what time it was when I finally drifted off. I know that I was up about 7:00 am Saturday morning.
You know the main details of what I did on Gordon's birthday, from yesterday's entry. After arriving home yesterday, I virtually did nothing but play on Facebook (FB) and watch television. One of my FB friends writes poetry. In fact, I have a link on my blog to his blog, where he has some poetry for you to enjoy. It's entitled: John Kasody Blog.
He's a student here in Windsor, whose home is in Ghana. Both he and his brother are friends of mine on FB. John, here in Windsor, chatted me up on FB. John wanted to let me know that he enjoys reading Life with Lynnie. He feels I should be writing a novel.
We discussed the fact that I began writing a book, before Gordon died. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to write more, since. Just on my blog.
John encouraged me to get back to writing more than Life with Lynnie. If God provides for me to be able to begin writing again, I'll do so. When my head is in a fog, as it is from time to time burdened with grief, I cannot think straight. So, until this part of me heals, I cannot see me returning to my writing. Hopefully, soon. God willing.
By the time I went to bed about midnight Saturday night, I was exhausted. Sleep came, quickly. Getting up about 7:00 am, represented probably the longest sleep I've had in a while.
It's rare for me to do this, but I didn't go worship my Lord, today. Due to my daughter having no vehicle and having committments, I loaned her my van for a couple of days. After all, it is a holiday weekend and I haven't any plans, so it seemed like a good idea.
Having no plans is a problem for me. Today, although I felt better than I did yesterday on Gordon's birthday, I felt rather down, still. I think it may be because I feel like I have no life, now. It's done. Over. Gone.
My friend A, who I just finished speaking with reminds me regularly that God does have a plan for my life. I know this. It's just that while I'm sorrowing, I cannot see what on earth God would use me for. Of course, while I'm like this, I'm not good for much, so He probably won't use me for anything, until I've been healed.
As A said, He is probably cleaning out the cobwebs of my life at this time, also. Hey! I'll agree with this, for I've been continuously thinking back over my life, wondering if I could have/should have made different decisions. It's a futile effort, really. Meaningless. Unless of course, it is God cleaning me up.
Lord, please finish with spring cleaning me, soon.
Until next time...
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