Sleep last night was almost non-existent. In fact, I don't think I had more than just a few minutes sleep, thoughout the entire night.
No, I wasn't upset over anything. Yes, I was thinking a lot, about the house I have over near the University of Windsor. I know. I don't usually talk about my work; at least not very often. This is a little different, though.
Late last evening, I had a call from buyers I had shown this property to, twice. If you recall, it is a home I personally own, now that Gordon is no longer here on earth. They wanted to meet with me today, to make an offer.
Anyone who has purchased or sold property in recent times, knows there is a tremendous amount of paperwork that needs to be done, in order to satisfy government requirements, now. So, I spent a fair amount of time preparing.
Today, we met at the pre-arranged time, at the house. I arrived early. Sitting in the livingroom, this overwhelming feeling of sorrow overcame me, to the point where I cried like a baby. Even though I could physically move into this home, it's not something I personally want to do.
Everywhere I looked, all I could see was Gordon. Blinds he hung, floorings he installed, wallpaper he hung. You name it, I saw it. I began to question if I should sell; maybe I should move into the home. I prayed about it. And, thought about it.
I called my friend A. We pray together, often. Today, I asked her to pray for me, for my buyers were due to arrive, momentarily. She agreed to do this.
When they arrived, they once again looked at the house, explained to me that they changed their mind about living in the home and have decided they would rather rent it to University of Windsor students. After some discussion, it became evident that the offer and paperwork would have to wait until Thursday, due to an obligation on their part.
At first, I was kind of glad, for this melancholy feeling was still with me. Part of me doesn't want to let go. Not just because our real estate market is so-o poor at the moment, that values in the area have dropped drastically over the last year, but mainly because of Gordon.
After praying about this, I was reminded that when I listed it for sale for him, just a short time before he collapsed and died, his desire was to have it sold, no matter the price. He no longer wanted investment property. I know I cannot handle physically any work on any property, so if I were to keep it, it would be an expensive proposition having to hire help, whenever needed.
Reality set in. Maybe it's because I was no longer in the home, but on my way home. I decided that when the offer is made, I shouldn't look back. Just negotiate and God will do the rest.
Father, You are such an awesome God. I know you have my best interests at heart. You are in control of all things. I thank you for providing someone of interest for the property. I pray it is Your will for this home to be sold. I pray You will lift me up, encourage me through this heartbreaking transaction. If it is Your will, I ask that negotiations be quick and simple, so as to not cause me any more pain or sorrow than necessary. I thank You for always being there for me. I pray You will bless the buyers, by making this a good investment for them. Help me Lord, to deal with my thoughts about how this feels like I'm disposing part of Gordon. I ask this in Jesus' precious name. Amen.
As I mentioned in yesterday's entry, in addition to the comments I received from my my upsetting status, I also received the following messages/e-mails (no names have been used):
* ...just read your blog and I always find it so interesting and fun. Yes, I said fun. I know you are going through a lot with your husband passing away, but you have no idea how much you help me. ...Since I have known you, I have found encouragement in your words. God has used you so many times to lift my spirits. He has let me into a little glimpse of your life and shown me how to deal with it all. ...You keep writing and posting and just being you. You help others in ways you have no idea. God bless you. We (names omitted on purpose) are always here if you need anything. Huggss!!
* Lynn, I just saw your "Remembrance Day" on the side with the poppy. It used to be called Poppy Day, as I'm sure you know. My mother and I were downtown shopping many moons ago...I was probably barely 1 & she was holding me & we made the newspaper buying a poppy & the man pinning it on her. I forgot about that until ...I saw your notice. See, don't even THINK about other people's negativity....you touch too many positively. They can unfriend you if they want to, but I wanted to let you know that I appreciated the memory! Blessings!
* ...i wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers. life has been difficult to say the very least, for you.
* Hello Lynn,
Hope you are doing great by the Grace of God.
As I wrote on your wall, I totally believe there are many people who want to continue reading your messages you post on your facebook or on your blog. You don't need other people's permission to write on your own wall or make a post.
It's not about how they do feel regarding your post or what they think when it comes to posting a message of truth. It's about what your spirit tells you to do and what God approves of.
Even some so called christians want to embrace the wisdom and practices of the worldly, thinking it's acceptable in the sight of God.
As you said in your blog, they haven't even read the Bible before to know what God says regarding all these things. But when the '' few chosen ones, out of the many called'' makes a statement or talks about words of wisdom, the ''many called ones'' find it offensive. Don't be bothered. You are not on earth to please anybody, but to please only God.
When you have made your choice to go through the narrow gate, there will be many who will disagree with you in many things. Jesus did not compromise the word of truth when the Pharisees and leaders of the synagogue didnt agree with him.
So don't be bothered what they say about you or your post or even when they de-friend. God will always bring people to your life who are gonna a blessing in many ways to you. God bless you.
Have a wonderful night and have a pleasant day tomorrow.
In response to the wonderful Christian love and support I received from my Facebook friends, this is what I posted as my status on Facebook, today:
Lynn Rutter McNally McKenzie thanks each of you dear friends for lifting me up when I was feeling low. I'm here and not going anywhere! May God bless you, now and always.
Until next time...
If you would like to comment, please e-mail: email@example.com