Wednesday, August 4, 2010

One Day at a Time...

About 1:00 am, I shut off my lamp after reading my Bible.  Sleep came soon after.  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!

Lately, I've had several people mention Grief Counselling.  It is definitely a good idea for anyone grieving to attend a group.  I've already done this.  At times, I have wondered if I attended too soon, before I was truly ready, because I didn't find it helped me, at all.  Except for the fact that I was with other people who were suffering the loss of a loved one.  It was helpful to realize I am not the only person going through this process.

As I've mentioned previously, grief is a process.  If you've been reading about me and what I've been experiencing, you'll know that it is a very painful process.  One I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.  Hopefully, I will get through this process, soon.

Actually, I do feel better than I did at the beginning, at the time Gordon died.  However, it is to be expected that immediately upon death, anyone would feel devastated.  Just as I was.  And, have been once again, over my brother Glenn's death.

People have been telling me that grief can last various amounts of time, for it is a very personal process.  When I hear some people grieve for years, I cringe.  It's times like this when I feel like I just cannot do this.  Even the thought of experiencing the pain I feel, for any length of time, is enough to drive me 'round the bend.  I've found the only way I can deal with this grief (if you can call it dealing with it at all), is one day at a time. 

Even one day at a time, is too long for me.  There are times, when I just cannot stand this horrible pain, one second longer.  I'm sure it must come out from time to time, in my writing.

Actually, I'm not sure this is bad, to have my pain come out in my writing.  I've had a few people tell me that my writing has helped them.  Surprised?  I have been.  Yet, part of me understands that, because I am not alone.  There are other people who suffer and feel they are suffering, alone.  Other Christians, who feel for whatever reason that they shouldn't feel pain, sorrow, sadness or any other negative feeling.  Ever.

On occasion, I've also had some people tell me that reading about my pain has helped them.  How this could be, is beyond me.  Still, I know that the loneliness is a killer.  Other people must feel this, too. 

Through this time of pain and sorrow, I've found that some people really believe that Christians should never feel down.  Never feel pain, sorrow or even grieve.  How anyone can think this, is beyond me.  Especially, when God's Word talks about other people's pain and grief.  Even Jesus', when Lazarus died.

As you may be aware, I am on Facebook (FB).  I have made many Christian connections with people; some I know personally, and recently, some I have never met face to face.

One such person is Pastor Mark Brown, from Australia.  His preaching/teaching and support on his many pages on FB have truly been a blessing to me.  From time to time, we all have trials in our lives. 

Whether or not you are experiencing a problem, I hope you'll listen to this short message.  Here is a link to one of Mark's short Bible Study video's posted on FB through YouTube:

Truly, I am thankful that I have been able to be lifted up by my fellow believers, even if it is through FB.  Thank you, Pastor Mark.  Your love and support is a blessing to me...and all who have contact with you. 

Today, I was blessed hearing from someone else, that I was of help to them, by lifting them up, during their time of feeling down over life's trials. 

Hopefully, God will continue to use me to help others, as I myself suffer through this pain of grief and more.  I'm trusting God for this, for we know that what satan means for evil, God means for good.

Romans 8:28 says it all, "And we know that all things work together for good to them who love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose."  Be blessed...

Until next time...

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