Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Prayer and Forgiveness...

At about 3:45 am, I finally fell asleep. Believe me, morning came early. I was tired and didn't really want to get up, but I could not get back to sleep, even just shortly before my alarm was due to wake me, because I was afraid I would fall into a deep sleep and snooze part of the day away!  So, I got up, even earlier than normal.  Yawn!  Can you tell I'm tired?

It was a busy day for me, today.  I had much to do.  Real estate work, to be certain, but also I began preparing to host another BBQ, tomorrow.  There won't be a large group.  There will just be my friend/neighbour K, my co-worker/friend C and myself. 

Originally, I was going to go to the trouble to serve the same menu and make the same salads I made when I had my Gals Luncheon recently, but K thought it would be too much work for me.  I must admit, it was a lot of work!  She suggested just making some baked potatoes, veggies and the steak that I planned to serve.  However, after suggesting the menu, K mentioned several times about how she loved the salads I made.  How could I resist?!  I decided I wouldn't do the easier menu, but instead, I thought I would surprise K and spoil her with her favourites. Knowing how much work it is to prepare this more complicated menu, I began preparing the dishes, today.

The day today was overcast.  Not at all like what the weather forecast called for.  I made sure I did my stretching exercise as soon as I was finished my real estate work.  Still, it was afternoon, before I got to go to the pool to do my pool fitness programme.  In a way, I'm glad I got to go into the pool this afternoon, because it was so-o very hot!  The temperature was in the 90'sF.  Nice in the pool.  Too hot, when out of the pool!

Tomorrow is supposed to be hot again.  That's okay when the three of us go for a relaxing swim in the pool, but I won't look forward to BBQing afterwards in the heat and humidity that's supposed to accompany the heat, in the early evening.  Still, I know I'll enjoy my time with my friends!

Yesterday, I prayed with a Facebook (FB) friend who lives in USA.  She is self-employed and with the economy not being the greatest, she and her family fell behind in their mortgage payments.  Apparently, they were able to sell their home.  Sort of.

Once the mortgagee realized that they had an accepted offer on their home and were preparing to move, they did something not very nice.  They foreclosed, giving my friend and her family one (1) week to vacate the property.  Not nice!  If you believe in prayer, I ask you in the name of Jesus, to pray for my friend and her family.  Thank you.  May God bless you.

In fact, as a person who has not only sold real estate for 22+ years, but had also worked as a mortgage officer arranging mortgages for people, I find this despicable.  I am not alone in this thinking.  In fact, Canadian courts ruled many years ago that foreclosure was unfair to the mortgagor.  It is for this reason that foreclosure is rarely used as a remedy for default, here in Canada.  Instead, power of sale is the remedy process commonly used.  The difference?  If there is equity that allows for funds in excess of monies owing to the mortgagee, they are returned to the mortgagor, who has lost the property, under power of saleForeclosure doesn't allow for this.  Any equity and funds in excess of what is owed, is kept by the mortgagee, in foreclosure.

This is basically what happened to my American friend.  In my opinion, it was a rather shady thing to do.  Wait until the mortgagee was convinced (by an offer being obtained) of the current value of the property, then not allowing the deal to be completed, but instead, take the property in foreclosure, so the mortgagor could make a greater profit, over recovering the monies due to them.  Think this isn't so?  Think again.  The mortgagee using foreclosure already has an interested buyer, now.  They'll make a great profit, keeping the excess funds!

May God have mercy on the people who made the decision to hurt my friend and her family, this way.  I know.  Some of you may say it's only business, it's nothing personal.  I don't believe God sees it this way.  I believe it was sinful to hurt them, just to make extra profit and believe God sees it this way, too.

God has told us that He hates it when His children are hurt.  And, my friend is definitely one of His children! 

In 1 Corinthians 8:12, God tells us, "But when you sin so against the brothers, and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ."  May God have mercy on the people who made the decision to foreclose, just to make extra profit, for they have truly hurt my friend and her family.

If the person/persons who made the decision for foreclosure and/or assisted in this greedy process is/are not saved, I pray God will save them.  Otherwise, they will pay dearly for hurting God's children.  Again, I pray...may God have mercy on them.  If I were Jesus, I would probably say, forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com

Monday, August 30, 2010

Surprise & Encouragement!

After all the upset I've felt over the last couple of days, it didn't surprise me that at 3:00 am, I was still awake.  It was then, when I decided I was not going to look at the clock, again.  Consequently, I cannot say exactly what time I went to sleep.  Today, I've been tired all day, for I didn't sleep in; I was up at my normal time.

Once I was up, I made up my mind I just was not going to have an upsetting day, today.  Well, it almost was an upsetting day, workwise, but it turned out okay in the end.

After getting my real estate work done, I worked on Facebook again, today.  Wow!  Another overwhelming time, but I think that by tonight, I had it under control.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring!

Today, I selected my lunch meal to monitor for my sugar level, even though I ate a little later than I normally do.  Prior to eating, my meter showed 9.8; not good really, but kind of normal after being upset yesterday, for stress can affect my sugar level.  After eating was when I did my stretching exercise; it usually takes me 30-40 minutes in my apartment to accomplish this.  As I've mentioned in other entries, the second part of monitoring my sugar level is retesting two (2) hours after eating.  Normally, after eating a meal, a person's sugar level should rise between 1.0 - 3.0, over what it was prior to eating the meal.  However, due to exercising just prior to retesting, my sugar level didn't rise, it actually dropped to 9.2.

It was immediately after this, when I went to do my pool exercise.  As you know, I try to avoid doing my stretching exercise and pool exercise during the heat of the day, but today, I couldn't avoid it. Wow! Was the pool busy, too! Seriously, I cannot recall the last time I saw so many people in the pool. It was actually crowded! Still, I was glad God provided for me to be able to get it all done!

After finishing my aquafit routine, I remained in the pool for a few minutes, to visit with friends, so I was in the pool for just over an hour.  I did something today, that I don't normally do.  I rechecked my sugar level, once more, just to see how I was affected by the pool exercise.  I was astonished to see my sugar level dropped to 4.8!

It's probably not that low now, for I really ate more than normal, tonight.  In fact, in addition to having some fruit, I also ate a few cookies.  Believe it or not, I rarely eat cookies.  Some people might find this hard to believe, but it's true.  I'm very fussy about cookies.  So, tonight was a rare occasion for me to eat some!

Something happened to me today, that really encouraged me.

Normally, I do not log onto Life with Lynnie (LwL) in my back office, they call a 'dashboard', until I am ready to begin writing, but this morning was different.  Upon logging in, I thought I would check and see where people who are reading LwL are located.

In the past, I could not do this, because I could only see a running tally of how many people have been on the site.  I wasn't able to know who they are, or where they live, or any information about them.

Now, things are different, since I now have access to Blogger in Draft.  This still does not allow me to know who is reading or anything about the reader, but it does allow me to see where they are located, as in what country.  This has only been available to me for about a month, but so far, I love it!

I've been able to see that the majority of people reading LwL are from Canada and USA.  However, I have also been able to see that people in Australia, New Zealand, Hong Kong, mainland China, S. Korea, India, Indonesia, Malaysia, Latvia, France, Italy, S. Africa, Kenya, Ghana and more have read LwL.  Amazing!  This doesn't mean they are daily readers, but it means that from time-to-time, people from practically all over the world have been on LwL.  Wow!  I can hardly believe it!

The biggest surprise I got today, was that I obtained another follower on LwL.  This is number 2!  Most people who read, don't actually sign up to be a follower.  Surprise, surprise!  The person actually lives right here in Essex County. 

At some point, I may clue you in to see who the person is, but for the moment, I won't.  I can tell you that he is a few years older than I and is a widower.  This gentleman said, "I blundered onto your site".  He too, is a writer; in fact, he is a published writer, whose book about his wife's life is available in Christian bookstores.  You could have knocked me over with a feather!

In addition, I had a couple of other e-mails and a Facebook message, regarding LwL.  This doesn't happen daily, but occasionally. 

I do thank everyone who reads Life with Lynnie.  For blessing me, supporting me, for lifting me up, encouraging me and letting me know that in some way, I've touched your lives, by opening up my life and my relationship with Christ.  May God bless you.


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Here I Am...

It was about 1:00 am, when I said 'goodnight' to myself. This morning, I was awake before my alarm was due to wake me!  If you've been following my blog, you'll know that it's only lately that I've been sleeping better (thank you for prayer!).  Actually, I felt really good physically when I got up, probably because I slept well. Praise God! Thank You, Jesus!

It didn't take long for that sadness I've been feeling again lately, to return. A Facebook (FB) friend of mine recently posted some songs by Air Supply.  One in particular struck my heart: Here I Am. Since I really enjoy their music, I shared the song with my friends. Pretty normal you say? Well, it is. However, after listening to the song again, it made me realize that I still am grieving my husband Gordon, who died just over 10 months ago.

For anyone not familiar with the song, here is a link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiyWVgIVbME

Ever since I listened to the song, I just cannot seem to get the lyrics out of my mind, for they truly describe how I feel. It seems that no matter how hard I try to be positive, keep myself busy and trust Jesus to help me through each day (which He does!), the reality is that I just don't feel any better about losing him, than I did when he first collapsed, was hospitalized and died.

I know.  I am managing better. But, inside, my heart is still breaking. I miss Gordon. I know I truly loved him and still do. Lord, please help me!  When will this pain leave me?!

Sonday, my Lord's Day, is supposed to be a rest day.  Well, it was and it wasn't.  You see, last evening, it was suggested to me by the creator of the FB page the Women's Bible Study group that I should probably become friends with all women who registered on the page, who aren't yet my FB friends.  The reason?  I have been made an administrator for the group.  There are several of us, for this group will be an on-line Bible study, for women.  While I am looking forward to this, it is something I have not done in the past.

In any case, I thought it was a good idea, since all these women could potentially be in the private chat room at the same time!  So, I took it upon myself to send friend requests to each woman, who was not already my friend.  Since there are 200+ women registered, this meant sending a lot of friendship invitations!  In fact, I never did finish getting through the list, because FB began sending me messages to stop spamming people, threatening to cancel me!  Oooooooeeeeee!!

This morning, before going to church to worship my Lord, I began seeing fruition from these requests.  In addition, there were 100+ suggestions for friendship; the FB system creates these!  No, I didn't send off requests!

However, even tonight, after spending the whole evening on FB, I am still trying to catch up on postings, mail etc., and am finding I have more FB friend requests than I can believe, also! 

Truly, I'm beginning to wonder how I'll be able to manage when I have 1,000+ friends, when I can hardly manage now, with just under 800 at the moment!  Anyway, I just looked at it, that God was keeping me busy, to keep my mind off Gordon.

Being Sunday, as I mentioned, I went to worship at my church.  Like normal on a Sunday, after worship, I went to the cemetary, to sit, talk, cry and pray.  It was very hot here (93F), so I didn't stay as long as I had hoped.

Still, God's timing is always perfect.  I managed to drop by my youngest daughter P's home for a couple of minutes, before heading over to the house I own, that I have listed for sale, to do an open house.

What a waste of time this was!  At least from a Realtor's point of view!  No one... I mean not one single person attended the open house.  And, people wonder why I say our market here is not good at the moment.  Normally, in the University of Windsor area, people are eager to purchase property, for student rental at this time of year.  Not so, this year.

In fact, I received an e-mail from the Toronto buyer I showed the home to the other day.  He's hoping to purchase the home for about half of the assessed value.  Lord!  I need You!  I need Your wisdom and guidance.  Father, I know you can give me the direction I need.  Although the price would be a disaster, it would relieve me from any stress of having a property I cannot physically handle.  Any/all prayer would be appreciated.  May God bless you, friends!

Actually, it was rather relaxing not being disturbed during my open house, for it gave me time to listen to Christian radio (preaching/teaching):  Chuck Swindoll:  Insight for Living, and other preachers, while I read my Bible.

Rather than go home in this low frame of mind, I left my open house a few minutes early and headed over to worship for a second (2nd) time, today.  Not at my own church, but with the small group where Pastor B has been church planting.  It raised my spirits, worshipping there, even though it is a very small group.  I felt blessed.  Thank You, Lord!

Well, it's now time to say 'goodnight'.  Thank you Father, for helping me through today.  Sleep well, my friends.  Hopefully, I will, too.  Goodnight!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Beautiful & Relaxing, But Lonely...




Last night, it was just after 1:30 am, when I called lights out.  Early, I suppose, compared to some other nights.  When I awoke today, I felt refreshed.  Thank You, Lord!

Even though it is Saturday, I had some real estate work to do; I managed to get it done and over with, early in the day.

To my surprise, I heard from my daughter B, yesterday.  While I still do not have a phone number to reach her, she did give me a phone number for her eldest son (my eldest grandson) T, who now lives in Ottawa.  Tomorrow, I'll make sure to call him.  It's been well over a year since I spoke/saw him.

Most of my day was spent relaxing, updating on my computer and on Facebook (FB), of course!  It's hard to believe that I, the person who thought I'd be lucky to have three (3) friends on FB, now has 710 friends!  Wow!

Truly, it is amazing.  Especially since I've had a few friends cancel me, due to not agreeing with some of my postings, which serve to open the eyes of people who may not be aware of the threat Islam and Sharia Law poses us, today.  This is a topic for another time.

The weather was beautiful, today.  Sunny, clear, not humid, but warm.  Nice.  Just the way I like it!  Again, thank You, Lord!

After making sure to do my stretching exercise, I went to the pool this afternoon.  A Saturday afternoon, is not usually the best time to go to the pool to do my aquafit programme, especially since it takes me usually 50-60 minutes to complete it.  The weekends are usually busy with families and friends visiting, so I try to go early in the day on Saturday, but today, I just could not fit it in.  So, I went this afternoon.

Ah, it was so-o beautiful and relaxing!  Actually, I was surprised at how few people were in the pool.  At one point in time, I was the only person!  However, just before I was completing my workout, several groups showed up.  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!  You provided for me, to get my workout done, before the pool got busy.  I'm blessed!

A few days ago, I took photos of our deck and pool area, but hadn't yet posted them for you to see, so I'm including them, today.  Enjoy!  Just so you know, my apartment view faces east.  The pool and deck is on the other side, the west side of the building.

I did get to visit with my neighbour/friend K, who joined me in the pool, just before I was ready to leave.  It's always nice being able to spend time with friends!  Especially, K!

As you can probably tell, I lead a very lonely, boring life.  I cannot remember the last time I sat at the table to eat a meal, for it hurts me to look over at emptiness, where Gordon used to sit.

This evening, I sat looking out at the beautiful view from my apartment.  Sailboats were on the river and lake.  The marinas and yacht club were alive with people coming and going.  I could even hear a bagpiper playing music, in the distance.  It seems everyone has a life, but me.

Oh well.  This is the way God would have it.  Me being alone and lonely on a Saturday night.  If it wasn't His will, I would have a life.  And, a love.


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com



Friday, August 27, 2010

Remembering Mom...




It was surprising to me that I slept well last night, but I truly did.  I awoke about an hour before my alarm was due to wake me.

Still, upon rising, I had a feeling of heaviness in my heart.  Today, is the eighth (8th) anniversary of my Mom's death.

Although I have forgiven the people involved, who contributed to my Mom's untimely death, I still have a huge sadness, whenever I think of her and how she died.  I would prefer to not go into detail, at this time.  It's enough to say that I don't know if I will ever get over the heartbreak of the circumstances surrounding her in her final days.  And, the heartbreak of finding out that it was totally unnecessary.

Gordon's Mom was like the kind of mom that we saw on television shows, like Leave it to Beaver, etc., for she was a loving, nurturing kind of person.  She was definitely saved, spoke of Jesus and loved Gordon.  It was easy to tell. 

My Mom loved me.  It wasn't always evident in what she said, did or how she treated us as children, but I know she did.

Mom grew up during the depression.  Her family was much better off than my Dad's family.  They lived on a farm for a while, so they were at least able to grow food.  Mom was one (1) of 13 children.  Some died at birth or shortly after, including a set of twins.

My Mom's father worked hard; he was a pipe-fitter, who eventually owned his own firm and worked on projects in Montreal like Place Ville-Marie.  My Mom's mother was a homemaker.  My grandparents were not born here in Canada, but had immigrated before their children were born.

I didn't know my grandparents well.  In fact, I hardly knew them at all.  This is probably a story for another time, for there had been a major falling-out between my parents and grandparents.  In fact, until I was about six (6) or seven (7) years old, I didn't even know I had family.  Any family, other than my parents and brother, B. 

However, I will say that when visiting with my grandparents, I was always told to sit and be quiet, for children were to be seen and not heard.  To say I didn't feel loved by them, is the truth.  The worst part for me, as an adult, was to realize that my Mom had been raised in this environment.  I always felt badly for my Mom, about this, for I realized that she had trouble showing her love, probably because she didn't receive a lot from her parents.

Consequently, my Mom was not the loving, nurturing type mother.  She had more of an attitude of an army sergeant than anything else.  Oh, but then, that might be partly due to the fact that she had been in the Canadian Women's Army Corp (CWAC).  Lucky me! 

Above, you'll see a photo of my Mom in her army uniform.  She was a beautiful looking woman, don't you think?  My Dad thought so.  I've posted a photo of him in his army uniform, also.  When I spoke of my Dad in January, I believe I was still having trouble posting photos, so I don't think I included one of him at that time.

As you may have read in the past, my parents didn't meet until they were repatriated to Canada.  My Dad served during WW2 overseas, in Europe.  Particularly, in the Normandy Invasion.  My Mom served in Washington, DC, USA.  On one visit to Washington, Gordon and I had the priviledge of viewing part of the building my Mom was housed in, within viewing distance of the White House.  While I know what my Dad did during the war, I don't know for certain what my Mom did.  She was very tight-lipped.  When she promised not to tell something, she didn't.  Her orders were to never tell army information; consequently, she never did.

Seriously, I may joke from time to time about my Mom's background and nature, but I sure loved her.  She taught me many things, including the fact that if anything is worth doing, it's worth doing right!

One of the fondest childhood memories I have of my Mom, is of doing dishes or other work around the house and singing, together.  I would usually sing the melody and she would sing harmony, although I can recall from time to time, reversing that.  Mom had a beautiful voice.

While living in Detroit, MI, USA as a child, Mom took me and my brother B, to church.  Rarely did my Dad ever attend church, claiming he didn't need to go to worship, when he could worship at home, or anywhere.  It was a Methodist church we worshipped at, where I first came to know of Jesus.  How I loved Him!  And, I still do!

Is my Mom in heaven?  I am trusting God that she is.  After my Dad died, my Mom refused to go to church or even talk about God.  Especially with me.  She knew I had become a born-again Christian.  In retrospect, I wonder if she even knew what that meant, for if she had, she wouldn't have been telling me to not discuss this with her.  After all, it was she and Sunday school who introduced me to Jesus.  Then again, she was angry at God for my Dad dying.

As I've said once or twice in entries:  God is a big God.  He can handle our anger.  I cling to the promise that once we are in the palm of His hand, we can never be removed.  Not my Dad, not my Mom, not me...or you.  Nothing can ever separate us from the love of God, in Christ Jesus (Romans 8).  Praise God for this!


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com


Thursday, August 26, 2010

All Things Are Possible...

Sleep arrived last night about 2:00 am.  I wish I could say I enjoyed a solid sleep, but for some reason I kept waking up.  Oh well, I'm so very tired tonight.  Hopefully, I'll sleep well.

For some reason, I have been extremely busy with work, this week.  Hopefully, it is due to a fall market beginning.  Our real estate board stats for July, here in Windsor, were deplorable.  Everything was in the red.  Meaning listings were down, sales were down and prices were down.  In fact, our stats were so-o bad that I wondered if we would even have a fall market.  Time will tell!

Even though I was rushed off my feet today, I made sure I did my stretching and pool exercise.  I've even been a good girl, by taking my sugar level readings again.  In case you didn't know, I am diabetic. 

Around Christmas time, I stopped taking my Metformin and stopped checking my sugar levels.  I know.  You're probably shocked.  Truly, at that time, I just felt like giving up.  Wishing God would take me home.

In addition, I decided that no matter how hard I tried to lose weight, I just couldn't seem to do it.  Truly, I believe the Metformin was preventing me from doing so, because my specialist had told me people even gain weight while taking this medication.  Since then, I have lost a few pounds.  Still lots more to go, but at least I'm on the right track.

Seriously, since God didn't take me home, I began feeling rather guilty about what I had done, so a couple of weeks ago, I began monitoring my sugar level, once more.  Not before and two (2) hours after a meal, like I had done, previously.  But, at least I was once again checking my sugar level!

To my surprise, I found my sugar level readings weren't bad, at all.  Not perfect, but shocking to me!  After all, when I was first diagnosed, my sugar level ranged between 23.0 and 28.0.  Ooooeeee!  Not good!  While part of me expected to see high readings like this once again, part of me kind of knew that I wouldn't see high levels.  Why would I think this?  Because, I haven't been feeling ill, like I was when I was first diagnosed.

That first week, when I began checking my levels once more, I ranged between 5.9 and 9.6.  Shocking to me!  I never expected them to be this low.  As I said, not perfect, but no different than they were when I was taking the Metformin.  Remember, these results are without medication.  Just me.  My body is once again functioning better!

A couple of days ago, I began my old routine of monitoring just before one meal per day, then retesting two (2) hours after.  I fully expected to see a sharp jump in my readings, but to my surprise, there has been on both days a 3.0 difference.  Again, not perfect, but great considering these readings are without medication!

My specialist keeps wanting my pre-meal reading to be between 4.0 - 5.0 and my two (2) hour after reading to be between 5.0 - 7.0.  I recall laughing when he told me this.  I thought he was hilarious!  In my dreams, I thought. 

You see, I once had a 3.9 reading and felt like I was going to pass out.  As I said, this happened only once.  I cannot imagine that a 4.0 reading is healthy for me.  Surely, an average standard is not good for everyone.  Personally, I don't believe a 4.0 reading would be healthy for me, after having a problem with a 3.9 reading.

When I see my specialist next month, I fully expect him to go ballistic, when he finds out I haven't been taking my medication.  Hopefully, the journal I'm keeping, showing my readings and what I am eating/drinking will show him that I am okay.  Time will tell!

I must admit, that when I decided to do this months ago, I prayed, put myself in God's hands and said, "Let His will be done".  Some might say it was foolish.  That's fine.  At the time, I didn't really care.

Now that I see that the Metformin did nothing for me, I am quite happy I made that decision.  I hate taking medication.

Years ago, I used to take 1,000 mg of Naprosyn, twice daily.  This was because of my Rheumatoid Arthritic condition:  Ankylosing Spondylitis and Fibromyalgia.  It ate my stomach and caused bowel problems.  I took myself off the drug.  To my surprise, I felt no difference.  It showed me that the drug didn't help me, at all. 

To help with my health, I began taking excellent quality vitamin and mineral supplements.  After a few months of doing this, I realized that I had not been ill in quite a while, instead of becoming ill at every change of season, etc.  Since then, I have enjoyed a mostly healthy life, not becoming ill with respiratory infections on a regular basis.  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!

God has blessed me.  I trust Him, with every fibre of my being.  He is the Great Physician, for whom all things are possible.  I know that no one could love me more than He.  I know that God is sanctifying me, to be more like His Son, Jesus Christ, every day.  I know that without Him, I cannot even take my next breath.

Even if things had not turned out this way, it would have been okay with me.  For me, to live is Christ and to die, is gain (Philippians 1:21).


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Husbands...

My lamp went out about 2:30 am, after reading my Bible for a while.  When my alarm went off this morning, I didn't really want to get up, but I did.  I knew I had quite a bit to do, today.

One of the reasons I was so-o tired and achy this morning, was because of all the work I had done from Monday evening, through yesterday evening, preparing and hosting (not to mention clean up, as well) my Gals Day Luncheon I wrote about in yesterday's entry.

In fact, today I hardly felt like exercising.  Just the thought of doing my stretching exercise and pool exercise made me cringe.  What else can someone expect though, after doing all that work. 

It may not seem like much to some people, but to me, a person with Ankylosing Spondylitis (a rare Rheumatoid Arthritis) and Fibromyalgia, it's asking a lot!  I hurt!  Bones and soft tissue!  Help, Lord!

Did the pain stop me?  No.  Why not?  Because I'm tenacious.  I don't give up, easily.  I did all my exercise, today.  I'm persistant when I am convinced I need to do something.  I'm not a quitter.

There was a time in my life when I felt like I was a real loser; a quitter.  That was when my first marriage ended.  While I have no intention of bad-mouthing my ex-husband, it was no secret that he never really loved me.  In fact, I was told regularly, that his parents came first, then his children, then the rest of his family and friends, that somewhere down the chain, at the bottom, was me.  This relationship, if I can call it that, was an ungodly one.  For it was opposite to what God commanded in Genesis 2:24, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh".  I assure you, we were not one flesh.

As I've said many times, Gordon was my second chance at happiness.  I was happy, mostly.  I was glad he put his past behind him, repented of his sin and returned to God.  So had I.  As you know, it didn't last nearly long enough, for he's gone now, in heaven with Jesus and I am once again, alone.

Lately, I've been hearing from some of my friends that I shouldn't focus on this.  That I should realize that I will probably remarry.  I have my doubts if this will ever happen, because I cannot even think in these terms, especially knowing I am still grieving.  However, I also know that if it is God's will, it will happen.

Of the seven (7) women who met yesterday for lunch, there were only two (2) of us, who are not married.  My neighbour/friend K, who is a widow and myself.  Everyone else who attended, has been married for many years, with the exception of my friend A, who was divorced a few years ago, has since remarried and has been blessed with a beautiful child.

Even if I was ready for re-marriage, which I am not, one of the reasons I feel I probably will not ever remarry, is because I don't think I will ever find someone, suitable.

Okay.  Don't laugh.  It's not funny, really.  I believe it would be extremely difficult to find someone suitable to marry, if not impossible.

What I mean is that it would be like finding a needle in a haystack.  Not only is it difficult the older we age, to find someone we can love, but it's just as difficult finding the right person, who will love you, back.  If I were to marry again, the man would have to truly love me and I, him.

In addition, the person would have to be a believer.  In 2Corinthians 6:14, God's Word tells us, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"

Is a believer yoked with an unbeliever the only way to be unequally yoked?  It's hard to say.  Many couples have very good marriages, even if they are both believers, but have differing beliefs, regarding Christian doctrine.  I'm not sure I could handle that.  In my heart, I believe I would want a man who was on the same page, so to speak, because I believe it would not only create stress in the relationship, but knowing that the husband is the head of the household and the spiritual leader, I would find it difficult to live with someone who didn't believe the way I do.

Yes, you heard me right.  The husband is the head of the household.  This does not mean that the wife is a slave.  Husbands and wives are each two (2) halves, who when put together, become one whole, as we read above in Genesis 2:24.  Still, if there is final decision to be made on something, the husband is responsible to God, for the decision.

This means to me, that I would not want to be unequally yoked.  After all, you cannot follow a parked car.  If a man were to be my husband, they would have to love me as God called him to in Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;...".

I believe people can be unequally yoked in other things, concerning daily life.  Likes, dislikes, etc.  Compatibility is everything, in making a marriage work.

For instance, I am not a drinker.  No, I am not a prude.  I just don't really like drinking and I know it is not good for me.  That doesn't mean that I have never had a drink, but I don't make a regular habit of it.  If I do have a drink, it is usually at a special function or a special dinner.  Other than that, I just don't drink alcoholic beverages.  Besides, as a child and as an adult, I've seen and experienced life with someone who drinks too much.  Never, again.  So, if I were to remarry, the man would have to think the same way I do and not be a regular drinker.

So, you see, there really aren't many men out there, who would be a suitable match for me, who would love me the way I would love him.  Especially since we would both have to put God first in our lives, then each other, family, etc. 

Now you know why I feel like I'm a condemned person, condemned to live alone, lonely and without love.  Thank God for Jesus.  Without him, I couldn't stand life.


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Gals Day Luncheon

It was another one of those short nights.  Once again, I awoke about an hour before my alarm was due to wake me.  It wouldn't be a bad thing, had I had a full night's sleep, but last night was one of those nights when I got to bed rather late.  Not because I couldn't sleep, but rather because I was preparing for today's luncheon.

If you've been reading, you'll know that I actually began preparing on Sunday, when I did the shopping to prepare for today's luncheon. 

Originally, it was planned for nine (9) people, including me.  However, one friend called to let me know she couldn't make it after all.  Plus, my friend A, who was going to bring her Mom, couldn't.  Why?  Because her Mom flew home to Jamaica, this morning.  When she let me know she would attend, it was thought that she may change her ticket, but in the end, she didn't.  Around the time when we were enjoying time together, A's Mom was arriving in Jamaica.  It was a sad day for A, to say the least.  May God lift you and your Mom up, encourage you and give you peace.

In addition to A, there was K, my friend from across the hall.  Then, there was W and F, who both worship with me at my church.  Friends K and A, both worship at Harrow Baptist Church.  So, including me, we were a total of seven (7), today.

The reason I didn't get to sleep early last night, was because I began preparing food for today's luncheon.  When I got up this morning, I thought I had a lot of time to complete preparations and set up, but as is sometimes the case, I found out that Murphy is alive and well.

I called my neighbour/friend K, to let her know I would be taking my coolers down to the cabana/bbq area to set up for our meal after our swim.  K let me know that the cabana was being worked on.  I cannot see it from my apartment, because my view is East and overlooks the lighthouse, while hers faces West and overlooks the pool/bbq deck.  K suggested I go take a look.  To my dismay, unknown to either of us, part of the cabana was being dismantled.  NO!!  Not today! 

When I called the office, our president elect answered the phone, because our manager was busy.  She confirmed that it was being rebuilt and resurfaced to blend in with the decor of the other amenities on the deck.  Great!  She suggested we could sit at a couple of benches as an alternative, but the Lord put this on my mind:  since the weather was not as warm as was previously forecast, I asked if it would be okay for us to use the party room, which can be accessed on the same level as the pool and bbq.  I was given approval, so I quickly went to get the key for the unit.  Phew!  Thank You, Lord!  Once again, You came to my rescue!

Once we all gathered, we got into our swimsuits and headed off to the pool.  It is a heated pool, so even if the air is slightly cooler than what we like it to be, it is easy to enter.  We had a great time chatting, making use of the pool.  Everyone was using a noodle to help them float and move around the pool.  Everyone but me.  I don't use them.  Some of the women who had not been in the pool with me before, were shocked that I float, even in the deep end, without treading water or making any movements to assist me.  I just float.  I figure some might say it is all that hot air I have in me!

Of course, getting out of the pool, when the breeze is cool is not a pleasure!  lol  We all managed to get dried off quickly, before heading into the party room, for lunch.

We feasted on potato salad, pasta salad, green salad, various veggies, tomatoes, cheeses and BBQ'd steak.  For dessert, we enjoyed yogurt and fresh fruit.  Hopefully, all enjoyed the meal as much as I did.

A & F had to leave immediately after the meal.  F had driven A.  A had to get home to meet up with her husband K, so they could go over to Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, USA.  One of K's previous co-workers, a retired woman he had been close to like a mother/son relationship, had a daughter who had been killed by her spouse.  They needed to go to the funeral home.  What a sad day it had been for A.  Her Mom leaving.  Attending a funeral home for someone who was murdered by a spouse.  Actually, I just hung up from speaking with A.  She told me that our gals day luncheon was a perfect relief, for her very stressful day.  Praise God!

My neighbour/friend K took off, for she had to meet with her sister.  However, W, A & K stayed with me until about 5:00 pm, in the party room.  We enjoyed conversations about travelling, especially to Ireland, for A had been there, also.  But, no one was left out.  In addition to speaking of travelling, we spoke of many things together, including the Lord.

I've included a photo of my six (6) friends who shared our gals day luncheon.  In the back row (left to right):  W, (neighbour/friend) K, A & K.  In the front row (left to right):  F & A.

I'm grateful.  God has blessed me with good Christian friends.  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com

Monday, August 23, 2010

Angry with God...

This morning, I once again awoke before my alarm went off.  The difference is, I did not get to sleep at an early hour.  It was after 2:30 am, before my internal lights went out.  So much, for normalcy.  Well, time will tell.  I am hoping to once again, have a normal sleep/rest schedule.

While reading the Windsor Star this morning, I saw that Randy Travis had entertained at Caesars Windsor, our local gambling mecca.  While Gordon and I did not patronize the casino, from time to time we had thought about going to see an entertainer, but we never did. 

It seems that this infernal sadness I feel when I think of Gordon, is not limited to thinking about what we did, but expands itself to thinking of what we didn't do.  Like going to see Randy Travis.

There was a time when we thought about flying out to California and while there, going to see Randy Travis in concert and where he worshipped, as he used to advertise to come worship with him at church.  At the moment, I cannot recall why we decided against making the trip, but the end result was that we did not go. 

Now, I feel badly, for I know Gordon truly loved Randy's music.  Hopefully, I am not going to be filled with regret, from here on.  Every time something new pops up in my mind, my mind knows it must just be another facet of grief, but my heart breaks.  In fact, in just writing this I have tears running down my face.  Lord, help me, please!  Who can live like this? 

In our humanness, we all go through grief when we lose someone we love. 

I've experienced grief, before.  Most of us have.  My parents and grandparents have all passed on, as have other family members and even some friends.  Most recently, as you know, my baby brother Glenn, died July 1st, this year.

The grief I experienced with each one, wasn't pleasant, but was tolerable.  Even though I am grieving Glenn, I can think on him lovingly, recalling good and bad times, together.  I can accept the fact that he's gone.  That Glenn's in heaven with Jesus, Gordon and others.  I can be happy that he's healed, no longer suffering, especially with his disabilities.  And, I can even look forward to seeing him again, once I've gone to heaven.

But, this grief I feel about Gordon is different.  It's more intense.  Deeper feelings.  Deeper hurts.  Is it because he was truly my soul mate?  Is it because of the severe trial both of us suffered, before Gordon's death?  Sometimes, I even have regrets.  Especially, when I think of the health care he drastically needed, but couldn't get.  Knowing that I did all I could for him, doesn't seem to help.  It just supports my feelings that we live in an uncaring world, geared more to living for 'self' than for God and Godly principles.  I call it Opposite World.

While driving alone today, even though I was working, I found I was very upset.  In the past, for a very long time, I kept feeling like I wasn't really angry with God.  Then for a time, I began to wonder.  Today, I knew for sure that I am angry with God. 

God was in control of Gordon's life, even if Gordon's life was out-of-control.  God didn't cause his ill health, nor the subsequent trials that ensued.  But, no one can deny that God could have healed him, had it been His will.  Why didn't He heal Gordon?  Why did He take him home?  Why am I having to suffer like this?

I cried out to God to help me; literally.  My God is a big God.  I know He can handle anything I can dish out.  The question has already been answered for me, for I am definitely having trouble what He has ordained for my life.

Because I attended grief counselling a few months ago, I know that this is a sign of progress, even if it doesn't sound like it is.  It is.  I praise God for this, for I know that unless I experience this, I can never fully reach acceptance of Gordon's death.  Thank You, Lord.

Some people hate hearing about my grief and my life experiences.  Others tell me it helps them through whatever they are experiencing, whether it is grief or some other type problem. 

In any case, I am grateful that from time to time, I receive feedback, whether positive, or not.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Unplanned Blessings!

Well, this morning something happened that was a little bit good and a little bit disturbing.  lol  I opened my eyes, planned to turn over and go back to sleep, but couldn't.  It was about an hour before my alarm clock was due to wake me up!  What's happening to me! :-))  Next thing you know, I'll be getting on a pattern of becoming normal!  Going to bed at a regular time and getting up, at a regular time!  Hmmm...  Interesting concept.

Today is Sonday.  You know what this means!  It's worship day at church.  I love to meet with my brothers and sisters in the Lord, especially for worship time.  Today, was no exception.

Prior to leaving for church, I tried to go on-line to print off some flyers for the open house I thought I was going to be hosting, today.  For some reason, I couldn't access my real estate board site, so I wasn't able to make and print off the flyers.

It was early, but when I called my real estate partner/friend C, to let him know I couldn't print the flyers, he was up.  C said he would try to access our board site and create the flyers, himself.  During our discussion, it came to light that C didn't think I was going to co-host the open house at all; he thought he was doing the open house, alone. 

Hmmm...  Wonderful!  We confirmed that he never expected me to participate, today.  I was in seventh heaven!  Truly, I do not like to work on my Lord's day, but do so because I have to do what I have to do, sometimes!

Of course, not being able to access my board site means I cannot do ANY computer work, until I contact the board and/or the provider, on Monday. Hopefully, there is not some major problem, for as most of you are aware, we all need to work!

There was another reason I was happy about not having to work, today.  It's because on Tuesday, about 11:00 am, I'll be entertaining and feeding a group of women.  As far as I know currently, there will be nine (9) of us, who will jump into the pool for some time of fun and relaxation.  Hopefully, the weather will participate!

When I went to bed last night, I wondered when I would find time to go shopping for all the food I will be preparing for Tuesday's fun gathering.  The Lord provided!  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!  You made a way for me to be able to go shopping for all I need for the BBQ luncheon.

No.  I don't usually entertain on a work day.  But, Tuesday will be an exception. 

Originally, one friend who shall remain nameless, was experiencing some family problems (don't we all, at one time or another?).  A mutual friend, who I enjoyed fellowship time with at my church recently, suggested the three (3) of us get together for lunch one day. 

My friend with the problem works usually Monday and Friday.  Weekends are a busy time for her, so that wasn't an option.  A suppertime gathering for the women wouldn't work too well, for they have husbands and/or families to provide meals for, so Tuesday at lunchtime worked well.

Our mutual friend, also has a long-time friend who I am also friends with.  (Confused yet?)  In fact we both worship at the same church.  Anyway, it was suggested that maybe she could get together with us.  Since this friend said she would love to join us, this made four (4) of us.

Well, this fourth (4th) woman and I usually get together with three (3) other women.  I thought if we leave them out, I wouldn't feel good about it.  So, I invited the three (3) other women.  One said she'd like her Mom to come with her; this makes so far a total of eight (8).  But wait!  I'm only supposed to have four (4) guests at the pool.  No problem.  I invited another friend that I originally had hoped to invite.  My friend K, from across the hall.  This means that we can share the guest total!  So, even though there are going to be nine (9) of us on Tuesday, only seven (7) are guests, so we are within our limit.  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!

In any case, I did the shopping I needed to do and went to the cemetary, where I sat at Gordon's grave side, for a while in my lawn chair.  Boy, it sure is hard to visit someone who cannot respond when you ask a question.  Sorry.  I suppose this was my poor attempt at humour.  Seriously, it's horrible sitting at the grave of your other half.  It feels like punishment, even though I know it's not.

Because I shopped til I dropped, I decided to use one of the shopping carts that we OWN at our building (not stolen from stores; we have our own name on them).  Murphy was still alive and well, today.  No carts available for me!  But, my friend K, who will be joining in the fun on Tuesday, finished using a cart and graciously gave it to me to use.  Thank you, K!

There's something else I need to thank K for.  A few hours later, she called me and asked if I had made dinner.  I replied that I had not.  She said she was happy I hadn't, because she was bringing me a plate of supper.  Bless her heart.  She handed me a plate of delicious looking roast beef with gravy, wax beans, bread/butter and mashed potatoes.  Thank you, K!  Your gift to me was as delicious as it looked!  May God bless you, for your kindness.

Even though the day I thought I had planned, changed somewhat, it turned out to be a pretty good day.  The only thing that could have made it better, would be to have someone here with me, who loves me.  My other half.


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com

Saturday, August 21, 2010

New Life...

When I say I slept like a log last night, I mean like a log!  In fact, I slept so soundly that I don't recall stirring, even once, until morning.  A whole six (6) hours!  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!

Today, was a very busy day for me, regarding work.  It seemed like I never stopped, right into the evening.  I didn't count on this.  In fact, I was hoping to get some housework done, today.  Oh well, it will just have to wait.  After all, it's not going anywhere and it won't clean itself, so I don't have to worry.  It'll be there when I'm able to do it.

The only break I had today, was in early afternoon.  After my real estate partner/friend C helped me install a For Sale sign, we went to lunch, together.  Actually, I am truly grateful he was with me today, for I would not have been able to have installed that sign myself, for the ground was so-o hard (even though it was raining), that C even had trouble putting the sign on the lawn.  Thank you C.  Hopefully, being treated to lunch was reward enough, along with my thanks!

Around suppertime, I had a call from the people who almost made an offer on my home this week.  They have an out-of-town friend visiting and was hoping I would show them the home.  I did. 

Time will tell.  Wish me luck!  Realistically, it's not luck I need.  I just need God to will that a buyer will make an offer on the property.  In His time...

For me, the worst part of having to go over to the house, is that I cannot stop seeing Gordon, when I'm there.  Lord, please stop this cruel, hurtfulness.  Provide for me, please.  I'm trusting You.

It wasn't until mid evening, when I finally got home and found time to do my stretching exercise and pool exercise.  Combined, I spend approximately 1 1/4 - 1 1/2 hours per day, six (6) days per week, exercising.  I should be a skinny-mini by now, but I'm not!  Lord!  Help!

While I was in the pool, that terrible sadness came over me, once again.  Well, this was the first time I had been in the pool in the evening, since Gordon died.  In fact, before he died, it was usually evening when I had pool time, not like I've been doing this year.  His corner was empty.  It made me miss him, terribly.

You know what I need?  I need either the Lord to take me home, to be with him in heaven, or I need a new life.  As long as I keep missing Gordon, seeing him everywhere I go, I'll just keep feeling like I'm dying inside, without really dying.

Talking about a new life...  Early last evening (Friday), I met my friend J and her brother J at my church parking lot.  Every third (3rd) Friday of every month, J's Dad and/or her two brothers travel to Detroit.  They help out at New Life Rescue Mission in Detroit, by providing a short worship service, before guests are fed a meal.

Last evening was no different, except that J and I were with her brother.  J played the piano, we opened in prayer and then we sang a hymn.  Then J's brother introduced me and I sang (acapella) for the group of men.  Afterwards, J's brother gave a short sermon and gospel message.  We closed in prayer.

As we left, the (between 30 - 40) men were lined up to receive their food.  They must have been hungry, for they seemed to be in a hurry.  May God bless each one.

It makes me sad, to see this.  Especially knowing that these men have very little in this life.  In fact, these men won't just eat their meal at the mission, but will sleep there, overnight.  If they cannot claim space on one of the pews that fill the old, decrepit grocery store so badly in need of repair, then they sleep on the floor.  Most had all their worldly goods with them.

This was not the first time I had been there.  Gordon and I, plus Gordon's friend B, my friend J and her family did a similar service one Christmas night. 

As per normal for me, when I thought of the fact that this was my first time there, without Gordon, it brought back memories and I was saddened.  I praise God, He granted me my prayer request, that I would not cry and make a fool of myself, while there.  Thank You, Lord.

Afterwards, the three of us went to dinner, together.  While we didn't go to my favourite Mexican restaurant, we went to a favourite place of J's brother:  Mexican Village restaurant.  The food was good, as was the fellowship time we enjoyed!  Thank you and may God bless you J, for treating us to dinner!  Next time, it's my turn.

So, you see, I realize that I am not alone in this world, for I have God with me.  Those poor men at the mission, don't have anyone or they wouldn't be in the position they find themselves in, daily...or should I say, nightly. 

Please pray for them.  Pray for homeless people, everywhere.  Pray for all who need to come to know Jesus.  May you be blessed for it.


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com

Friday, August 20, 2010

Such is Life!

OOOOooooooeeeeee!  I had a great sleep, last night!  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus! 

My phone rang early.  My friend T called before she was on her way to work.  We had a not-so-short conversation, lasting about an hour!  Still, even after ending our conversation, the clock did not yet read 9:00 am.

After doing all the things I needed to do today, I made sure I did my stretching exercise.  Afterwards, I went to the pool and did my pool exercise.  Today, I added one more exercise to my routine.  It seemed to work well, so I will be making sure I include this new movement into my usual work-out.

Due to having many things to write about, I really haven't let you know what happened with the buyers I was supposed to receive an offer from, on my property near University of Windsor.

Well, as I wrote the other day, we met at the house on Tuesday.  Always being prepared (lol!), I made sure I brought the paperwork required to make the offer in writing.  Usually, ahead of time, buyers tell me what they want to offer in price on a property, plus we discuss and decide on terms, before I write up an offer.

This situation is a little bit different in nature.  Why?  Because I am not just the Realtor, I am also the owner.  The buyers preferred discussing everything in person, before writing up the paperwork, so as I said, we met at the house.

After taking one more look, the buyers and I sat down in the kitchen, to discuss things.  Just as we were getting to the meat of the situation, the husband explained to me that they have decided to not move into the home and have a student or two share the property.  Instead, their updated plan was to not move in, at all.  The property would be rented to University of Windsor students, only.  This sounded fine with me.  After all, once they own the property, it's theirs to do with as they wish!

Oh yes, there was one more thing.  Apparently, between a couple of the many looks they had at my house, the buyers had made an offer on the property located almost across the street.  Okay, I thought.  Where's this leading?  I asked them if they had signed a Buyer's Agency Agreement; I had asked them previously, but it seemed that circumstances may have changed.  They replied, they had not.  Good; things were looking okay!

Apparently, the seller did not accept the offer this couple made on the property.  From what they told me, the owners are not here, but are in the Caribbean, at this time.  The owner's Realtor apparently presented the terms of their offer by phone and not by fax.  So, they had received a verbal response, letting them know that the owners were not going to accept their offer.

Whoa!  Wait a minute, here!  Red flag!  Red flag!

I asked if they had received a copy of their offer back, striked out and marked 'REFUSED' or 'NOT ACCEPTED' written on it, notifying the buyers that the offer was dead (ended).  Their reply was...no.  My next question was:  When had made their offer irrevocable til?  They replied until Wednesday

Okay.  No problem, was my response.  We can just wait, to make sure the seller didn't change their mind(s) about accepting the offer.

The buyers wanted to proceed with an offer on my property, making it conditional upon the other offer dying.  Yes, we could have done this, but knowing the time period involved would only be one day, it didn't make sense to me to do this.  After all, we are not in a hot market here!  In fact, if it gets any colder, I may just go away on holidays and forget working for a while!  Besides, why go to all the effort of negotiating price and terms, plus completing the now expanded paperwork, on an unsure situation?  Better to just wait, I believed.

In the end, we agreed to meet on Thursday, to ensure the buyers would not be compromising themselves, by having accepted offers on two properties.  Then, the husband began to mention pricing.  His inference was he was planning to make a very low offer.  We agreed to discuss it on Thursday.

Well, on Thursday, I went to the house to meet the buyers at the pre-arranged time.  At first, I thought they were late.  Then, I decided to call them.  Apparently, the owner(s) of the property almost across the street from mine, had changed their minds.  The paperwork was sent to them and was finalized.  The buyers had bought their property.

As you can imagine, I wasn't too happy.  Not just because the buyers purchased another property and not mine, not just because our real estate market has dropped drastically, providing fewer and fewer buyers, but also because they didn't even have the courtesy to call me and cancel our appointment to meet to make the offer.

Oh well.  Such is life.  This is not the first time this has ever happened to me.  It's happened occasionally with properties I have listed for sale, but this was a first for me, concerning my own property.

Dear heavenly Father, I know You are in control of everything.  You alone know the plans you have for me/us, plans to prosper me/us and not harm me/us, to give me/us hope and a future.  You know I trust in You, alone.  I pray it is Your will to provide a buyer for this property, in the near future.  I realize nothing is impossible for you.  Help me to be patient and wait upon You, for You love me, care for me and take care of me, always.  I ask this in Jesus' precious name and thank You, in advance.  Amen.


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com

Thursday, August 19, 2010

To God Alone, Be The Glory!



Last night, sleep was almost as elusive as a couple of nights ago. I'm not sure exactly why I didn't get to sleep until close to 4:30 am, but I can tell you that I was exhausted when I awoke just after 7:30 am to my phone ringing. To make matters worse, my approximately three (3) hours sleep wasn't solid. Only God knows for sure how many times I woke up, but to me, it felt like dozens!

In today's Windsor Star, there was an article about today being the anniversary of the Dieppe Raid in France, Aug. 19, 1942. The other day, I read an article about a monument that will be installed, here in Windsor, that is a twin to the monument that is displayed in Dieppe, France in the park designated to honour the Canadian participation.

As you know, the raid was not successful. As the Windsor Star reported, 5000+ Canadians left England, arriving on the shores of Dieppe, France shortly after 5:00 am. About 2,200 of these men returned. 907 were killed. Nearly 2,000 were taken Prisoner of War. Including, Gordon's Uncle Johnny, who was a member of Windsor's Essex & Kent Scottish Regiment. The Essex Scottish, as they are commonly known, suffered one of the biggest losses of al the assault groups: only 51 of the 553 members to hit the beach were evacuated and 121 were killed in action.

While I never met Uncle Johnny, I have heard about his life. He was never the same. It always amazes me when I hear people make remarks like, well at least the person lived through it. I wonder. Did they really? Who was better off? The person who died and hopefully was trusting in Christ and went to be with Him, in heaven...or...the person who survived, only to be forever changed by the experience and suffer throughout the remainder of their life? Like Uncle Johnny did.

Gordon and I visited Dieppe, France in the summer of 2000. Above, you'll see some photos. One is taken at the retaining wall on the edge of the promenade, showing the cliffs on the left and the beach on the right.  Another is of the park honouring Canada for it's effort in it's failed attempt to liberate Europe during the raid.  In that park, you'll see a monument honouring Canadians (yes, that's Gordon's back you see!); it's twin is the monument being installed here in Windsor, today.  And, the last photo is taken from atop of a German bunker buried into the upper level of the cliffs overlooking the beach.

When we walked the beach, we found it was difficult to negotiate, for the beach is not a sand beach, but rather a stone beach. From the tide action, the stones are smooth and slippery. We could only imagine how difficult it was for the Canadians who landed here, to try to get ashore. They weren't like us, empty-handed, except for travel equipment like a camera. No, they were burdened down, carrying on their backs many pounds worth of equipment.

How anyone survived the massacre that happened at Dieppe, is beyond me. Only by God's grace. 

At that time, USA, Canada and UK, the major players of the Allied Forces were considered to be Christian nations. Look at us, now. President Obama declared recently that USA is no longer a Christian nation, Islam is taking over in many countries as the fastest growing religion. In Barking, England, a group of Christians were having a rally, when a group of Muslims showed up, destroying the Christian groups activities, and as I saw on a YouTube clip, the Muslims were in support of their Islamic brotherhood throughout the middle east who bring terror to many in today's world.

Today's Windsor Star also printed a short news item on their World news page. I've reprinted it, with thanks to the Windsor Star:

GADHAFI'S SON TO HONOUR TERRORIST
TRIPOLI, Libya - Col. Moammar Gadhafi's son has arranged for 500 youths from around the world to fly to Tripoli to celebrate the first anniversary of the release of the Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed.

© Copyright (c) The Windsor Star


I realize there are some who believe that by me discussing issues such as these, that I am being unChristian-like. In fact, I lost a friend a few days ago, due to my friend believing that we as Christians should never say anything that some might consider hurtful to another human being, even if it is the truth. I feel sorry for my friend, for feeling this way. Jesus is all about truth. But then, this is a topic for another time.

Also a topic for another time, is a discussion about meeting friends on Facebook that are not what they seem to be. Tune in!

In closing, I can only say that whether or not you agree with me, I believe that we are truly at war. Not a war in the typical sense, but a religious war. And, I believe I now have proof (topic for another time).  Many are blind to this. May God open their eyes. And, may many people come to know Christ once they realize the truth, for their eternity rests on it. This will only happen by the grace of God.  To Him alone, be the glory!


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail: lifewithlynnie@gmail.com

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A Future?

As you can imagine, after being awake almost all night the night before last, I slept like a log last night.  Thank You, Lord!

To say I was busy today is an understatement.  Still, I wish it was productive!  In order to be productive, we sometimes have loads and loads of unproductive work to do, first.  Like today.

For those who don't know, our Canadian government has bound us Realtors with Fintrac Legislation, that requires us to be face-to-face with customers/clients, take their identification and generally review the situation.  If we believe there may be a third party involved in a transaction, there are more forms.  If we believe there may be illegal activity involved (money laundering, etc.), we must report it.  If we worked with a party to a transaction, who was found by the government to be involved in illegal activity, and if the government feels we should have recognized it and reported it and didn't, we are subject to penalties of fines and/or imprisonment.  Lucky, eh!!

Well, the problem arises when we have non-face-to-face customers/clients to work with.  Today, took up most of my time, with a situation of this sort.  Yes, Gordon!  It almost makes me want to retire!  Help me, Lord!  Please!

In any case, I did my due diligence with regards to my in pool and out of pool exercise, today.  I took photos that I will post another time.  Since I haven't yet reviewed them, I hope they turned out, okay.

Last night, I spoke with my friend J.  Our telephone conversation was a very normal one, of about an hour in length.  J mentioned me being single, during our conversation.  I never think of myself as such, but the reality is, that since Gordon is dead, I am single, once more.  I mentioned that I don't think I'll ever be happy enough to even consider another relationship, again in the future.

You may or may not know that J's family worshipped in the same church family as Gordon's family, so they all knew each other, from years ago.  During our conversation, the subject of Gordon's grandfather came up.  You see, Gordon's grandfather William had quite a reputation, for he had been married three (3) times.

Eons ago, William had been dating Mary.  Mary fully expected to marry Gordon's grandfather William, because they dated for several years.

Mary invited William to accompany her on a family reunion.  The reunion was held on Boblo Island, just across from Amherstburg.  To be expected, Mary proudly introduced William to all her family, including her cousin Angela.

William fell in love with Angela, at first sight.  He dropped Mary, like a hot potato and shortly after, married Angela, who was Gordon's grandmother.  I can only imagine the kinds of family problems this created.

While Gordon was a child, his grandma Angela died.  William was very lonely.  He met up with a woman he fell for and married her.  William called Louise, Lou and they thought they would live happily ever after.  It didn't work out that way, for at a later date that I am not sure of, Lou died.

William found himself very lonely, once more.  At some point in time, he heard through the grapevine that Mary was alone, too.  He contacted her.  They corresponded for quite a while.  It wasn't as easy back then, as it is, today.  No internet, cell phones, etc.  So, they mailed each other letters and notes.  They had the odd conversation by phone.

Truly, I do not know if Mary had become widowed or if she was divorced, but after having a family of six children with her husband, he left her.  She had raised her children, alone.  Like William, she was lonely.

I suspect that Mary had never stopped loving William, even though he had broken her heart many years, earlier.  Eventually, they married.  They became the loves of each other's lives.  Gordon told me Mary was the only woman who ever called his grandfather 'my Bill'.  It turned out to be the greatest love of all, for both of them.

J reminded me that I could possibly have a happy ending, too.  After all, if Gordon's grandfather could do it, so could I.

The difference is, that I am not William.  I am Lynn.  Lynn that has never been quite self-assured when it came to relationships.  Lynn, who through most of her life believed that no one could love her.  Lynn, who only seemed to have relationships with men that were a disaster, beginning with her father, progressing with young men who seemed attracted to her, but never really let her know she was truly loved.  One in particular.  Then a husband and a marriage that didn't work out.  No, I won't go into detail, here.

Then Gordon came along.  He changed my whole life.  I know he loved me.  I loved him.  I still do.  But, he's dead.  Gone.  He'll never be back.

Now, I sit here alone.  Lonely.  Suffering in pain and sorrow.  Trying to gain some sense of order in my life.  Trying to figure out how to carry on.  Pretending I'm okay, when I'm truly not.  Taking each day as it comes.  Trusting my Lord, to help me through day by day, hour by hour and sometimes even minute by minute.  No plans for the future, for I cannot see any future in sight.  No reason to really go on.  Just trusting God that He has a plan somehow, somewhere, for me, as He promised He does. 

And, wishing I knew what it was.


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

More Love & Support...

Sleep last night was almost non-existent.  In fact, I don't think I had more than just a few minutes sleep, thoughout the entire night.

No, I wasn't upset over anything.  Yes, I was thinking a lot, about the house I have over near the University of Windsor.  I know.  I don't usually talk about my work; at least not very often.  This is a little different, though.

Late last evening, I had a call from buyers I had shown this property to, twice.  If you recall, it is a home I personally own, now that Gordon is no longer here on earth.  They wanted to meet with me today, to make an offer.

Anyone who has purchased or sold property in recent times, knows there is a tremendous amount of paperwork that needs to be done, in order to satisfy government requirements, now.  So, I spent a fair amount of time preparing.

Today, we met at the pre-arranged time, at the house.  I arrived early.  Sitting in the livingroom, this overwhelming feeling of sorrow overcame me, to the point where I cried like a baby.  Even though I could physically move into this home, it's not something I personally want to do.

Everywhere I looked, all I could see was Gordon.  Blinds he hung, floorings he installed, wallpaper he hung.  You name it, I saw it.  I began to question if I should sell; maybe I should move into the home.  I prayed about it.  And, thought about it.

I called my friend A.  We pray together, often.  Today, I asked her to pray for me, for my buyers were due to arrive, momentarily.  She agreed to do this.

When they arrived, they once again looked at the house, explained to me that they changed their mind about living in the home and have decided they would rather rent it to University of Windsor students.  After some discussion, it became evident that the offer and paperwork would have to wait until Thursday, due to an obligation on their part.

At first, I was kind of glad, for this melancholy feeling was still with me.  Part of me doesn't want to let go.  Not just because our real estate market is so-o poor at the moment, that values in the area have dropped drastically over the last year, but mainly because of Gordon. 

After praying about this, I was reminded that when I listed it for sale for him, just a short time before he collapsed and died, his desire was to have it sold, no matter the price.  He no longer wanted investment property.  I know I cannot handle physically any work on any property, so if I were to keep it, it would be an expensive proposition having to hire help, whenever needed.

Reality set in.  Maybe it's because I was no longer in the home, but on my way home.  I decided that when the offer is made, I shouldn't look back.  Just negotiate and God will do the rest.

Father, You are such an awesome God.  I know you have my best interests at heart.  You are in control of all things.  I thank you for providing someone of interest for the property.  I pray it is Your will for this home to be sold.  I pray You will lift me up, encourage me through this heartbreaking transaction.  If it is Your will, I ask that negotiations be quick and simple, so as to not cause me any more pain or sorrow than necessary.  I thank You for always being there for me.  I pray You will bless the buyers, by making this a good investment for them.  Help me Lord, to deal with my thoughts about how this feels like I'm disposing part of Gordon.  I ask this in Jesus' precious name.  Amen.

As I mentioned in yesterday's entry, in addition to the comments I received from my my upsetting status, I also received the following messages/e-mails (no names have been used):

* ...just read your blog and I always find it so interesting and fun. Yes, I said fun. I know you are going through a lot with your husband passing away, but you have no idea how much you help me. ...Since I have known you, I have found encouragement in your words. God has used you so many times to lift my spirits. He has let me into a little glimpse of your life and shown me how to deal with it all. ...You keep writing and posting and just being you. You help others in ways you have no idea. God bless you. We (names omitted on purpose) are always here if you need anything. Huggss!!

* Lynn, I just saw your "Remembrance Day" on the side with the poppy. It used to be called Poppy Day, as I'm sure you know. My mother and I were downtown shopping many moons ago...I was probably barely 1 & she was holding me & we made the newspaper buying a poppy & the man pinning it on her. I forgot about that until ...I saw your notice. See, don't even THINK about other people's negativity....you touch too many positively. They can unfriend you if they want to, but I wanted to let you know that I appreciated the memory! Blessings!

* ...i wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers. life has been difficult to say the very least, for you.

* Hello Lynn,

Hope you are doing great by the Grace of God.

As I wrote on your wall, I totally believe there are many people who want to continue reading your messages you post on your facebook or on your blog. You don't need other people's permission to write on your own wall or make a post.

It's not about how they do feel regarding your post or what they think when it comes to posting a message of truth. It's about what your spirit tells you to do and what God approves of.

Even some so called christians want to embrace the wisdom and practices of the worldly, thinking it's acceptable in the sight of God.

As you said in your blog, they haven't even read the Bible before to know what God says regarding all these things. But when the '' few chosen ones, out of the many called'' makes a statement or talks about words of wisdom, the ''many called ones'' find it offensive. Don't be bothered. You are not on earth to please anybody, but to please only God.

When you have made your choice to go through the narrow gate, there will be many who will disagree with you in many things. Jesus did not compromise the word of truth when the Pharisees and leaders of the synagogue didnt agree with him.

So don't be bothered what they say about you or your post or even when they de-friend. God will always bring people to your life who are gonna a blessing in many ways to you. God bless you.

Have a wonderful night and have a pleasant day tomorrow.

Best Regards,

*******************

In response to the wonderful Christian love and support I received from my Facebook friends, this is what I posted as my status on Facebook, today:

Lynn Rutter McNally McKenzie thanks each of you dear friends for lifting me up when I was feeling low. I'm here and not going anywhere! May God bless you, now and always.


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com

Monday, August 16, 2010

Friends and Responses!

Knowing how awful I felt last evening, I thought for sure I wouldn't be able to sleep, but I did.  And, I slept well.

Upon waking up, I did my usual stuff I need to do, both for work and my personal life. 

As per normal, I did my stretching exercise and went to the pool to work out.  Wow!  Has the weather changed!  While it feels comfortably warm, it's not too hot!  The humidity level has dropped, drasically, making today a very comfy day!  The breeze down at the pool, which is located along the river's edge, was so strong, I thought it might blow me away.  lol  (As if it could!)  :-))

Last night, while feeling upset and heartbroken, I actually thought about not continuing my blog and cancelling Facebook.  Believe me, I did a lot of praying last night!  Asking God for wisdom and guidance, among other things.

Before heading off to bed last night, I posted a remark.  I truly was upset, wondering if I should just crawl into my shell and disappear from life.  My status read: 

Lynn Rutter McNally McKenzie seems to be upsetting people lately. Should I forget Facebook? Yes? or No? Help!

Much to my surprise, I had many responses.  Many more responses than I ever thought I'd receive.  While I won't use people's names, I will post their responses:

*  ‎??
*  WHAT??? Not upsetting me one bit! If you are upsetting someone, maybe you are stepping on some toes and hitting on their conscience & that's a good thing.
*  NO!
*  Not upsetting me... ;)
*  We just made friends!
*  No..
*  Not here in Mexico...I treasure your friendship...please don't leave. :)
*  Absolutely not. Ive seen nothing you posted that should offend anyone alto i have offended a few.
*  No..Your friendship means the world to me, you have helped me through some really tuff times, and have been a real inspiration to me. Please stay...~♥~
*  What you right and post is your preference...If you see it as Gods truth and it is scriptural correct you are doing what we as Christians were commissioned by Christ to do! WE are told to do all things in love and I see no hate in what you post but lots of truth and the truth only hurt those who have something to be afraid of in it! Keep it up sister and Gods grace and blessings be yours. JCFE!
*  No!! You are a blessing and I love your posts.
*  Should have spell check on my fingers...lol...that is write and post..lol
*  No, not at all
*  I don't think you should leave facebook Lynn!! You haven't done or said anything wrong!!
*  I would miss you so much, you have become so dear to me..Blessings to you...
*  You are a blessing!
*  No don't leave. You don't upset me.
*  Lynn, I believe many people want to see more of you on fb, so don't leave cuz few ppl are offended..Not everyone is gonna like what u post on here.
*  No, continue your postings, messages, etc... You have a voice that He wants to be heard. Continue to be blessed and be a blessing.
*  Lynn, I am not upset by any of your posts, you are doing a lot of good things on Fb.
*  Hi Lynn, this is our little podium... each of us can share our faith, we can share our hearts, we can love, we can be a voice in the midst... prayerfully consider before you leave. Many of us would miss you and what the Holy Spirit gives you to share. But it is your call.... we love you, whatever you decide.
*  If anyone's upset, that's their problem......stay!!
*  Lynn, if they are getting upset with you, they have the option of blocking or unfriending you. DO NOT LET THESE PEOPLE STOP YOU FROM DOING YOUR HEART.
*  No...it's called freedom of speech.
*  Oh, ______, you were wrong to write right, but then you corrected yourself so you were right to write write. Right?
*  come on now Lynn you know you would miss me! xo
*  ummm - you'll know if people are offended when they all block you. ;)
*  Lynn, your friendship is too valuable and your writings are all inspirational. You are a great woman of God. It will be a great lose if you leave. Please stay!

There were some remarks made to me not as responsive comments, but as messages, but for the sake of the length of this entry, I will print them, tomorrow.

Thank you, to all who responded to my posting, with Christian love and support.  May God bless you, richly.

Dear Father in heaven, You are such an awesome God.  You know everything there is to know about me, my life, my relationships, my walk with You and especially what Your desire is for my life.  I pray that you will provide me with me wisdom and guidance in all areas of my life.  In addition, I request that you reveal to me Your truth about relationships in my life, no matter how wonderful or hurtful it may be.  You promised that whatever I ask in Jesus' name, You will give me the desire of my heart, if it is Your will, because I am Your child who trusts in You.  So, I am trusting that it is Your will that these requests be fulfilled.  I thank you in advance for this.  In Jesus' name I pray.  Amen. 

Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com

Sunday, August 15, 2010

It Is Well With My Soul...

Last night, I seemed to sleep well, but awoke several times during the night.  This morning, I felt like I wanted to sleep longer, but didn't. 

Today, is my Lord's Day.  It's SONday.  Like normal, I went off to church to worship.

It's funny.  For a while now. I've been wondering if God is intentially removing people from my life.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I've experienced a lifetime of problems, many of which I didn't have control over.  Over the years, I have wondered about why I've experienced some of these problems.

It would be easy to say we cause our own problems, but this is not always the case.  But, this is a subject for a discussion on another entry.  Sometimes, we do cause our own problems.  Sometimes, God means for these problems to arise and allows those problems to come to fruition, so He can use them.  After all, He molds into the people He wants us to be. 

A special passage to me in God's Word, has always been Romans, chapter 8.  I just love that chapter in the Bible.  In verses 28-31 we read, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.  For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.  Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.  What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?".

Knowing that God conforms His children into the image of his Son, I've often wondered if this is one reason for the many challenges I've faced.  In fact, just the other day, I prayed about this very passage and asked God to show me if this is why my life has changed so drastically.  I think today, I found the answer.

Firstly, I must tell you, that my Pastor spoke of this very thing, in his sermon, today.  He preached on John 15:1-17.  When he described the 'pruning' that some Christians go through in their lives and their Christian walk, seemed to describe me to a 'T'.  I felt like he was talking to me.  Like God was talking to me.  When I left church today, I felt like I knew for sure that I was being 'pruned' by God.  I felt God confirmed to me that He was removing people from my life, so that I could only rely on Him.  This is truly the only way a person can become closer to God, to be used by Him in greater ways.

As you know, I am on Facebook.  Recently, I've experienced some problems with friends not liking my postings.  If you are familiar with my postings, you'll know that I not only remark on friendly items, I support Israel, speak out on issues that I believe are anti-Christian, comment on sin and post Bible verses.

Mainly I do these things, because I believe we the chosen, are called to spread the Gospel message, as well as support and educate others regarding Christian issues.  Why?  Many people who call themselves Christians have no idea what the Bible actually teaches.  I've read results from polls that say that many people consider themselves Christians, because they were raised in a Christian home, yet never worship at church, nor read their Bible and have no idea what God expects from them.

The other day, as I wrote about in a previous blog entry, a long-time friend of mine posted a rather nasty remark on my wall.  She let me know that she didn't like my postings, so she was going to stop receiving my postings.   While I found this upsetting at first, I thought about her background and found it understandable.  I forgave her.  We will continue to be friends.

Tonight, something even worse happened.  A person who has been a long-time friend, commented on my wall, with a not-so-bad remark.  Some discussion with other friends ensued, along with my remark, which ended with me saying that I thought that even though we didn't agree, we could 'agree to disagree'.  After friends are friends.  We don't have to agree on everything.

You should know that this person is saved; a born-again Christian.  Unfortunately, my friend decided it was not enough that they didn't like my postings and would cancel receiving them.  My friend actually de-friended me.  This is not the first time this has happened.  Actually, this is the second time.

To make matters worse, I was told they no longer wanted to be friends with me, at all.  You could have blown me away with a feather!  Shock, couldn't properly describe the immediate heartbreak I felt over this. 

It did make me wonder about their walk with the Lord.  Being the bold forthright person I am, I asked if this is how they treat everyone; no reply came.  Actually, I feel sad for this person, wondering if they throw everyone away like garbage, who doesn't agree with them.

Still, I forgive my friend. They may not want me to be their friend any longer, but they will always be my friend.  And, I will always pray for them.

All this brought a hymn to mind:  It Is Well With My Soul.  Here is a link to a rather 'different' version I hope you'll like:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru1D-AIomus 

While the reality of this song may not totally describe my feeling hurt tonight, I know that no matter what happens to me, God will always bring me through the storm.  Praise God!  Thank You, Jesus!


Until next time...

If you would like to comment, please e-mail:  lifewithlynnie@gmail.com