Friday, July 23, 2010

Two Kinds of Love...

I had a early night last night.  It was only about 2:30 am, when I shut out my light.  Except for a couple of times a few months ago, I haven't been dreaming.  Until last night, that is.  Don't ask me what I dreamed about, for I cannot recall.  Don't you just hate that?!

If you've been reading lately, you know that I've been writing about love.  Not being 'in love', but love, as in God's love.

Just to summarize quickly, I would like to say that if we love others, the way God wants us to, we will be honest with them.  No, we don't have to be rude, but can do this in a loving manner.  We can show God's love by telling them the truth about God, what He expects of them, plus help them to see that they too, are sinners, in need of a Saviour.  Just like you.  Just like me.

I didn't have much of a schedule for work, today.  Although there was some excitement, that literally died this evening.  Oh well!  So be it! life.  At least mine!

Knowing it called for storms later today, I made sure I found time around noon to go to the pool.  As per normal when I'm in the pool, I worked out.  Did my exercise routine.

While in the pool, I met a couple I had said 'hello' to, yesterday.  We didn't speak yesterday, because they had guests.  Family.  Even their grandchildren were there.  Yesterday, I recalled thinking I hadn't seen them until recently and presumed they were new to the building.  It tugged at my heart that they had grandchildren with them in the pool.  I've lived here almost four (4) years now.  My grandchildren have yet to come for a swim.

Today, the wife forgot something upstairs, so left to get it.  Her husband introduced himself, just as I was finishing up exercising.  We spoke about them having moved in only a couple of weeks ago.

Our conversation continued even after the wife returned.  They have a fifth wheel trailer and had travelled out west last summer.  Due to moving, no trip was planned for this summer.  However, they are planning to visit Arizona this winter. 

Arizona!  I couldn't resist telling them how wonderful and different Lake Havasu City, Arizona is, compared to the cities in the rest of the state.  Hopefully, they will make sure they visit there, even for a short time.  They will be shocked at how nice it is!

During our conversation, the husband mentioned God, so I asked if they were Christian.  Yes, they responded they are and told me where they worship.  Apparently, they met there.  She being alone 25 years, met him just after he became widowed.  They were married shortly after.

The husband said he believed that no one should be alone, claiming that everyone needs somebody.  Be still my heart... 

Although I could relate to what he said, it was so-o shocking to me that he remarried within a few months of his wife's death.  It made me wonder if he loved his deceased spouse, at all.  Oh well, it's none of my business.  Still, I cannot imagine doing this.  I can hardly grasp the fact that my husband is dead.

They asked about me.  I explained that Gordon died last October.  After some discussion on our spouses health problems and their deaths, we agreed that we can be happy they are no longer suffering.  Actually, I enjoyed their company.  Hopefully, we'll become friends as we get to know each other, better.

However, what we didn't discuss is the fact that I am suffering.  I feel horrible.  I hate my life.  I hate being alone.  The condition of my life, is not what I ever dreamed would happen to me.  But, here I am, all by my lonesome.

Every day, I cry out to God to help me, for I cannot do this.  He does.  Every day.  Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to get through this pain.

Love in the human sense, has not been good to me.  How often does love come into your life?  Not very.  Let's face it.  We don't fall in love with just anyone.  It takes a 'special' person, to be a soulmate.

If you are married, enjoy your spouse.  Love them.  Love your life, together.  And praise God for it.

Until next time...

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