Upon waking up, I had a song in my head that I could not shake. Say You, Say Me by Lionel Richie. The lyrics are as follows:
Say You, Say Me - Lional Richie
Say you, say me; say it for always
That's the way it should be
Say you, say me; say it together
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream
People in the park, playing games in the dark
And what they played was a masquerade
From behind of walls of doubt a voice was crying out
Say you, say me... (Chorus)
As we go down, life's lonesome highway
Seems the hardest thing to do, is to find a friend or two
That helping hand - Someone who understands
When you feel you've lost your way
You've got someone there to say "I'll show you"
(change in music)
So you think you know the answers - Oh no
Well the whole world has got you dancing
That's right - I'm telling you
It's time to start believing - Oh yes
Believing who you are: You are a shining star
Say it together... naturally.
To most people, waking up with a song in their head and in their heart, doesn't mean much, but to me, it is important. Often God speaks to me through music. I believe today was no exception.
If you read my blog entry from last Tuesday night, you know that I went to the Tecumseh Roadhouse after my legal meeting. Not to sing karaoke, but to have dinner. I didn't want those who saw me there practicing the previous few weeks to think I was angry or upset about not making into the Bluesfest Idol 2010 semi-final contest, so I decided to do this.
As I mentioned in my previous entry, while I was there, two (2) young women met with the lady in charge; they gave her their music for the semi-final contest. One woman was a professional singer with a band. The other was a woman I heard sing several times, at practices.
What I haven't mentioned is that I was appalled, seeing the non-professional woman, knowing that she had been selected to move forward into the semi-finals. Why? Well, I may not be a professional, but I love to sing and when I sing, I enjoy singing acapella (no music). In order to do this, one must have an ear for music. When I heard this woman sing previously at the location she was from (not Tecumseh Roadhouse), I thought she really wasn't competition, for she couldn't sing. Yet, there she was...in front of me, handing in her music list for the semi-finals.
What ran through my mind was: What did I do wrong? Did I have a bad night, when I performed? What happened? How could this be? Was I not selected, because I sang about Jesus in one of my songs? A myriad of thoughts ran through my mind. But, the ultimate thought was, "How could she have made it, and not me?"
I tried to not think about this. After all, I accepted the fact that it wasn't God's will for me to participate any further in the contest. Still, this bothered me ever since.
Waking up today, I felt like God was speaking to me, telling me that I am still important to Him, that I need to start believing in myself, for I have been feeling rather low, as you know. The clincher was the end of the song, where the lyrics say, "...You are a shining star".
Those lyrics might not mean much to anyone but me, because Gordon used to call me his shining star.
What I haven't told you is that yesterday I received a message from another participant in the contest. This person wanted me to know what happened at the semi-final contest, because I hadn't been in attendance.
In the message I received, the writer's exact words (I cut and pasted) are:
It was a big joke Lynn
There were only 4 people from Tec roadhouse and about 12 from Lucky's and out of the 12 from luckys you had 10 of them beat,hands down.
It nearly blew me away reading this, yesterday. It was so shocking, but in my heart of hearts, I had been wondering what happened, as I mentioned above.
The writer went on to say that they thought the problem arose, because the same judges who judged us, didn't judge the other people, who were performing at other locations. Apparently, each location had different judges. With the ultimate problem being that some judges are more forgiving than others, or have different ideas on what is talent.
The bottom line from the writer was that in their opinion, I was eliminated in error. And, I was left with the suggestion to try again, next year.
Nice thought. At this point in time, I'm not interested. I'm happy singing for God, when I am asked. Yes, I would have liked to have been able to sing my rewritten version of Sarah McLachlin's Angel that honours Jesus and not angels, on stage at Bluesfest. But, the end result is still the same: I know in my heart of hearts, it was not God's will for this to happen. Otherwise it would have happened.
Still, I am thankful this friend spoke up and encouraged me. Not just encouraged me, but reassured me that it wasn't a case where I had an 'off' performance, didn't have talent, or whatever, but rather was a glitch in the judging/organizing of the event.
And, I am thankful that God spoke to me, this morning. That matters most to me. That God loves me. He loves you, too. Trust in Jesus, and you'll find out, just how much!
Until next time...
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