Sunday, February 7, 2010

Love Day Anticipation...

Last evening's Bible study was wonderful. We are studying the book of Ruth; you'll find it in the Old Testament part of the Bible, if you are not familiar. I feel so blessed to have such good Bible-believing Christian friends, who included me in their small group Bible study. Praise God! Thank you, Jesus!

Since I was to be there for 7:00 pm, I left early and did a couple of errands on the way. Arriving exactly on time, I was surprised to find I was the first person there.

Each person in attendance was a special person to me, for each one had played a part in supporting me and taking care of me, while Gordon was in hospital and immediately after he died. There was only one couple missing from the group. To show my thanks once again, I took a small gift for all and gave a gift to the missing couple, today at church.

As you know, this is the first Sunday of the month, so after our worship service we celebrated Communion. It's always a special time for me, for I enjoy not just partaking the elements (bread and juice), but also because it gives me one more time to repent of my sin, prior to participating in taking Communion.

You may think this is a silly notion, but one of the reasons I enjoy taking Holy Communion, is because it reminds me of how much love God has for me. My Saviour, Jesus Christ, did not have to come to earth, die on a wooden cross and be resurrected so I can have eternal life. He did so of His own free will, in obedience to God The Father. God's Word tells us that there is no greater love than this: that a man give up his life for his brethren. Jesus did that for me...and for you. My prayer is that you will trust in Jesus for your own salvation, if you are not doing so, already.

Why is this important to me? Let's face it, it's not easy living in this world. It has proven itself to be a place where there isn't much love. At least, for me. If I didn't know that there really was a place called 'Hell', I might be tempted to think of my life, here on earth, as 'Hell'.

This is 'love' month; February. Valentine's Day is coming, next Sunday. My emotions are up and down, like a yo-yo. To be honest, I'm dreading it. The unfortunate thing for me, is that Valentine's Day is also my daughter P's boyfriend's birthday, so I can't just crawl into bed and cover my head on the day, no matter how much I would like to. No, I will have to bake/decorate a birthday cake, visit him with the cake and his gift and celebrate his special day. Believe me, I am not looking forward to doing so, this year.

It's not just because I'm missing Gordon, but also because I am very lonely. Yes, there are more types of love than just from a husband. But, while I am alone and lonely, others are celebrating love.

My parents are gone. One child doesn't have contact with me; this also means no contact with some grandchildren and a great-grandchild. My first love is still alive and happily married. Another important person from my past is alive and in a relationship. My siblings live too far away to visit; and, one feels that shunning the rest of us, is the right way to live.

While my love for them is alive and well and has never died, there isn't much love for me. It's a good thing I don't rely on love to live and breathe. lol

Happiness and joy are not the same thing. Happiness is something we humans strive for; joy cometh from the Lord. I'm glad I have joy, even if I feel unhappy.

Still, it's rather sad to think that the love in my life comes from heaven, where I am not. No matter what, I am grateful for the love I do receive.

Yes, I thank God for Jesus. He's my friend, who sticks closer than a brother. He promised me He would never leave me, nor forsake me. I can trust Him. He loves me. He loved me so much, that He provided for me, for eternity. Praise God! Thank you, Jesus!

Until next time...