A late night is not the cause for me being tired, today. On the contrary, for I actually went to bed rather early last night. I felt good for the first time in a long time; like a weight had been lifted from me.
It was an early morning that caused my tiredness. I'm not even sure what time it was when someone called. I think it was after 2 am, though. The person wanted to do a survey. I had been in 'never never' land; hopefully, I wasn't rude in my sleep, when I said, "no, sorry" or something like that, and hung up.
At first I didn't think I was actually woken up (awakened?) by the call, but all of a sudden, I became alert and could not go back to sleep. What kept rolling through my mind was, who would call at this time in the morning, to do a survey? Before I knew it, I was totally awake. After 3 am I got up and by about 3:30 am I was on facebook. Check it out for yourself! lol
To say I am tired, is an understatement. While I did doze after the darkness began to change to light (I won't say the sun came up, because it appears there is no sun, today; just grey skies), I never got back into a sleep pattern, again. Hopefully, whoever called will call again, so I can ask why on earth they would call at that time in the morning!
It's early as I am writing this, because firstly, I am awake; but also, I plan to leave early this morning to go worship and on my way, make Valentine's Day deliveries. It is my Lord's Day, but it is after all, Valentine's Day.
My darling Gordon, this is the first year you and I are apart in many years, on Valentine's Day. Normally, I would wake up to find red and pink hearts all over our home, reminding me of your love. Pink long-stemmed roses would adorn either our eating area or our relaxing area, or both. Even though I should not have sweets, there were always some waiting for me, near where I usually sit and more scattered throughout our home.
You were such a romantic person. Love just seemed to radiate from every pore of your being. When you would look at me, I could see the love in your eyes. When I touched even your arm or neck, you would get goosebumps and laugh about it, being even thirty plus years after first knowing you.
People used to tell me that you 'adored' me. I felt blessed, for I knew it was true. Me, the imperfect person, who never thought anyone could ever love me. I was loved.
Actually, I still am loved. For my Saviour loves me. Why? I don't know. For my sin is as filthy rags, the Bible tells me. He loves me with an everlasting love. Praise God! Thank You, for saving me from an eternity in hell. You said that my salvation is a gift from God, not of works, lest any man should boast. Your special gift was free to me; You paid the price. All I did was believe/trust in You, Jesus. So, simple. I love Him, too.
Many people only think of the Old Testament's Ten Commandments, when they think of what God commanded. While the Ten Commandments are a guideline of what God would have us live by, in the 22nd chapter of Matthew, in the New Testament, Jesus told us that there are only two commandments for us: 1) "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind". 2) "You shall love your neighbour as yourself". You will notice that both commandments involve 'LOVE'.
Gordon, I still love you and miss you, terribly. While I have been grieving for you, I have felt very alone and lonely. Today, I feel the same, even at this early hour. But, I am not burdened, for I know that my Saviour lives. You live with Him. One day, I will live with Him, too.
I'm blessed. And, I know it. Happy Valentine's Day.
Until next time...